"Check-in" Daily - diary challenge

That’s right. Not the rabbit hole :smile:
But this is not the pink elephant, but the ‘special’ blue rabbit, let it lead you home :pray:

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Yay, I hope not to get blue bunny though :wink:

Week 45 - Friday

All good

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@rowdy_nik I’m not making sexual innuendos :sweat_smile:

The Pink Elephant stands still,
The rabbit moves fast, it wants to lead you home.
You can’t hold onto it, otherwise it won’t lead,
it dissappears if ignored,
chase it.

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Haha understood bro, I got what you saying. It’s always very insightful n fun talking to you :hugs:

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Haha, thanks :sweat_smile: you too bro, but warning, my answers are just answers :pray:

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Week 45 ~ Friday

I’ve been working very late nights, and my mind has shifted, waking up blurry, I know it’s not an excuse. I fell :fried_egg: but I’m all good, Thanks be to God :pray:

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:warning: Yes, I gotta start asking right questions from myself and find answers.

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Week 7 - Sep 13, Fri - Streak: 19 days

Moving up. Walking around my campus today, just felt good, I felt confident about myself. No thoughts about what others are thinking about me, whether they are judging me or not. I am starting to feel like I deserve to be loved again, in the sense of finding a relationship. But at the same time, I am also feeling more and more like it’s not a big deal for me right now if I don’t find someone.

When I am in the midst of my addiction, i don’t feel worthy and I have a strong desire to be in a relationship. Which is a terrible feeling.

But that is slowly going away. Thank the Lord. Things are getting better and better.

This is my streak, I’m going to make it.

“Great works are performed, not by strength, but perseverance”
-Samuel Johnson

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Checking in - All good
Week 45 - September 14, Saturday

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Day 6
My day 6 completed on hard mode. I have stopped energizing the urges. Now my body is facing withdrawal symptoms. I get anxious and panicked. I disturb myself deliberately to avoid the emptiness. Porn and violence is deeply related. I’m always frustrated. Lets see what the future has for me. I swear I will never lust in my entire life towards anyone. I promise to God.

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Checking in - Saturday 14th September. All good, thank GOD.

Don’t look back - you’re not going that way.
Eric Thomas

On this journey, there are many things we want to leave behind us. The constant relapses, the shame and regret, the pain and misery we tried to avoid. The past only has painful memories, and tells us that the future will be more of the same. But it takes courage to look forward and expect something we’ve never experienced before, and take the steps towards making that a reality.

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Check-in? :sweat_smile:
Day 0
Something’s wrong with me🤦🏻‍♂️
I’ve made bad decisions sinking into guilt & shame…
My apologies, again :man_facepalming:t2::bouquet:

It’s a bit comforting to know that I’m not alone who’s struggling😅

@Aoshigreen How are you doing? Can I rejoin?:grin:

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Week 45 - SaturDay 6 - Sep 14
3½ days in. Got very hard stick n balls all day. Urging now but App’s Feel the Urge Timer helped me Soothing it out.

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Week 45 - Saturday

All good

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Week 45 ~ Saturday

All good :+1:

@Positivebloke of course you can rejoin :joy:
You don’t need to apologise.
It’s wonderful to see you back :tada::pray::+1:

Please always Check-in with ‘The Day Of The Week’ Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,…etcetera

It makes it much easier for me to edit :pray::+1:
Onegaishimasu :bowing_man::smile:

Never feel guilt or shame, and please come and go without worrying, but finding your way.
This community supports each other in many ways :pray:

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Day 7
My day 7 (hard mode. My noFap streak is 25 days) has completed. Now I don’t get any urges as such. The secret is to never edge. Never watch any single photo or women with lust. Complete abandon of lust is required to win. If you edge then inevitably you’ll relapse. Hence just say no to any kind of edging or lust. This will make the journey much easier.

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DAY 198

Week 45 :white_check_mark:
Check in… Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat, Sunday
:blush:All GOOD :+1: :+1: :+1: :+1: :+1: :+1: :+1:


Coming up next…:point_right:200+ ‘Double Century’ :joy: :joy:

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Check-in👍 Sunday
It’s better to not count days…
You are already a winner if you can go through rewire for just today

Woke up late… missed the basketball coaching… * sigh *
I’m going to meditate, & study all day…
Maybe I’ll start diary writing tomorrow.

@Forerunner can i get your sharing code?

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Week 7 - Sep 14, Sat - Streak: 20 days!

One more day to new badge which will equal 3 weeks clean! Good stuff.

Worked hard today in my martial arts test. All day thing, painfully long, but when it finally ended I was happy.

Saw a movie with my family, IT chapter 2, not sure if they play that stuff outside the US, but it’s a scary movie.

Overrall a good day. So glad to have this group. Can’t thank you guys enough for being here.

This is my streak, I’m going to make it.

“Fun without control. It is a strange hell.”

  • Someone in the Pornhub comments

Remembering how it is. Often times after I would relapse, I would scroll down to the comments to see what people were saying about a specific video. I guess I was just so disgusted with myself that I read them to see if anyone else thought the same. Surely there was someone. But there never was.

Or maybe I went into the comments to find some humor in what I had just witnessed. Realizing that it was all rot, I wanted some relief from my guilt. I’d find it there for sure, people making fun of the sick situation. Talking like it was normal. Giving tips for things they would like to see next.

But one time, I scrolled down on a particularly nasty video. And everyone was just absolutely rotten in the comments. Except for one guy. One guy put this in a comment. It just got me good. It hit home at that moment. I really was in a strange hell. Sitting in my bathroom completely naked. Alone, in my own filth, in the middle of the night. While everyone was sleeping and living a normal life, here I was. Stuck somewhere between the insanity that is instant pleasure and unmeasurable guilt. Between the burning desire to be someone, and the animal-like instinct to be no one, nothing but an organic machine. Somewhere between having fun and going too far. No control.

It really is a strange hell. One I never want to go back to.

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