I have always failed to last more than month or so. However something changed, I now have a girlfriend and still suffer most times of PIED. I have told her so far that this was anxiety issues which is partly true, but have not got the guts to confess this in fear of rejection. Have any of you had a successful coming-out out about having Porn addiction to a lover, how did you handle this? I’m scared shitless that by confessing she may not understand.
I told my girlfriend, I know of some others here who did. Things I feel you should do are written here
In my case it went really well and she was able to understand it (probably because she has some mental problems too and hence was able to feel with me)
In the case of cr1s it didn’t went that well. Unfortunately, I think he is not active anymore, so he can’t talk about his current state. he told that it opened a gap between them.
It really depends on you. I felt like I have to tell her. I wasn’t able to lie to her anymore. So, there really wasn’t any option for me.
I also think that it is important that you can show her your plan. Don’t just talk about your problem but also about your solution and idea how you can get out.
I can just encourage you to tell your girlfriend. If you are not sure about that tell it your best friend. I told my husband about it 31 days ago. He was very open-minded and listened to me. Although he cannot understand my feelings in total, he is trying his best. Since that time, I have a partner on my side who stands next to me whatever happens.
Since 33 days I am on hard mode. I had no erections since stopping to watch porn. It is not easy for him, to have no Sex at all. But the goal to have sex without PIED, is it worth.
I had a positive coming out.
PS: I am a happily married gay man.
I told my gf and she was pretty mad about it for quite some time. She said it would probably be a dealbreaker for her had I told her in the first few months of our relationship. Then again, I might have been a little too honest about it (2 times /day minimum) so meh…
In the end I am glad I told her, just word it carefully and manage your expectations. Not everyone will be glad because you shared your problem with him/her, some will be mad because they feel very much rejected.
But maybe in this case it is the wrong person for you? When the other part cannot support you with your trouble and addictions, who else should help and support you in this fight.
I have an experience about this issue.
There are two sides of this issue :
- It brings some relief & support
- It made me less serious about nofap.
First of all i didnt want to tell her about my nofap thing because i thought why tell her if i will complete my reboot before she knows
as i kept on Failing one day i had no option but to tell her but telling her didnt solve my problem i kept on failing 6 months passed till now
Now Beside myself there is also hopes & pressure on her side also Along with me she also shares my stress
In my opinion its better to deal with your shit on your own.
If you tell her and she rejects you then you will know her love was true or not
I think I’m a bit glad that I didn’t tell her how often I did it. I think it is enough that she knows that I do it
I agree. Theres a fine line between being honest and being overwhelming.
Thats why everyone should evaluate if the stress you put on the significant other and the way they mogjt react is worth it. Sounds harsh, and id say that being honest and connect is in general the way to go, but the when and eapeifally how isbl still important to figure out!
She does support me, but she was pretty mad at me at first.
But now she is supportive?
She is now yes. I do understand her though, I would be pretty hurt and upset too if I found out that she masturbates 2 times a day to god-knows-what kind of porn
i would like to give u advice about my point of view .
rarely the people u tell see that’s ok that’s good because u r a fighter and trying to quit and they only do when they had a similar problem of addiction or even deep awareness of it.
most of them already see u perfect or even just good when u tell them u r gonna look smaller in their eyes smaller than before even if they really love u but here i wanna mention 2 reactions:
1- if they truly love u they will not give up on u and they will try not to make u feel that u already became smaller than before in their eyes (maybe u will feel it or u will not )because they already love u.
2-if it’s not that true or not big enough u will know, doesn’t need to be explained how u will.
so if u want my advice … don’t , just don’t …u now know why.
what to do is try to be that good for them try to keep up with the picture that they see even make it bigger
u know they see u good with your shitty state cause they don’t know. but if your reboot succeeded u will be better and better and will be more loved cause your mind is in peace and can truly give love .
so keep on it yourself u can do it if you really truly extremely want to.