Coming clean as a girl with a huge problem

@comingclean challenged accepted 16 May to 5th June …I will be a tough challenge and I will won …Daily update status of streak …mine is 11 now and continuing it yours ?

2 Likes

images (20)

See who can win on 5th June
My code : uzlhg0

Nice :sunglasses:
4 and continuing. :blush:

1 Like

After seeing this… I am feeling very bad… wtf! I mean why such guys are even here in this forum? Are they really want to change themselves? Or just wasting their time and ALSO MAKING SOME OTHER PERSON UNCOMFORTABLE HERE( who really want to change herself).

Come on guys, IDK who are these guys…but if you reading then just…Fuck off from this forum…
Becoz with this type of thought process… you never going to change…never ever. So just enjoy your mast**n and become weak day by day and then die. You guys are also insulting this pure word MARRIAGE…

If you are here for some change and progress then first be a person of morals and ethics.

Sorry! I really do not want to say ajy bad words to any one but after reading that post… I tried to ignore it but I could not and I write here.

Next time anyone say anything which makes you uncomfortable… just make his name viral here so that everyone will block him and tag…taher…here. @comingclean

5 Likes

Hey @comingclean, I just had a chance to read through your comments here. First off, kudos to you for stepping up and admitting to this addiction.
Reading your story resonated with me. My wife and I are both Catholic, and respected within our parish. That being said, I’ve struggled with this addiction since I was a teenager (31 now). One thing that has helped me is being able to identify triggers, and the most common ones can be remembered with HALT.
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
I personally struggle most when I’m bored or tired, so I started finding healthy ways to keep my mind busy when I’m feeling those ways.
Also, just talking about it with someone breaks the cycle of secrecy, shame, and isolation that leads to the temptations wer feel.
Working through this with my wife definitely helped me to see that, as you said, there is a difference between how men and women process affection. Men tend to be more physically motivated, whereas women need that emotional connection. However, the basis behind addiction remains the same across genders. It comes down to dopamine in the brain. Understanding how these hormones work on our thought processes is another rung in the ladder to overcoming this addiction.
You’ll find all kinds of ideas on here of things that help, but you’ll also see that the vast majority of us still fall from time to time. It’s just s matter of figuring out which methods work best for you.
I wish you the best of luck and you’ll be included in the prayers i have for everyone in this group. You can do it!

5 Likes

From last 3 days… I am continuously struggling with this so called BOREDOM… tried almost everything but did not enjoy any of it… different people have their own different type of struggles. But this one is really hard to counter.
zero energy+zero libido+sleeplessness = Boredom. :neutral_face:

3 Likes

@neo_150 I understand bro. This shit only gets stronger and stronger. But stay in there tight. Yesterday I had the greatest urge to fap in my life. I went to sleep at 11 30 but couldn’t sleep. My head was aching like anything. I never felt this much pain in my head before. Brain was telling me it’s going to explode. I stayed in bed thought about my goals, companions, you people and listened to music. I stayed there with that pain till 3. And somehow went to sleep. But in the morning brother, I felt like the king of the world. THE BEAST WITHIN ME HAS GROWN MORE STRONGER. Yesterday night I was the saddest person in the world but today Iam the happiest. Its worth it dear brother. Stay in there tight!!!

BEASTMODE :muscle::muscle::muscle:

7 Likes

This is temporary. Keep up the good work! :muscle:
Did you tried working out/doing excercise in these days?

1 Like

Hi,

I would like to say thank you for your kind words and support. It means a lot to me. :raised_hands:

Yes, I’ve heard about the HALT, thank you:) I’m trying to practice this method:)

Currently I’m focusing on how to prevent relapses. I’m thinking through my habits and thinking patterns. I write more about it in my journal (‘Comingclean’s journey’).

May God bless and keep you and your wife! :pray:

2 Likes

Thank you. I wish I could say it’s easy, but as i’m sure you know, it is a real struggle. Having people to communicate with, who are going through some of the same struggles, is definitely helpful though.
As far as preventing relapses, I’ve been trying to go for a jog before work every day, and that had seemed to help with urges and prevent relapse.

Alsox I originally kept it a secret from my wife, as I hoped to overcome it myself before talking to her. I guess it was my way of trying to guard her heart from that side of me. Unfortunately, that’s not how things worked out. She was emotionally devastated, understandably, but that was a real turning point for me. By the grace of God, she stuck with me, and has been one of my closest allies now as I work to rebuild her trust. So now, each time I feel an urge, I think about how I hurt her, and that helps me find the strength to overcome the temptation. Id say if you can find a motivation like that, maybe your current relationship, and make that your primary focus, it may help. Just some food for thought.

4 Likes

Yeah… I am doing all this stuff daily…
I know one thing now… no matter what comes in my path…Boredom, Flatline, urges… I am not going to give up. :muscle::muscle:

4 Likes

Thats the BEASTMODE attitude my dear brother. Only with this attitude we’ll be able to beat this addiction once and for all💪

4 Likes

So, I was thinking. For me, it is/was a self-control issue with MO. And the main problem was that I don’t/didn’t say no to myself when I started thinking about r mantic sc nes. Most of the time I went too far I couldn’t turn back.

In my opinion, the solution of this is… To distract yourself at the right time before it becomes too late.
And Yes! REMEMBER TO DISTRACT YOURSELF INSTEAD TO USE WILL POWER.
will power does not work that much for us( as we have failed so many times in it that is why we do not have that much STRONG WILL left in us), Also it is scientifically PROVED.

1 Like

Yes, you are so right!

1 Like

You mean I’ll fail? :pleading_face::sob:
That’s not true bro…

Just kidding bro :joy:.
Each one has their own success pathways! :wink:

3 Likes

Hahaha… no brother…you will not fail… you will rise like Messi (your idol… i think!!).

But yes… I have watched it on History TV … they were doing some survey on kids… they put candy before them and check… whether they can resist or eat it…( you may find it on youtube or somewhere)… at the end they explained that using will power ALONE is not that much effective.

Also may be you have seen some videos to grow Will power(some call it a muscle in brain)… there are so many activities to make powerful your will.

I can send some videos if you want.

1 Like

Okay brother! And thanks for the motivation!
@neo_150

@comingclean you are on a great streak. Keep it up !!

2 Likes

Thank you, @strongwillpower :pray:

1 Like

I saw a website on a covenant eyes article. It can be helpful for you. @comingclean

1 Like