So this is my 30 th day in this journey. So To celebrate it I am staring a diary. I will try to like post daily.
Date - 24 Jan, 2022 ( Translation is given below)
Writing something about myself.
मेरी कहानी कुछ ज्यादा खास नहीं है लेकिन फ़िर भी मैं ज़रूर इसे साझा करना चाहूंगा। मैं हिंदी भाषा का इसलिए प्रयोग कर रहा हूँ क्योंकि मुझे लगता है की मैं इस भाषा द्वारा अपने आप को ज्यादा वर्णन कर पाऊँगा। मैं PMO अपनी जिंदगी से हटाना चाहता हूँ क्योंकि मुझे लगता है PMO की वजह से मैं अपने अंदर कुछ लापता पाता हूँ। मेरी कहानी ये नहीं है की PMO की वजह से मेरे मार्क्स कम या पढाई मैं की दिक्कत। मेरी समस्या ये है की मुझे लगता है की इसकी वजह से मैं अपने आप अंदरूनी रुप से कमज़ोर हो रहा हूँ।मैं PMO की वजह से अपना समय, शक्ति, विश्वास , सब खो जाता हूँ। मेरा मन इसके वजह से अभ्यंतर लड़ने की आवाज़ को खो रहा है। मैं अपनी पहचान और अपना अस्तित्व नही खोना चाहता। मैं इस यात्रा पर जितनी बार भी गिरूँ पर ये निश्चित हैं की मैं कभी हार नहीं मानूँगा ।
धन्यवाद,
जय श्री कृष्णा।
My story is not very special but still I would like to share it. I used Hindi language in the upper para because I felt that I will be able to describe myself more through this language. I want to remove PMO from my life because I feel that because of PMO I find something missing in me. My story is not that because of PMO my marks are low or I have problems in my studies. My problem is that I feel that I am weakening myself internally because of this. I lose my time, energy, confidence, everything because of PMO. My mind is losing the inner fighting voice because of this. I do not want to lose my identity and my existence. No matter how many times I fall on this journey, I am sure that I will never give up.
Thank you,
Jai Shree Krishna.
Date - 10 April 2023
Hey Everyone, I have been on this forum for quite a long, Today I felt like sharing some parts of my PMO addiction, I got addicted to PMO in December 2019, I remember clearly it was December and I masturbated the first time I was so afraid and worried what just happened and like what was that, I cleaned it up and went to sleep, out of curiosity I started doing it again and again, and in just some months it wasn’t a habit anymore it was an addiction and if you read the upper para I told there I felt guilty doing (still I feel it), and it affected me more mentally than physically, it changed my perspective
of viewing people. I
Fast forward to 2023, More than ■■■■, I discovered Fantasizing which is the worst thing because when there are times when you want to think normally and simply but the brain goes twisted and starts fantasizing which makes your guilty subconscious gets on and from outside you look normal but from inside you feel like dying and asking for help. I felt this thing again and again. I felt like dying and crushing my brain for giving me such mental pain from the things it has given. My pathetic mind starts to fantasize about people whom I respect so much, I feel suffocated even thinking these things, Putting those people in awkward unreal situations, I tell my brain to stop but it doesn’t stop I remove these thoughts but my brain brings more of it. I tell my mind this is fake but it doesn’t accept it. I hope this phase ends soon.