Can't focus on work, Girls and Thoughts constantly distract me

Hi guys!

First of all thanks for all your support. I’ve been trying to reduce my fapping to once per week (used to be 4-5 times per week usually weekend and beginning of week).
I’ve already seen an increased sex drive which now becomes a problem. I constantly get distracted by hot girls on the streets and everywhere. I feel so horny that it’s hard to focus on work and being productive. Even at home I fantasize about sex. Even during meditations those thoughts cross my mind. All I wish for is the weekend to come to try get a girl and if not at least blow my load. But as soon as I did that it’s hard to stop there, usually it becomes 2-3 times after each other.

What can I do?? How do you guys handle these urges?

My goal is to not only get hard from porn but real sex and since I’ve heard it could help hairgrowth, I would like to achieve that too.

Thank you all for saving my life and bringing me my sanity back, those girls make me crazy.

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Hello!

I’m from sao paulo!
Well, you need to understand that after contact with pornography and masturbation that desire will always remain in you, I struggle with that too.
You need to change the focus of your mind, cold baths will help you with your body, calm music will keep you distracted and epic books like Homer’s Iliada will help you channel sexual impulses to other things. Weary your body, occupy your mind.
Write a book, I’m doing it, and write here every day too.

Do not forget if you are a Christian to keep a constant confession of the act and fasting, prayer and reading the Biblical word daily.

Fight friend!

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Hey @qwertyasix we all know the struggle. The thing is, certain triggers (women in public, being alone, boredom, coming across sexual ads etc…) will always be there. The question is what you do about it.

Quite often, what PMO addicts do is they look at women but they are not seeing people. Instead they see body parts. They see boobs and/or ass. They are seeing objects, not people. So you see a women in public, you see body parts only, start thinking about sex and then your thoughts go on autopilot, further engaging in sexual thoughts.

It’s not easy but what I’ve found useful most of the time is to personify and be present. When you see a woman that triggers you, try to think of her as a human being: She has a mother, father, maybe brothers or sisters. She has hobbies, goes to work etc. She’s not just her body parts. Be present in that moment and watch your thoughts, be mindful of your breathing. Don’t look at that woman for too long and start looking at what’s around you (sky, buildings, trees, whatever…). Focus on your breathing again.

Take care.

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Desire is ok. Drive is ok. Being horny is ok. Getting boners randomly is ok too, as long as they are not results of fantasies or pornography. But fapping and/or porn, HELL NO. You need to be more serious about NoFap. From your post, I figure that you are not. You wanna blow your load once a week? Don’t do it buddy, most of us started out that way. quit for life. Channel your drive to something different, like getting actual girls, working out, doing something creative, working on projects, making money, getting an education, whatever you want to do. The urges will go away.

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Thanks neetwarrior for your advice. I hope to raise the bar once I’ll be able to stick to once per week and eventually make it always. But as far as I’ve heard it’s important that the sperms will get out of the system after a while to produce new ones. Some say 1x/week, others 1x/month. And as long as I don’t have a girlfriend, I have to do it myself.

And isn’t it quite difficult to last during real sex when I’ve been on nofap for a month? I feel like I couldn’t last 5 minutes…

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Sperms get out of your body normally and regularly if you have an excess of them-wet dreams, and urinations (just a little bit at a time). Your body knows what do with the sperm. As a student of biology, I can tell you with confidence that unused sperms degenerate in your system normally, inside your vas deferens. A sperm cycle lasts around 64 days. If you fap weekly or monthly, your body has to actually put in efforts to make more sperm. Don’t give yourself that excuse. Some people religiously follow sperm retention, as they believe in its benefits, but I’m not so sure about that, and just care about keeping away from masturbating and porn forever. I know one thing for sure - that it is completely unnecessary to get your sperms out by masturbating. Your body will naturally so it for you, by various methods.
And as for the performance in bed, there is absolutely no scientific evidence that NoFap will make you have premature ejaculations. Performance anxiety, heightened stress, overstimulation of the penis before penetration and excessive foreplay for you are the major reasons often attributed to it among others. If you last for 5 minutes during penetration, that’s around average. It could be a one time thing too. You might not have any problems at all and I’m not one to diagnose you for anything. If you regularly have premature ejaculation, see a doctor. Dude, porn has probably already affected your expectations regarding sex.
If anything, NoFap actually improves erections and help you with stamina, energy, and the discipline which you acquire from it actually helps you do better. I myself have had problems with PIED after being completely addicted for four years. Sex depends on a number of factors, like your stress levels, physical fitness, the connection you have with your partner etc. Get to your workout religiously, do running, swimming etc that give you better stamina, and lift weights. Bottom line: fapping will not give you better sex in any way, it is quite the opposite. Don’t give yourself any excuse to fap as whatever minute benefit you see in it, i assure you is ripped to shreds by the destruction and havoc it wreaks on your brain. You won’t lose anything from not fapping for the rest of your life, but you have countless benefits to gain. Think and decide for yourself, research more into the topic as much as you can, and stay awesome.

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Man thanks for that detailed answer. If you say so even as a biology student, I trust you completely. Thanks for making things more clear to me :+1:t3:

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Things be complicated

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