Britishchairs's Diary - My History is Not My Destiny

I’m worried, but I will not bow, I will not break


Day 1

It was only a few hours ago I relapsed. The biggest struggle is when I’m alone. I want to fear God like I would fear someone right there next to me watching me do what I did. Support would be great, prayers if you are willing to give them if perhaps you are of faith. This is not the devils fault, it’s my fault. I am the one who did this and I can never turn back and time and change what I did but I can move forward.

I don’t want someone in my life in the future to inherit this toxicity in a relationship. We have to deal with this now together!

Christ died for our inquities so we can have a shot and getting out of the abyss we threw ourselves into. God loves you and died for you so we might not perish but have eternal life.


I am here with you every step of the way. I will keep you in my prayers and i hope you can do the same for me. If you want go ahead and add me my code is 34bd87. If you could give me your code too I would appreciate it and we can get through this together. I wish you luck on your journey brother.

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Yeah my code is 5c7313

18 hours in I have had my first urge. When I get home it’s the worst because I am alone but journaling this helps. What I know I can do is start writing down things to get done to kill time. Keeping ourselves busy is a good way to avoid giving in to weakness.

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I think if we believe we are making progress our mind tricks us to say its ok to relapse…i think its key to keep journalling and finding a way to stay grounded…being grounded reminds you what it was like when pmo…the mind is a funny creature playing tricks on us…finding a way to be grounded is key i believe.

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