🔥 Ash_Matt's self-improvement diary

I am a facultative-vore. Depending on what I find tasty, I eat :laughing:
But yeah especially whole chicken. For bulking.

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hearing that first time

damn :skull:
be limited to food products only

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yes of course :skull: :skull:

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Same here lol. I was about to search that on google.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

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It was a figure of speech.

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Soli Deo gloria

Day: 24 Jan

CS: 1d 14h


Morning Gratitude:

  1. I am grateful for the local gym I can use
  2. I am grateful for the clean-up staff who work tirelessly to keep my surroundings clean
  3. I am grateful for God who loves me and takes care of me

Quitters make excuses. Winners make improvements.


Focus tasks

:red_circle: Focus goals :orange_circle: Priority tasks :yellow_circle: Other tasks
Cover the important topics from Upper Limb (Anatomy) Do neck exercises Publish another chapter of my story
Complete topics- Heart and Lungs (Anatomy) Eat 2 eggs Work on both my stories
Check with the college about some travel schedules

:red_circle: MUST be completed by the end of the day
:orange_circle: MUST be completed before relaxing at the end of the day
:yellow_circle: It is good if I can complete them

I’m going to do this. I AM GOING TO DO THIS.


Night time reflections


Challenge of the week reflection (Zyzz):

:white_check_mark: Hell yeah we go jim bois. You mirin brah?


Challenge of the month reflection (The Wise One x The Author):


The Habit I am currently working on

  • Actively choosing discomfort. I will do three things that make me uncomfortable today.
  1. I will go to the library today. I’m going to go there and study.
  2. I will dopamine detox even though I don’t really want to.
  3. Buy and eat fruits. No more junk food.

Planning tomorrow


Miscellaneous

Trepa trepa trepa…


Peace out,
Flame on
:fire:

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Noice ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

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Interlude

Self-reflection

You don’t have to read all of it. It’s more self-reflection for more. But yeah, its cool if you do though.

Shit man. I’ve gone ahead and ruined it.

It all began with some poor decisions last evening. First of all, I decided to decided to leave the library early, around five, because I didn’t feel like studying anymore. Plus, I had set up a coffee date with a senior, so I did not want to be late for that. But once I leave the library, I lose all motivation to go back, and I just want to return to my room and waste time.

But then after the coffee (which was good, I enjoyed it) I should’ve gone back and done something productive. Or if not, I should have rested at least.

But I didn’t.
I saw my friends playing basketball, and decided I’ll just go watch.
Obviously, they wanted me to play, so I ended up playing anyways. I wasn’t even dressed for the game- I was still in the clothes I wore to the library, but since I wore my kyries today to the library I decided to play anyway.
I know why they’re not my basketball shoes though, now. Cause those shoes are hard as hell, I should stick to wearing my basketball shoes when playing basketball.

Now, I’m not saying there is an issue with playing basketball. But there is an issue with not knowing when to say no. I knew that yesterday morning was a hard session at the gym, and that my body was tired, but yet I pushed it even more.

Things only went downhill from there. After basketball, my friends and I went out for sodas.
Now I have been abstaining from junk, this was one of the few times I’ve actually had carbonated drinks since I came back to college, and I don’t know, the dopamine was too much. Like an idiot I felt high on that (since I have been dopamine detoxing regularly, even things like that make me happy) and went on a soda binge. I had a virgin mojito and blue lime soda with them, but even then I was not satisfied. After they left I bought another two small bottles of sprite and chugged those as well.
Pathetic.

Didn’t even eat dinner, I was simply wasting time after that.
I decided to stay up and work on my story anyways, I wanted to finish it and get it out as soon as possible. So I stupidly ended up staying up till 12 to work on it. I finished the rough draft, but of course I still need to review it, and now I was sleeping late.

This means today I woke up at 8. Like a loser.
I simply opened my phone and scrolled through reels. For a good ten minutes. Like what the hell man :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: I know better than to do this.

After that I saw some sexual thumbnails and stuff, and now I am feeling the urge, it is like a feeling of urgency that is coming from my nuts, like they are waiting for action.
Well, no, I’m not doing that.
I didn’t even hit the gym today- my body is too sore from yesterday. Nearly all my muscle groups have DOMS, but that’s okay, I just should’ve gone to the library.
What a damn waste of time.

I’m worried that I might relapse after this, and more than that, I’m pissed off about the last relapse. Because ever since then, my self-control has plummeted. I am giving myself cheap dopamine, and because of that I am not enjoying anything as much anymore.

To hell with that.
No more. NO MORE.

Changes I am making:

  1. I have unsubscribed from the few non-self improvement/basketball/spiritual related YouTube channels I used to follow.
  2. I am keeping my laptop away from my desk, using my iPad instead. I always tend to waste time when using my laptop
  3. I will clearly define my everyday dopamine detox

Everyday dopamine detox rules for a better life :white_check_mark:

  1. Do not use useless socials like snapchat, tiktok and so on (Don’t worry guys, I’ve never used tiktok, and I deleted snapchat a few weeks back)

  2. Only use Instagram for a maximum of 20 minutes a day, for productive purposes only. Which means for reels and to contact friends. I can’t access reels on my phone, because they are blocked and I can’t disable the blocker short of factory resetting my phone, which is why I barely use Instagram once every three days or so. But either way, I will set this guideline.

  3. I cannot use any dopamine source till 8 pm STRICTLY. Which means, I cannot watch any YouTube video at all unless it is for studying/self-improvement/basketball practice. I have been doing it these past days, I don’t have the desire to watch random YouTube videos anymore, but I begin to lose self-control around 7 pm most days, which I want to extend to 8 pm. No movies or tv shows or YouTube shorts OF ANY FORM till 8 pm.

  4. No soft drinks, no junk food. I will eat healthy. I will only allow myself one soft drink, one junk meal per week. No more eating chips or other salty foods more than twice a week, I will take other alternatives. I must eat fruits at least once a day.

  5. Do not spend any day without some form of physical exertion, unless I have a valid excuse, such as exams going on the following day, or (as in today) I am recovering from DOMS and I need my muscles to rest. But even if I do not exercise, at the very least I must spend 30 minutes doing stretches.

  6. Meditate for at least 10 minutes everyday. I have been trying again and again to instill this habit, with varying degrees of success. I need to apply it.

That’s it for now. I feel a bit of a headache coming on, but just to conclude, I’ll post my learning experiences here.

What I learnt so far in my first actual year living in 2023

  1. DO NOT PUSH YOUR BODY BEYOND ITS LIMITS. I know my body’s limits. And it is better if I reduce the intensity of a workout, so that I can come back the following day, than forcing myself to workout and then missing the following two days.

  2. CONSISTENCY ALWAYS BEATS INTENSITY. It does not matter if I have a very tough workout, if I do it only two days at the gym. It is far better to do less intense workouts, five days a week.

  3. KNOW WHEN TO SAY NO TO BASKETBALL. From here on, unless I am dressed to play- that is, dressed in my playing gear, WITH my basketball shoes on and NOT some random shoe on, I will NOT play basketball in my hostel court. Even if the day is free, the very least I can do to respect the game and my opponents is to change into my playing gear and join them again, if I really want to play.

  4. NEVER LISTEN TO THE LITTLE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU TO TAKE LIFE EASY. Easy is for suckers. This whole downward spiral began because last Saturday, I knew I had spent my week very well, so my brain argued that it was okay to binge and enjoy the weekend, I had earned it. That was a life. No more cheap dopamine for me. Boredom is a VERY reversible state of mind.

  5. IT IS COOL TO BE ALONE. When the people around you are toxic, it is better to be alone. It also creates a sense of energy and mystery around me that I finds attracts girls. Before I went home, I wasn’t as much as a man as I am now. I really am stricter to myself now. I don’t care about the fellows around me who are wandering aimlessly and looking for pleasure. I have greater purposes. I don’t give a shit about what others think, unless I respect them. A lion does not draw an insult at the judgement of a sheep. In fact, just yesterday, one of the senior girls told me I had gone home and boy and had come back a man. Heck yeah, to GODLY, POSITIVE MANHOOD.

  6. STAY CALM. Be cool, there’s no need to keep being energetic and talkative. Sometimes I don’t need to say much. I will just be myself.

Sheesh that was long :joy: but I’m done for now. I have the rest of my day to rock, after all.
Peace out,
Flame on,
:fire:

OH and in case you’re wondering and didn’t want to read this whole post.
Yes, I’m pissed at my lack of discipline.
No, I didn’t relapse.

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Ikrrrrrrrrrr.
I stupidly played full court matches three days in a row last week and my legs and feet were dead for a couple of days :joy:.
Playing is fine but know your limits. I fell sick probably because of overexertion, and yeah midnight snacking also played a role for that.

Damn :joy::joy:. Have felt that so many times, that friggin compulsive feeling. But bruh hold on, the frequency and intensity of it decreases to a great extent in few days.

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Hello @Ash_Matt

Are u indian ?

Your timezone is showing same as mine

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I stopped saying this but…

That’s what she said.

I am feeling weird after using this sentence again :sweat_smile::joy:.

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Oh shit man :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:. Awesome :fire:

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yesh. But good you didn’t fap or anything. That would be 1000x worse

:saluting_face:

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Yes, I am

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Soli Deo gloria

Day: 27 Jan

CS: 1d 18h


Morning Gratitude:

  1. I am grateful for the college library which allows me to study well
  2. I am grateful for Christian music artists who make songs that are more focused on worshipping God than seeking acceptance from people
  3. I am grateful for the really tasty food my mom made and sent for me in college

It is okay to fall. It is not okay to stay down


Focus tasks

:red_circle: Focus goals :orange_circle: Priority tasks :yellow_circle: Other tasks
Cover the important topics from Upper Limb (Anatomy) Do neck exercises :white_check_mark: Check with the college about some travel schedules
Complete topics- Heart and Lungs (Anatomy) :white_check_mark: Eat 1 egg Work on both my stories

:red_circle: MUST be completed by the end of the day
:orange_circle: MUST be completed before relaxing at the end of the day
:yellow_circle: It is good if I can complete them

I’m going to do this. I AM GOING TO DO THIS.


Night time reflections


Challenge of the week reflection (Zyzz):

:white_check_mark: Hell yeah we go jim bois. You mirin brah?


Challenge of the month reflection (The Wise One x The Author):


The Habit I am currently working on

  • Actively choosing discomfort. I will do three things that make me uncomfortable today.
  1. I’m going to talk at one of my Bible study groups today. Not exactly something I’m uncomfortable with, but not in my comfort zone either.
  2. I will eat all my meals from the hostel today, even though I don’t want to.
  3. I will sleep by 10 pm today

Planning tomorrow


Miscellaneous

Wasting too much time these days. I am quite busy but also being undisciplined, especially with my dopamine detoxing, which is why I was not updating the diary for a bit. But I will work on getting it back to the discipline I had before. Never quit fighting.


Peace out,
Flame on
:fire:

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Yes exactly :joy:. I recovered quickly because of that.

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Soli Deo gloria

Day: 28 Jan

CS: 0d 16h


Morning Gratitude:

  1. I am grateful for the HTTYD franchise that made me fall in love with music
  2. I am grateful for amazing score makers like John Powell
  3. I am grateful for the my friends who came back to college today

You can’t beat someone who never quits


Focus tasks

:red_circle: Focus goals :orange_circle: Priority tasks :yellow_circle: Other tasks
Cover the important topics from Upper Limb and Thorax(Anatomy) Do neck exercises Sleep by 10 pm
Complete topic Gastrointestinal System (Physiology) Eat 2 eggs Work on both my stories

:red_circle: MUST be completed by the end of the day
:orange_circle: MUST be completed before relaxing at the end of the day
:yellow_circle: It is good if I can complete them

I’m going to do this. I AM GOING TO DO THIS.


Night time reflections


Challenge of the week reflection (Zyzz):

:x: Didn’t go to gym today (rest day) but will probably play basketball


Challenge of the month reflection (The Wise One x The Author):


The Habit I am currently working on

  • Actively choosing discomfort. I will do three things that make me uncomfortable today.
  1. I’m going to the library today.
  2. I will sleep by 10 pm today

Planning tomorrow


Miscellaneous


Peace out,
Flame on
:fire:

2 Likes