Week 7 - Sep 14, Sat - Streak: 20 days!
One more day to new badge which will equal 3 weeks clean! Good stuff.
Worked hard today in my martial arts test. All day thing, painfully long, but when it finally ended I was happy.
Saw a movie with my family, IT chapter 2, not sure if they play that stuff outside the US, but it’s a scary movie.
Overrall a good day. So glad to have this group. Can’t thank you guys enough for being here.
This is my streak, I’m going to make it.
“Fun without control. It is a strange hell.”
- Someone in the Pornhub comments
Remembering how it is. Often times after I would relapse, I would scroll down to the comments to see what people were saying about a specific video. I guess I was just so disgusted with myself that I read them to see if anyone else thought the same. Surely there was someone. But there never was.
Or maybe I went into the comments to find some humor in what I had just witnessed. Realizing that it was all rot, I wanted some relief from my guilt. I’d find it there for sure, people making fun of the sick situation. Talking like it was normal. Giving tips for things they would like to see next.
But one time, I scrolled down on a particularly nasty video. And everyone was just absolutely rotten in the comments. Except for one guy. One guy put this in a comment. It just got me good. It hit home at that moment. I really was in a strange hell. Sitting in my bathroom completely naked. Alone, in my own filth, in the middle of the night. While everyone was sleeping and living a normal life, here I was. Stuck somewhere between the insanity that is instant pleasure and unmeasurable guilt. Between the burning desire to be someone, and the animal-like instinct to be no one, nothing but an organic machine. Somewhere between having fun and going too far. No control.
It really is a strange hell. One I never want to go back to.
All GOOD 
200+ ‘Double Century’