BoomerangNebula's Diary - Volcanic thunderbolt

This addiction thrives in the dark and if you don’t live in the light then you will fall. Also you must filter all you see and be held accountable. Garbage in equals Garbage out (PMO). My advice for anyone wanting more, is to delay all of your gratification, get in a group, learn about your feelings, and learn why you do it and then most of all focus on staying sober one day at a time.

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REMEMBER:
It is an ongoing battle. Small victories are still victories. :heart:

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If you ever feel like giving up, remember:
“There are no losers in recovery” :heart:

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Set goals, and consider where you are going in life and what you really want. Don’t hide from what you truly want, in fear of failure. Give a lot of time, thoughts, journalling and writing to discovering what you’re passionate about, who you are, what you want.

Following this plan, I believe can be completely life changing. You won’t even remember how bad you are feeling now. You’ll be a new person, with a new optimism about life, enjoying each day and moving constantly forward, not backwards. You need to accept where you are now, commit to change, and make it your goal to quit these artificial stimulants.

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Yes, I have made my goal and even prepared the plan.

But what I lack is discipline. I am bad when it comes to executing the plan.

But am changing. Am trying to improve every day.

I wish the best for you too brother

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It is a journey and a process, not a sprint. Of course relapsing isn’t a good thing, but it is much better than doing it daily or multiple times a day.

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wisdom

As for dreams? I had those too, until I managed to destroy them by making shitty choices. Now I have new ones. And I’ll probably change those later on, and probably a few more times, constantly modifying how I look at myself and what I want to do in life as I age and gain experience. I know that it’s unlikely I’ll ever meet my idealistic visions, but by chasing after a goal and getting as close as possible, I can already create enormous changes that leave me more peaceful and satisfied with myself.

You seem to suffer from very a black and white perspective on life. There is no shitty life vs hell yeah life is awesome. No dreams in the dust vs dreams perfectly accomplished. You will never be “not tired” because dammit life is tiring dude. You will probably spend your entire life chasing your dreams, and they may not always be the same dreams.

And that’s a good thing. It means we’re constantly becoming better people. Constantly falling and getting back up with more experience and wisdom from the situation. Clearly you’ve had quite a few falls. Don’t just lie there thinking it’s useless to even try to get up, full of regret for the old days and wishing you had your old sense of wonder, when you haven’t even made it halfway across a road full of opportunities, just overflowing with positive impact on your life!

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Imagine the difference.

Rather than “look at me, aren’t I good?”, I could have said “I so grateful and lucky to still be on a streak. I realise I can lose it at any point. I will stay alert, continue with disciplined action, and continue to be good to myself.”

While pride is a much higher level of consciousness than fear or apathy or shame, it still isn’t in the zone of willingness, acceptance and love.

Gratitude and humility. They will be my guiding words going forward.

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Nofap doesn’t have benifits. Porn & Chronic masturbation just have some nasty negative effects. To me, this is a way better way to think!!!

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It’s also interesting that for the first time I could sit with the fleeting feeling of being turned on and recognize it for what it is. A mere bodily sensation, for which I don’t have to do anything. It’s a powerful way to break out of this habit loop.

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MOTIVATION

Shout-out to everyone making progress that no one recognises because you never let anyone see your darkest moments. You have been silently winning battles and transforming yourself, be proud of every step you are making in the right direction. Keep going because you got this.

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These are powerful thoughts you’re sharing here brother! Thank you for finding these!

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“It is easy to do permanent damage when you are temporarily upset”.

Rise and shine!!!
Keep smiling :slight_smile::slight_smile::slight_smile:

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Dont fight the urge to masturbate…fight the nature of lust and stop being a lustful person. Took me years to understand the true enemy is lust.

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Ok I’ve made it this far and tbh I was feeling great. However I’ve just had a wet dream where I’ was watching porn in my dream. That’s crazy that it’s so embedded in my psyche that my brain has tapped into it whilst asleep to get it’s fix. It was the exact sort of video i watched before…

Back on the wagon from here, nothing I was at fault for because I’ve not even so much as peaked in nearly two weeks.

I see this as the last remnants of the addiction leaving the system.

Let’s go again. Stay strong people.

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Sometimes life drops shit on your path, remember two things : first, it’s probably not your fault, but more importantly, second, you are responsible to take a good care of yourself and move away from shit. :heart::heart:

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Your diary is a river of good thoughts and inspiration…

Always keep flowing…

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Don’t kid yourself. It’s okay to not be mentally strong enough to resist the urge when it’s right in front of you. But placing it right in front of you and thinking it’ll be okay is stupid. You’re asking for a relapse at that point.

Watching porn or edging would be more like gargling vodka, and pretend it’s fine because you are not “drinking” it.

I fell into that trap countless times.

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Too many on here spend lots of time reading through the posts and talk about how they’re going to stop forever but fail within a week, then post again how they’re done with it now, and repeat this cycle. Instead they should be spending their time learning about the science behind why they’re addicted and what is driving them to continue with the addiction. Learning the science is empowering, and removes the allure of porn.

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Each one of us has his own journey, but the main point is even if we need to reset the counter multiple times it in no way means that we failed the journey.

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