✝ 𝚍𝚎𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜

[debellator]

debellator’s Self Improvement Diary

About me

Medical student | College athelete | Musician and author
Christian
Profile Pic is AI generated image of Baldwin IV
Username is Latin for conquerer

I have moved old entries to another thread to mark the new year
Thanks <3 to everyone who guided and helped me in 2023; moving onward to keep improving myself

[debellator]

2023-12-28T18:30:00Z

It has been a while since I checked-in here.

This year has certainly had its ups and downs. New highs. New lows.

I have learned a lot this year. Accomplished some things. Tried a lot more.
Failed even more.

But with every new chapter of life, comes the chance to start afresh, but not without experience; for the blank pages of a new dawn give way to the old dusk of experience.

This new year I must be better than I was last year. Fight harder. Work better. Be kinder. Grow more and more into the man I know I must be. What God wants me to be.

This will also be the year I eventually turn 21. And enter manhood (2024)

I do not want my time as an adolescent to be wasted. I will give it all I have.
That is a promise.

[Toby]

Med school, how impressive!

[prince_king]

Well, I forgot to tell. But looks like our phoenix has rose and turned into a king.

[debellator]

thanks man. I’ve used the phoenix ideology since I joined RC. Times have changed. Felt it was time to change things up.

[The_integrous_one]

oh damn bruh . I can actually feel the change now. Ash is no longer the pheonix.

[debellator]

2024-01-01T18:30:00Z

Goals

1. General Pharmacology
2. Autonomic Nervous System
3. Autacoids and related drugs
4. Anesthetics
5. Renal drugs
6. Respiratory System

What I will be doing

1. Revising the notes I’ve made so far and improving them for exam basis
2. Filling in the gaps and working on solidifying the answers

Other tasks I’d like to complete before I end the day

1. Read at least 2 chapters of Can’t hurt me
2. Go outside and work on my basketball game for at least half-an-hour
3. Work on the first chapter of my second book, if I finish it to publish it as well

Things to keep in mind

1. Sleep by 11 pm
2. Quiet time first thing every morning
3. Work on my side-hustle

Daily check-in

Few urges here and there; going strong by God’s grace
To be answered at the end of the day:

Did I meet today’s goals? If not, why? How can I improve tomorrow?
I did not meet todays’ goal. Mostly due to lack of discipline. Especially wasted the time between 8 am and 11 am.
Tomorrow, the improvement I will make is that I will get up at 5/6 and after spending time with God I will immediately start studying. The only breaks I will take are to watch motivational reels or to write. I will not read any book except on the kindle. And I will seek to accomplish the same goals tomorrow.

[debellator]

2024-01-02T18:30:00Z

Goals

1. General Pharmacology
2. Autonomic Nervous System
3. Autacoids and related drugs
4. Anesthetics
5. Renal drugs
6. Respiratory System

What I will be doing

1. Revising the notes I’ve made so far and improving them for exam basis
2. Filling in the gaps and working on solidifying the answers

Other tasks I’d like to complete before I end the day

1. Read at least 2 chapters of Can’t hurt me
2. Go outside and work on my basketball game for at least half-an-hour
3. Work on the first chapter of my second book, if I finish it to publish it as well

Things to keep in mind

1. Sleep by 11 pm
2. Quiet time first thing every morning
3. Work on my side-hustle

Daily check-in

Few urges here and there; going strong by God’s grace
To be answered at the end of the day:

Did I meet today’s goals? If not, why? How can I improve tomorrow?
Was not able to meet my study goals, but did almost everything else. My time management has improved, but it is still not where I want it to be yet. Will work on doing better tomorrow with God’s help.

[debellator]

A quick gratitude exercse

• I am grateful for my parents, who help me in everything
• Most grateful for God, who continues to guide me and talk to me and show me what to do next; He lifts me up when I fall down; under his wings I find refuge
• Grateful for my few close friends and my many other friends who have made my college experience a lot better
• Grateful for my basketball team and our God-given talent
• Grateful to be studying in med school
• Grateful for the RC app and its many users
• Grateful for the opportunity to write and practise my side hustles

Just a quick exercise

I have changed my username for privacy reasons; kindly respect the above

[The_integrous_one]

Yoooo name change, Noice one

[debellator]

2024-01-03T18:30:00Z

Goals

1. Cardiovascular disorders : pathology
2. Respiratory disorders : pathology

What I will be doing

1. Revising the notes I’ve made so far and improving them for exam basis
2. Filling in the gaps and working on solidifying the answers

Other tasks I’d like to complete before I end the day

1. Complete reading of Can’t hurt me
2. Work out on calisthenics for at least half an hours
3. Work on the second chapter of my second book, if I finish it to publish it as well

Things to keep in mind

1. Sleep by 11 pm
2. Quiet time first thing every morning
3. Work on my side-hustle

Daily check-in

Going good with the help of God.
My productivity needs to be improved. I do not have a lot of time before exams approach. I need to work harder.
Reading Goggin’s book gave me a lot more fuel to work with. Going to push harder.

To be answered at the end of the day:

Did I meet today’s goals? If not, why? How can I improve tomorrow?

[prince_king]

@debellator

Quiet time first thing every morning

What does this exactly mean? Something like meditation?

[debellator]

Not exactly. I do start my mornings with meditation, yes, but after that I read the Bible and then talk to God. Kinda like a conversation. I tell Him about my life and ask Him about questions I may have and such. And He speaks to me, either directly or through the Bible. Prayer, basically.

[debellator]

2024-01-04T18:30:00Z

Goals

I have written them down physically

What I will be doing

1. Revising the notes I’ve made so far and improving them for exam basis
2. Filling in the gaps and working on solidifying the answers

Other tasks I’d like to complete before I end the day

1. Practise basketball for half an hour
2. Work on the second chapter of my second book, if I finish it to publish it as well

Things to keep in mind

1. Sleep by 11 pm
2. Quiet time first thing every morning
3. Work on my side-hustle

Daily check-in

I am wasting my morning.
Need to be more disciplined and intentional.
Some minor urges.

To be answered at the end of the day:

Did I meet today’s goals? If not, why? How can I improve tomorrow?

[debellator]

2024-01-06T18:30:00Z

Quick Daily check-in

I thought for sure, 100% that I would relapse today. I assumed it for a fact.

I experienced the most intense withdrawal symptoms I’ve ever felt since I started this nofap journey. Never in the 2 years of my nofap have I ever experienced urges and withdrawal this bad. I felt like this was getting close to psychological dependence levels of withdrawal.

The urges came in waves. I fought one, then after a few minute another came. Then another. Like they were trying to break me down and destroy me.

I will come clear about this : I saw a video with people kissing on it and thought about it for longer than I should have. I need to be more careful and intentional about things like that. No room for error.

The urges were so powerful, I thought I would lose for sure. Flashback after flashback. Urge after urge.

I pretty much sat down and almost decided to give in, but remembered @Rebooter81 's advise about checking forum when feeling urges. A huge part of me didn’t want to give in. I didn’t want to fail my friends, my companions here and most of all, myself and God. But I didn’t think it was possible to beat these urges.

It was only by crying to Christ for help and forcing myself out of the house that I could beat them.
I forced myself to change into playing attire and go out and practise basketball. Using up my energy in sports always helps me fight urges. Played for 2.5 hours and came back. Now writing this.

Without God, I would not have won this. For sure.
I’m so happy for the challenges I have and this forum and the people here for helping me.

Everyone has to fight their own battle, but we fight the war together.

First battle in this war. I won. I WON THE DAY.

Was reminded of Aragorn’s quote from this scene in LoTR.
(LoTR is a goated series by the way. Would recommend you read it or watch it. It’s the father of all fantasy fiction)

Aragorn's Battle Speech

There may come a day that I’ll lose the fight. But it’s not going to be today!

[Binocular]

You took the right decision today. Congratulations, you just made tomorrow easier. Keep going and always be aware of what you accomplished so far before regretting it. You are stronger than you think Ash so don’t waste that potential within you and use it fly and rise above!
I want our battle to be endless

[debellator]

You got it man
You and I are like Vegeta and Goku we will spur each other to greatness with our competition.

[debellator]

2024-01-09T18:30:00Z

It’s been a while since I checked in.

I am getting several urges here and there. Asking me to fall. But with God’s help I will prevail.

Here’s a list I saw on insta about what happens when one watches ■■■■ :

1. You’ll lose confidence
2. You’ll drown in shame
3. You’ll weaken your legs
4. You’ll drain your energy
5. You’ll lose focus
6. You’ll lose respect
7. You’ll disconnect from God
8. You’ll drown in fear
9. You’ll miss opportunities
10. You’ll be a loser
11. You won’t be able to work
12. You’ll lose drive
13. You’ll get acne
14. You’ll damage your brain
15. You’ll pollute your heart
16. You’ll become an animal
17. You’ll be a slave
18. You’ll lose strength
19. You’ll lose power
20. You’ll lose bravery
21. You won’t have wonderful dreams
22. You won’t have wealth
23. You’ll be weak in bed
24. You’ll cry
25. You’ll realised you were tricked
26. You’ll harm your eyes
27. You’ll weaken your voice
28. You’ll become awkward
29. You’ll become LESS attractive
30. You’ll become pathetic
31. You won’t know success
32. You’ll lose everything
33. You’ll let satan win
34. You’ll regret it badly
35. You’ll cry

Sacrifice a little pain now, for true love later.

Don’t drink poison just because you’re thirsty.

I was recently reading my entries onto RC same time last year, and I’m grateful for how much I grew as a person and the things I accomplished with God’s help.

Grateful for my companions like @The_integrous_one @Binocular @Sholt_Tenkerrot @The_Ambitious_One who’ve helped me since last year. And there a lot more new companions I made along the journey now as well, like @prince_king @Toby @The_Rising_One

Must work harder.
Must be better.
Must not give in.

he conquers who conquers himself

[debellator]

Gamifying my preparation for exams

Just doing a bit of gamification so that I can improve my work studying for exams.

Will also give me a nice break from the monotony.

---

BATTLE LOG

PATHOS

Health :

VIRION

Health :

TERROBOT

Health :

HERO HEALTH BAR:

---

RULES OF COMBAT

1. The combat will only last till 19th of January, 2023. After that, if I have not defeated these monsters I will have failed to win the battle; I will lose

2. Pathos has the most health and is the most deadly; if I do not deal 1 damage to him per day at least, I will lose one HP from my health bar

3. Virion works by poison; she requires an attack once every 3 days; if I do not deal 1 damage to her once every 3 days at least, I will lose one HP from my health bar

4. Terrobot requires 2 days to load his charged rifle; if I do not deal 1 damage to him once every 2 days at least, I will lose one HP from my health bar

5. If I lose all health then again, the battle is lost

6. I will update daily

FIGHT

[prince_king]

@debellator

Gamifying my preparation for exams

Just doing a bit of gamification so that I can improve my work studying for exams.

Atomic habits one of the rules Make it interesting