Hey there are some people on this site talking about it and also on other no fap forums.
here are my answers
- i got into porn arround the age of maybe 12-14.
i think i clicked on an add and found some Hentai…and got excited by that… than - i am not exactly sure how/ that happend i searched for “sex” got into thatand well here i am 13 years later …what i am especialy angry about: i got very exited about it and still remember feeling the rush. it was exhilarating …and than i was so stupid and talked with my bestfriend about it and introduced him to this bul****… well… that is what happened to me…
in short… advertisements, stupid curisosity, lack of knowledge and understanding
- There are also a view Youtubers and Psychologists talking about the deeper reasoning for porn addiction. (it is also mentioned in the easypeasy book)
so you propablöy alreadey know some of this or most of this i am sorry if you do but i knida had to go the roundabout way -.-^
what is essential for you to understand is: ALL addiction is a coping behaviour meaining we are using the substance/behaviour in order to cope with a emotional or cognitive overwhelming situation.
We learn these behaviors from parents,freinds,media socialcircles etc…
→ it is important to point this out. no one literally no one would engage in a behaviour that does not benefit them in some way! This leads to the following: everyone consuming porn and other addictive or harming behaviours does that in order to satisfy an unmet NEED.
this leads to the following conclusions:
2.1 a person always tries to satisfy their unnmet needs in the most efficient and esiest availible way.
2.2 harmfull behaviours are adapted only due to either
2.2.1. a lack of awaerness of unmet needs or
2.2.2 a lack of perceived alternative behaviours or
2.2.3 a lack of awarenss considering the harm done to oneself or another person by the coping
→ this list is not exclusive but contains the most frequent causes
FYI the oppposite of coping is considered processing: that entails *** very birefly*** the process of
A) identifiy the issue
B) feeling ones emotional response
C) understanding the implications/ reasons for your emotional response
D) deriving remedies/behaviours that would remove or adress the underlying issue
E) acting up on that understanding
F) apreciating the results of what just happened
→ this is a very brief explanation of the model and maybe now you understand more why the hell we spent most of the time in autopilot/habbit mode… doing this actively - event hiugh it is super benefical takes quite some time and energy … after all you need to willingly feel like shit to feel great afterwards-.-
2.3 one off the reasons why people tend to stick with harmfull behaviours is a general tendency of the human mind to keep a balance of Hormones and to think as little as possible
a neurobiologists would say that the biological purpose of thaught is to stop thinking oir think as >little as possible.
The reason for this is that thought itself is a very energy intensive process( see the FYI above) and takes a lot of effort —> hence it is a major benefit to be "efficient meanning: to find a way that works/solves for a type of problem and stick with it in as many cases as we can.
This explains e.g. why we have to sit down and actually put effort into solving difficult problems… we could never manage all the decisions we have to make though out the day… eg. which foot do i use to open the door or which hand do i use to scratch my head, how exactly do i put on my jacket etc. etc…
for this we ahve a subconsioucs mind that in this example expresses it self thorugh habits… once we ahve learned a behaviour works our enitre body & brian feels/thinks:
Okay you lizzards i did my job now u remeber this and deal with it imma gonna go and take a nap… see you to for the next appocalypse… rmemerb only wake me if the issue is an 8 or above you lazzy bossos
and than habbits take over but than … what if we have learned that one of our habbits is bad for us well FUCK than we need to put in twice the amount of effort. we have to actually stop performing a habit and do sth else…
buahhh that sucks… hence it would hae been better to do/learn it right for the first time BUT what if no one toguht you how to do that… well that means you ahd bad lcuk with your parents, friends, teachers and society… but well NOW you know… AND NOW you can fix it xD yey… onwards to the tons of emotional work that we will face for the rest of our lives… — we it is worth it!!! - i only put a bit of woirk into it and i have increased my lifequality quite a bit!
the second aspect of sticking with bad behaviour (the first one was general laziness of the mind) is the Hormonal level. The human body has sth that is called “homeostasis”.,meaning that once we are used to some level of hormones (e.g. endorphins like dopamine) our body tries to keep up the balance. One can compare it to how our internal body temperatur is always arround 36-38 °C. no matter how hot or cold it is outside… we actually have to shiver/dress up or move around to get warmer or cool of by applying substances like water/sweat wind etc…
→ why is this relevant you might wonder!!!
that is relevant because porn seriously fucks up our entire happieness and reward system . meaning every time we jerk off we feel great… due t a major Dopanmie rush… and our brian gets used to that… so we allways need this level of dopamine i the future — the alternative would be to feel shitty. and let us be honest noone wants to feel shitty…
hell - why would we not keep up jerking off… (well you and i know why but we had to learn the hard way …-.-) after all it feels great, it lets us forget all our troubles and we might even feel more energized afterwards or more confident… (for a short while)… etc. etc. etc…
- here you can add all the other resons people give for the supperficial benefits of porn/( ala education creativit, safe expression, loneliness etc…)
so why did you read all this massive text??
well here is why … i was bored and wanted to torture you and see how long you will keep up xP muhahaha
that is not all
i am addicted to this bullshit…
and i found that knowledge helps with controlling myself and understanding my issues…
. i ahve some theories:
what might have happend to your friend he got used t a certain degree of sexual stimulus (visual and sensational) his need for that increased withthe amouint of porn he consumed. now the pleasure he is provided with physically migth be okay BUT it might not be enough to satisfy his addicted brain since he is used to alot more stimulus and his partner migth not need that anymor eor might not want to eprform the actions etc. etc…
or as @UntiltheEnd wrote his preferences for bueati have changed and he desires more than that…
in any case if i had to give some unsolicited advice… your friend should talk to his partner about the porn issue and think about th needs he tries to satisfy by wathcing porn directly after sex…
it could also be that he is emotionally /psychologically stressed by the relationship he has or by other factors form his daily life and tries to dostract himself from them on an subconsious/habitual level…
i hope this helps-.-^ sorry for the horrible grammar-.- i am not that fond of typing acurassy and interpuntuation … -.-^i tried my best correcting it
do em afavor and let me know what you think about this kinda input i am new in this forum and wantto know wether people apreciate this kind of post or are annoyed by it
keep your streak
do not peek
now my fingers are weak xD