Check in Monday: Day 1
Lockdown will make it harder for you. Being lonely and having time at home is dangerous for most if not all of us but glad the job is going well at least. Here in the UK we’ve entered a 2nd lockdown ( down South ) but can meet with one other person outside as I understand or stay within a bubble of one other friend but tbh honest I’m not sure how strictly people are sticking to it… they don’t have enough police to enforce it either and noone wants to live in a police state. Starting to worry about our freedoms and with the churches being closed once again I fear for people’s mental health
I’m not doing so well guys. I fell last night and this morning. Please keep me in your prayers.
Feel again. I got a really triggering message from someone that totally derailed me. I’m not giving up.
Also not doing so well I’ve realised it’s what we believe that drives us. In other words someone with the same urges but a different set of beliefs or internal script will be able to say No.
It’s those critical moments when we have to choose last night I said to myself ‘sod it’. I felt denied. I equate porn with intimacy. I considered the fantasy and escapism worth it in the moment. I believed that porn is a girlfriend substitute that its not much different. I’ve believed I’ll always be single therefore I’m entitled to watch porn. That I need it.
I have to refute all of these beliefs in order to fully succeed and some of them must be refuted in order to make a start at least.
How do I refute these beliefs? With logic I suppose. By telling myself that this isn’t true in the moment but at a deeper level I still believe them. So I have to change my deeply held beliefs and that takes time. That is the process of renewing my mind I suppose.
I’ll use scripture too but others who are not religious will have to fall back on logic alone and common sense because we know after doing it that it was a waste of time and solved nothing but within a week we are tempted and that thinking is met with a challenge; an urge and an idea with it: ‘are you sure porn is so bad for you?’
Or 'just this once ’ or ‘I frickin need this!’ Or 'I can’t resist ’ these lies and doubts need to be met with truth. I know its bad for me. I don’t need this. This behaviour isn’t in alignment with my goals, ideals and better self. This won’t bring me happiness. Porn has only created more problems for me and this time will be no different. This won’t meet my need for intimacy because its not real its fake. It’s fantasy. I can resist this because I’ve resisted this in the past. When I resisted in the past I felt pleased with myself and happier and my self control was strengthened.
Another one I get is ‘yeah I can resist but why should I?’ Thats another idea I must tackle
Because its not helpful, because its damaging, because it doesn’t satisfy, because I will feel miserable after…
Just some thoughts anyway. Good to share with you all.
Let’s hang in there! We can overcome this and build genuine intimacy with our Creator, with friends, with mentors/elders, and with potential partners.
Ok I’ve failed again Jeez this is frustrating. Really want a decent streak, damn it no I want to be free from this addiction or do I? Its serving a purpose this addiction isn’t it?
Thats why we do it and maybe we think we can’t beat it either?
We can beat this addiction and get the lives we desire.
Been listening to universal man podcast and working through all his content from start to finish then I will eventually end up doing the reforged man course I think that’s inevitable that I will finally get round to doing that.
I haven’t started it yet because I feel like I need a streak going and working with his free content first…
How’s everyone doing ? If things are going well what’s working and what isn’t?
Sunday 22nd Nov
It’s been a bit of a rocky road for me recently, but I’m well and okay, and very blessed
Thanks be to God
Worklife; its been stressful but the results have been wonderful. And I’m enjoying myself.
Romance; we talk every night, though we spoke earlier in the day. It was lovely having a longer meaningful conversation - a blessing.
Spiritual life; I feel like I strayed in a few ways.
There’s weed culture going on here at the moment. It’s hard to escape especially as I partake in it weed is always leading me to absent mindedness, which is a dangerous path, (an impossible one?) for someone who wants to stop pmo?
I just want to remind myself,
Just because it’s on YouTube and deemed “safe” it’s still the same spirit, or demi-god… Its still part of p, in how I and many others relate to it.
I made sure to take Sunday off, live streamed Mass and was moved to tears during the creed
I’ve been in much much better places than I am right now.
Without pmo, I am clear minded, calmer, sharper, have more time, remember my dreams and can interpret them better. Without pmo I’m more able to give helpful advise and encouragement to others
Would you consider completely quitting the weed? If it’s linked to pmo then you might have to but I understand that would be tough but then quitting pmo is tough and living with pmo is tough. Didn’t someone say: ‘choose your hard’ ?
Yes, I don’t want to be doing it.
I wasn’t even smoking it before the lockdown.
I’ll just have to be blunt for my sake, and avoid being near it
Weed; I smoked a couple of times, it’s a nasty habit. My elderly friend is dependent on it, and never without. His argument for not stopping would be “I’m old, it won’t do me much harm now” But it’s his lifestyle it’s not up to me, and my lifestyle is not up to him.
Work; Day off. A few admin jobs, brief chat
Small job in the evening
Health; Long walk today, cooked and ate well
Spiritual; the long walk was good, sang Psalms, and reflected
Nofap; I had a setback
it wasn’t a binge, but I need to be mindful that I don’t see nopmo as a sacrifice.
I feel like I’m on the fringes at the moment, and it’s not a bad thing as I’m not in a heavy place at all Thanks be to God
Yesterday, I heard a brother’s testimony who was set free from various kinds of drugs. When he came to Christ, he heard the voice of the Lord work to him that all the feelings he felt on drugs are counterfeits the enemy uses. During his conversion he felt all of the joyous and estatic feelings he felt before without their negative aspects. Just something to think about but in the end, you have to make the choice that’s right with your conscience.
I had very struggling a lot but came through and am one day free. I spent part of yesterday meeting with the brother I mentioned and we prayed through issues related to sexual history, bondage, freedom, and healing. It was very good for me.
I give thanks to the Lord for how loving and patient he always is towards me.
Tues 24th Nov
I had a busy productive day with others.
Weed? I’m still giving in.
I’ve had a few urges last night and this morning but I chose not to be there.
Thanks be to God
Checking in today I binged last night because I felt low. Its escapism I know it is. But its not the life I want and chaser effect this morning but again it could’ve been avoided. So that’s 3 days and I crashed. Its all in the mind this addiction what we are thinking determines our course.
Planning to check in at least once a day now
God bless all. Rbtr81
Don’t know if this will work but welcome @Fearless.soul think you’ll see this
Hand in there!
I’m on day three, which usually feels good. Now to make it a week.
Blessings and prayers!
Wed 25th Nov
Wonderful day. Productive, fun and with others.
I did smoke a little, but am becoming more able to simply observe. Thanks be to God.
Thurs 26th Nov
I woke early with no objective and gave in
But happy to be here, keeping it simple and honest.
I’ll check in again before bed, and/or first thing in the morning with some objectivity
It’s been a nice day, and only had a few minor urges. I’ll livestream Mass tomorrow morning from https://www.churchservices.tv/
Nopmo is not a sacrifice or a fight,…
Pmo has nothing good to offer,
it is a sweet addictive poison that offers no cure to problems, only adds more problems and creates dependency.
I don’t need it like I don’t need crack,
And I don’t need to be a perv like I don’t need to be a crackhead.
I place all my Faith in God in all things
Check in Thursday: Day 2
Thanks God for one day more!
Check in Friday: Day 3