CoffeeMan's Diary

Mera PG exam tha… and ye account 6-7 saal purana hai… tabhi I really didn’t care about the username and picked the most random shit that came to my mind… mei coffee Peeta bhi nahi… chai is love :joy:

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Achya achya Maine abhi hi dekhi apki dairy ki upr aali posts med student noice noice🥲 fir kyu itne dukhi ho mai to sochti hu medical aale vichare pdhte ni thkte

That’s why I’m enjoying rn :star_struck:Baarish ,music or chai

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I’m not dukhi :sweat_smile:
Just sailing through the regular ups and downs.

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Plan for July 5, 2024

Wake up at 7:30am :x:
Cold shower, get ready :white_check_mark:
• Hip mobility exercises :x:
• Trapezius rehabilitation exercises
• Neck strengthening exercises
• Core stability exercises
• Lower back rehabilitation exercises
Breakfast :white_check_mark:

9am - 1:30pm Papulosquamous part 2 :x: (couldn’t complete)

1:30-4pm Buffer period
• Lunch :white_check_mark: (cooked lunch today)
• 25 Flashcards :x:
• Complete morning study target if pending :x:

4 - 8pm
• Follow up appointment with Ortho doc :white_check_mark:
• Solve Flashcards during the wait : target 50 :x:
• accomodate a tea break of half an hour if possible :white_check_mark:

? - 10 pm
• All Surgery Flashcards :x:
• Dinner :white_check_mark:

In bed by 11pm :x:

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I’ll always be thankful to you for this recommendation, @Mahoraga. It’s one of the best choices I’ve made. There’s no better way to practice discipline than in a disciplined environment and just as @Binocular says, “Discipline will take you to places where motivation can’t.”

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July 6, 2024

Good day overall. Despite a lot of unforeseen engagements, I managed to complete a topic that had been pending for a few days now. I also cooked lunch and dinner today.

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Plan for July 7, 2024

Wake up at 8 am
Check water tank and top it up
Wash utensils
Cold shower
Cook and eat breakfast

11am-12pm
• Trapezius rehabilitation exercises
• Hip mobility exercises
• Hamstring stretches

12-2pm Dermatology

2-3:30pm Cook and eat Lunch

3:30-6:30pm
• Dermatology
• Flashcards

6:30-7:30pm Workout

7:30-8pm cooldown

8-9pm Cook and eat dinner

9-12pm
• Medicine Lecture
• Solve PYQ
• Flashcards if time left

Sleep by 12:30

Edit 1: it’s 3 am and I still haven’t fallen asleep. So the chances of following the above schedule properly are slim.

Edit 2 : I woke up with a cold. Then developed fever, bodyache and weakness. Tried studying but just couldn’t. I’m home alone too. A friend is gonna get me medicine in an hour or two. Will feel better after that and try to get whatever little work done.

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Our moments of weakness are not just that. They are also moments of amnesia. We forget what we’re fighting for.

Remember the defeat. Remember the humiliation. Let that feeling fuel your fire. Redeem yourself.

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Thanks for this @CoffeeMan. The remembrance will be a great reminder to focus and push through. We need to be stronger than anything thrown at our way. The world is merciless and unforgiving.

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Just had an unnecessary accidental relapse. No worries though, I’ll bounce back easily from this. Might stay off the forum for a few days cuz I access it through the app and I don’t wanna see the counter for the first few days. Will find more ways to keep myself busy in the meantime.

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I’ve developed the habit of directly going to forum when I open the app without even looking at my streak. At this point it’s a habit, because I developed the same because I had the same issue. So if that’s an issue for you I feel like it’s a very easy remedy based on the quick access menu

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What’s an accidental relapse?

What feelings come up when you see the counter during the first few days of the streak?

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Time for me to confess. It wasn’t entirely an accidental relapse but to some extent it was. Let me explain. So I have primary premature ejaculation. I guess that explains it somewhat for those of you who know what PE is. I was on a 25 day streak and was facing a barrage of urges. I was aroused and fantasizing but I had it in me to not give in. I had no intention of MOing but the hypersensitivity got the best of me. In fact I didn’t even “M”, I just retracted the foreskin (which I do when I have an erection to check for points of maximum sensitivity because I plan to get a surgery after an exam next month) and it resulted in an ejaculation.

Some of you might find this funny but it’s a very personal secret that I’ve guarded for over a decade. But I’m finally telling people. Started this year only. It has troubled me all my youth and crippled my confidence with women. But I don’t intend to blame it anymore. It is what it is. Surgeries for PE are still being studied and more research needs to be done. Nonetheless, they are offered in Asian countries including India. I’m gonna go through with it because it’s the only permanent fix if it succeeds. And I don’t wanna take medicines or use numbing agents prior to intimacy.

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Thanks for the advice brother. I couldn’t keep away from the forum anyways and the streak didn’t really bother me so it’s all good :blush:

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This post seems very incoherent. Lemme know if you guys need any clarification. I don’t know what has happened to my writing skills…

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I think I answered it in my response to debellator but lemme elaborate a bit. Well, currently I tend not to think about it much but there was a time when resetting the counter felt like all is lost. And that mentality encouraged chaser effect and led to more relapses.

But now, I don’t just see the relapse after a long streak. I also see the long streak along with it, and that long streak feels like a giant leap in the right direction. It feels like I’m getting closer and closer to freedom. Helps me focus on the right things instead of constantly worrying about something that has already happened and can’t be changed.

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I understand brother. I doubt anyone here would laugh though. In fact, I’ll expose what I’ve been through too. I’ve experienced a similar premature ejaculation issue too. There have been times when within just a few seconds of watching P I ejaculated without even doing M. It just blew up on its own due to the visual stimulation I suppose. Really messed with my head, all these thoughts about whether I’d be any use when finally having a sexual relationship and so on, but I believe that abstinence will be curative.

This is a better mindset, good to know that you’re seeing things differently now.

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I relapsed. I didn’t MO but watched P which is even worse. Idleness is the reason. The moment there is prolonged inactivity, I inevitably take the route of PMO to fill that void.

Why do I do that instead of doing something better?
Because it’s the path of least resistance. It’s easy to just pick up my phone and relapse as opposed to getting up, getting ready, going out to meet new people, reading something new, learning and trying to understand a difficult concept, etc. All the latter activities that I just mentioned range from uncomfortable to downright scary. Doing these things is what leads to real growth. And yet, I keep taking the route of instant gratification.

Now I need to take the following actions to prevent further failures:
• Prepare a schedule for the next day every night.
• Stay out of the house as much as possible.
• Talk to the people in your life more often (avoid exes)
• Spark conversations with strangers.
• When idle at home, replace the phone in your hand with a book.

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No worries bhai.
I’ll suggest you to learn ’ How to keep our senses pure ? ’
You’ll have to understand it deeply.

What you see, read, listen, leaves a big impact on your thought process. Don’t use any social media for at least 2 month except this forum. You’ll realise how your thought process changes.

Second thing, Make your connection stronger with God. God cannot be compared to anything :pray: He is the only one who can guide us. Slowly and steadily your bad habits will change into good habits.

I’m Experiencing these things in my journey so thought It may help you.

You are powerful :muscle:
God bless you

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Thanks for the encouragement brother.

How do I do that? Is it a book?

The only social media I’m on apart from this forum is YouTube. And I’ve cut down on my YT consumption too. Although there’s still room for improvement. I’ll work on it brother.

True. God bless you too brother.

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