I’m finally done. If I died tomorrow, I’d have more regrets over PMO than I have with living life. This isn’t living and I have been lying to myself for far too long. PMO is exactly like a cancer that has done enough damage.
You aren’t the one getting laid in the porn you’re watching. You aren’t the one feeling the pleasure they are.
You, you are the one sitting behind your screen, with your hand on your tool, rubbing off to another couple actually enjoying what they are doing. You are not there.
Porn is another way of spitting in your face, showing you how much of a loner you are whilst others feel pleasure, and all you can do is attempt to falsely re create this with your hand. YOUR HAND.
SCIENTIFIC WAKE UP CALL
This brain neuroplasticity also operates under a dynamic of “use it or lose it.” Do an
activity more often and the brain will create neural pathways that make an activity
easier to think about and complete.
“Just as a creek bed doesn’t gouge out its course in a day, the same is true in creating neural
pathways of porn use. Repetition matters. But because sexual activity launches such an
amazing fireworks show in our brains, it takes less repetition to build these porn pathways
than it would for us to engrain cravings for other activities”.
Because porn provides a state of arousal, the brain also creates pathways that make initial
arousal easier. Suddenly, porn and sex with a partner aren’t the only experiences that are
arousing. As the porn pathways deepen, people in everyday life become objects of
sexualized fantasy, and inanimate objects, clothing, and situations not designed for sex
become sexually charged.
“Like a path is created in the woods with each successive hiker, so do the neural paths set the
course for the next time an erotic image is viewed. Over time these neural paths become wider as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. They become the automatic pathway through which interactions with women are routed. The neural circuitry anchors this process solidly in the brain. […] All women become potential porn stars in the minds of these men. They have unknowingly created a neurological circuit that imprisons their ability to see women rightly […] Repeated exposure to pornography creates a one-way neurological
superhighway where a man’s mental life is over-sexualized and narrowed. It is hemmed on either
side by high containment walls making escape nearly impossible.”
As the cords tighten, you struggle and struggle, and you may be ready to give up.
You hope that you’ll someday be free from sexual addiction, expecting to grow out of it as
naturally as you grew into it. Kind of like outgrowing acne. With each birthday, you
wait for your sexual impurity to clear up, but nothing changes. So you wait some
more, hoping that your future wife will arrive in time to help you fight your way back
But if you’ve got the idea that marriage will save you, you’re foolishly mistaken.
Your sexual decisions now will carry over into adulthood. The biggest blunder you
can make as a young man is to believe that you’re different from other guys and
“I’ve had it with this running. I’m going to fight until I drop dead or until I drop to
the field in victorious exhaustion. This is my moment to live or die.”
**In overcoming some addictions, the addictive source can be gradually reduced.
For others, the best method is cold turkey. What works best with sexual impurity? **
Answer: going cold turkey. You cannot just taper down. We tried, and it didn’t work
because we found our minds and eyes were too tricky and deceitful. With tapering,
whatever impurity you do allow seems to multiply in its impact, and the habit won’t
break. Besides, tapering down also brings with it the possibility of sexual binges that
might go on for days.
Binges crush your spirit. “I used to try to stop my sexual addiction without really
understanding what I was fighting. I might grit my teeth and do well for a while, but
then suddenly, maybe because of some chick-flick or some lustful thoughts that just
got carried away, I would masturbate. Then I would say to myself, ‘Well, since I
failed, I might as well fail big.’ I would masturbate two, three times a day for the
next week or two before I could regain the strength to fight again. I can’t tell you
how many times I’ve binged like this.”
So cold turkey is the way to go. You shut off the spigot by totally starving your
eyes of all things sensual.
Nofap is a journey, like every journey a smooth one never ever make you strong, however a rough journey will make you appreciate the destination more. That destination my brothers is what we are working towards, may god be with us.
“The road to recovery is a heavyweight bout. A boxer keeps his gloves up to protect his
face, his elbows down to protect his ribs, and his eyes focused on his opponent’s every
move. In recovery, lowering one’s guard is like begging for a sucker punch. Stop being
vigilant and the addictive habits can ease back into life and again claim control”.
If you focus on the whole staircase you will miss the step right in front of you.
Put all your focus on that next step in front of you, and make it the best you possibly can.
And the most important thing, I’ve started appreciating myself , I have started feeling good with myself again, I’ve got that weird childish happiness again, and I think people seem to notice that. That’s what some people say when you need to become a magnet.
We should ALWAYS be giving ourselves a pat on the back, and a slap on the arse, saying “You, Yes You, are damn fine!
Well done for that little cool thing you did”
Nothing is sexier than a person who makes the effort! End of story.
All in all, we are lucky fucks. I tell myself that everyday.
(I find a weird motivational kick in this quote)
Years from now, you are lying on your deathbed reflecting on your life overshadowed by PMO. If only I overcame this addiction early enough, my life could have been different.