"Check-in" Daily - diary challenge

It’s seems like the holidays may have kept many away?

I’m checking in after a while but have no teach record yet. I rebooted yesterday.

New year, new me!

@Aoshigreen @Gk-00

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Day one

It’s good to be back in this and I enjoyed the first day free. I really feel like I’m changing.

@Aoshigreen @Gk-00

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Day Two

Trudging on and feeling good.

@Aoshigreen @Gk-00

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Day Three

Feeling good on a three day row. Here’s to more of that! If I can do this times ten, I will do a hard reboot after this soft one.

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Thanks to @Forerunner added you as an accountability partner after putting it off for ages. Another big fail and realised however crap my life is looking at porn and masturbating just makes it even worse.
Hoping to check in daily now anyone else willing to commit to daily check ins regardless of your streak and failures?

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Checking in again today. Where did everyone go?
I’m Ok so far
Reading the easy peasy book. Perhaps we could discuss that on this thread ? Or create another one? But I haven’t read enough of it yet to contribute anything meaningful
Hope everyone is ok. Good to look outward when our addictions tend to make us look inward

God bless all: Happy Sunday or Son-day if you’re a Christian/Catholic :wink:

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10 Good things about pmo

1, “it relaxes me”
~ but in reality, relaxing has turned into a drug fix.

2, “it teaches me about sex”
~ it teaches NOTHING that isn’t obvious or can’t be communicated between intimate partners.

3,… “ummm… other good things” :thinking:
“women are hot”
“errm… I like titty”
“it feels good”

Yes, we all do,… But what is Good about pmo?
What Good, is it bringing you?
What’s good about pmo?

It doesn’t relax or bring good things,
I could give you a stomach turning list of bad things it brings; dopamine spikes (loss of motivation in others things) paranoia, low self worry, depression… Etcetera.

It’s not relaxing, it’s not educational,
it’s not a ‘feel-good’
It’s stressful, it’s anti-sex,
And it brings bad feelings.

I wonder whether it has been pmo all along that has brought stress, low self-worth, aniexty

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And all of the sudden I’m past five days and on day six! I often fall before I reach a week so I am intending to make it through this week and beyond. I had some temptation this weekend but prayed and mediated and didn’t give in. Yesterday I had more temptation and pushed it some but didn’t look. Thank goodness.

Peace and victory in our journeys and battles!

@Aoshigreen @Gk-00

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Checking in today. So far so good regards pmo.
Regarding my health I have to phone the dr but that’s a separate issue.

What I’ve believed was good about pmo:

Meets a need
Is a substitute for a girlfriend
Is better than being single with no pmo
Gives me a massive chemical high and makes me feel really good in the moment particularly if I drag it out for hours

Beyond that : I have to do it and I have no choice but to give in and I don’t want to fight these urges all day.

Also: I’ll quit tomorrow, I don’t have a major problem, everyone does it, I’ll do better tomorrow, if I can manage it then that’s OK like once a week

Ok the reality:

It’s a trap. Every time I’ve tried to manage it it has escalated in terms of content becoming more hard core, in terms of time spent viewing it i.e hours on end even half the night and in terms of frequency like 3 times a week maybe more.
So managing it is not a good plan.
Regards quitting clearly its not easy to just quit or I would have done it by now so I can’t tell myself I’ll quit tomorrow
I do have a major problem hence the accountability software and all the lengths I’ve gone to over the years to tackle this and manage it.
If everyone does it that doesn’t mean its a good thing it just means a hell of a lot of people are victims to it.
I do have a choice though I proved that on my longest streak of 20 odd days so the urges can be resisted
I don’t want to fight urges all day but eventually they die down a bit I’ve been told and the body and brain adapts and if I have to fight urges all day for awhile in order to get free then I’ll have to do that ( it’s like going cold turkey from drugs so just lock me in a room with no technology for a week plus food and drink and toilet though)
This is the most challenging part handling urges and doubts say a few weeks in and onwards for a few months I don’t know.
Getting comfortable with discomfort is the key.

Continuing in reverse order to address faulty beliefs: yes it gives me a massive high but I can live without that and use the dopamine detox to reset normal levels and get my motivation back

I’m actively sacrificing an unnatural dopamine high for something much better. I’m thinking long term not short term and final objection and this a big one for me:

Porn is a girlfriend substitute

NO IT ISN’T

But, but , but …

NO you are using it that way for sure but in no way is watching porn and girls I’ll never meet on a screen the same as an actual relationship anymore than watching a movie of a group of friends the same as hanging out with a group of friends or a friend.
The porn experience is one way. So it’s unreality and basically I’m using them for my pleasure well friendships and relationships don’t work that way. Try that in real life and get called a selfish self centered sex addict? Try that in real life I think its called rape and how guilty would you feel?

Yes I know some people do the friends with benefits thing but I think its empty

We were designed for real relationships not relationships with a screen that is lonely and sad.

Does it meet my need for a real relationship and intimacy? Clearly not because it’s unreal
Does it meet my need for sexual expression? No because its an inflated need and if it met the need I wouldn’t feel so ‘thirsty’ afterwards .

Porn doesn’t satisfy

Let’s become the men we want to be and address our faulty beliefs and behaviour. The behaviour we’re not proud of and the behaviour that isn’t helping us

So that’s my list anyway and the logical arguments I use to tackle those ideas

In the moment of temptation I believe Mark Q says having a big debate with yourself might not always be the best approach. Maybe a quick response like ‘I don’t need this’ or 'it doesn’t satisfy ’ or ‘you’ll feel shit after’ might be better…

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I’m one week into my reboot!

Yay!

@Aoshigreen @Gk-00

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Checking in 3 days clean

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Wahoo! I’m past the one week mark, day eight. I don’t get here often but I’m aiming for two weeks!

@Aoshigreen @Gk-00

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Checking in at 4 days clean. Tough times hope everyone is ok :ok_hand:

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Day Nine

Things are going well. Healthy connections are helping. The cold, less so. (Because I don’t want to get out of bed.

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I relate to that been staying in bed far too long in the mornings. We know what we should do but we don’t do it…

Day 5: 5 days clean

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Day eleven

Struggling some the last couple of days but I’m not reaching out to anything bad for the most part. I long you healthy connections with other guys in my life but covid-19 makes connecting difficult, also, my relationships at work are very sanitary.

@Gk-00 @Aoshigreen

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6 full days clean checking in. Doing more helps.
Reading easy peasy not sure I totally agree with all of it but more to read.
Few health issues but pressing on regardless
We drag ourselves onwards and upwards. Not had any major urges yet just a few tiny triggers yesterday and today which I shut down instantly… Being careful how much tv I watch, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook etc or at least restricting that definitely helps. Actually trying a kind of health diet and its helping with nofap because self discipline is a transferable skill

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That’s a good streak are you reading easy peasy or watching nofap videos or audio for encouragement and motivation?

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7 days clean pleased I got this far. Now for another week clean :pray:

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Did I say I’d check in every day? Well I intend to. I’m 8 days clean as of this moment and thats a good streak for me. It’s been a long time since I went 8 days clean which kindof reveals the problem I’ve had. Working with a friend the last few days really boosted my self esteem as I’m currently unemployed and friendship is so important.
I know we’re are in lockdown and people will have different views on that although I know that noone enjoys it but some will see it as necessary or essential but… socialising in some way is really important for our mental health and also to maintain a streak. So if that’s via zoom or within a bubble or standing 2m apart or going for a walk with someone then that’s kinda essential in my opinion.

Don’t allow people or the government to call you selfish if you’re simply trying to maintain a friendship and safeguard your mental health and nofap streak. It ain’t selfish its essential
Next we’ll be told it’s selfish to be alive because we’re depleting the earth’s resources or something like that… Don’t believe everything you’re told on the mainstream news… Just my thoughts anyway

Hope everyone is fighting to maintain a good streak, keeping busy and staying as positive as possible given the situation…

Blezzingz Rbtr81

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