So my pornography addiction has gotten to the point where I am trying to find women to sext and trade nudes with. Thing is I’m married with a little one. I am struggling so hard to stay away from pmo. I feel like I can’t do it. That I’m powerless and will never become clean from this disease. It’s putting a tremendous strain on my wife because I have lost my empathy and love. All I care about is the next high. What do I do to get those good feelings back?
First we have to get rid of that thought “I feel I cant do it”. You definitely can, just need the determination to go through with it.
See, a lot of people has been in your place and successfully quit it, so if they can, Ofcourse you can…
Sext and trading nudes with is a situation I have been in personally, what I did was, just removed all the phone numbers, deleted all the accounts, deleted all the fake gmails I used to find people… Like permanently… Do it and then start the No PMO.
Powerless is something you have to work on… Whats important to you? Is it a need to change or have to change? If its have, you are definitely powerless, if it’s a need, then that need will give you all the power and motivation you need to quit.
We humans are generally dangerous when we hit rock bottom… Because we will figure things out then… But untill we hit it, we are going to dance around on the edges.
I used to smoke 25 cigarettes a day and had another addiction worser than cigarettes and I quit both cold turkey 6 years ago. I battled through the urges, the migraines, the nightmares, the shakes for 2 years and got diagnosed with General anxiety disorder. And I battled through it for 5 years almost, never felt happy in those 5 years and I finally found a way to manage it in my life a year ago… Then I graduated, with top 3 in my college from being literally the last in class, Then I quit sextings with women 5 months ago, then I stopped PMO 101 days ago, and I found the strength to come out of a toxic relationship 1 month ago… And right now, there is not one thing I can point in my life which I feel is a bad habit. And I am completely normal right now, not one thing bothers me and it was a 6 year wait for me to feel normal. So, If I can do it, you definitely can…
When we quit, there’s a dopamine low in our brain… The urges will hit, may be some other effects, its all normal… Everything u feel after quitting is totally normal… They are the signs our body is going back to normal… We will go an all time low before we rise… We need to wait it out…
All you need is to go through the troubles, thats the only way… Have the patience to wait for the good days. And the good days will definitely come.
Empathy, love and all those what you felt is lost will come back when you start putting an effort. Also again, patience is key… Just quit and wait, time will solve everything…
Well, you gotta work hard to achieve love and empathy back and also trust. You have to stop your thoughts of sext and nude exchanges. Also stop looking for girls as you are already married.
Start working on your own relationship you have. Put away your phone and take your wife on a suprise date. Talk and I mean actually have conversations with her and complement her to now and again. Tell her you love her. Buy her a secret chocolate as a gift now and then make sure it is her favourite. Flowers also a good way to go.
Learn to date her over again to change yourself to be a better man. Desire her and learn to desire her. Make her important. Go for marriage counselling if you feel the need to do it.
Build a healthy good marriage or you’ll end up divorced unhappy and no one is going to want you if you are a cheater.
I don’t wanna be a jerk but you gotta face reality. To man up and get stronger. To be the man and not the mouse or the loser. We all fight this battle to be a man and not the loser.
But you must fight not wait for everything in life otherwise nothing is going to get done. That magic wand on doing nothing and getting everything doesn’t exist. This is also not a way to lead your life by. Because everyone will lable you as pathetic instead of how you think you should be a man as your way of life makes sense.
No, to be a man is to be strong, brave, love his family and to do everything for his family and be the protector and provider of the family. This requires hard work, dedication, discipline and loyalty and personal sacrifices, but you’ll get rewarded with a wife who is loyal, loving a happy family, a happy life not perfect, but a good one at least.
Good luck and stay strong and awesome!
Happy birthday bro
Hehe not really my b-day, but thanks bro. Celebrating a year on the forum. Thanks for the read and support @Dean_Ambrose .
Good luck all and work hard and stay strong and awesome!
Maybe your “why” is not strong enough for you to go through the pain required to achieve your goals. Maybe you could try to find a new “why”, maybe it’ll make the journey worth it… What do you think?
Use the COLD Brother.
-you will rise