Ash_Matt's journal [Year of the flame]

@debellator great to see that you are in the good path. Remember its only 11, 111 or 1111 days. We have to quit it lifetime :smiley:

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Very true brother @udaCisie :100:

Another benefit I forgot to mention was deepening of my voice. Its nice to have a lower voice (for me anyway :joy:)

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Day 13

Many urges keep hitting. On a dopamine low. Keep wanting to relapse but fighting it. Itā€™s hard but I. Will. Not. Fap.
Writing that helps me affirm my decision, so letā€™s do that again.

Affirmation

I am a champion.
I do not Fap.
I do not peek.
I can control my mind, it doesnā€™t control me.
Christ is on my side. I can beat these demons.
I control my urges. They provide me extra energy.
I must work hard.
I WILL FIGHT!! :muscle: :fire:

Urge went. Still underlying, but going to go do something productive to remove it.

Rise from ashes.
SDG

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I recommend you watch this video :point_down::point_down:

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@Kaizen Thank you so much brother! You are always providing help! Do send me any more such videos if you have them!

This was an eye opener video. Till now, I was doing step 1 without any guidance- I could subconsciously feel the urge energy- but instead of focusing on tasks, I just focused on releasing that energy slowly so that I can go back to what I was doing. Here I see that the key is retaining that energy and working.

Not to be confused with anything spiritual, I believe this works due to human drive, and now I will apply it. Once I had even heard of tantric channeling (I donā€™t do it and do not advise anyone to do it) where people actually peek to get the urge and completely channel that urge into productive energy.

Thanks again bud!

Confession

Today, I did not use this method and got really bored, so I saw a slightly racy video.

  1. No nudity or anything
  2. I didnā€™t do anything in my mind
  3. No erection or stimulation at all. No dopamine even.
    Just watched the video like you would watch any other video (it was a music video(not explicit or anything)). I donā€™t think I have to reset. Guys any advice?
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Sure bro! It will be my pleasure :smiling_face:

Donā€™t even try this ever, at least not while youā€™re recovering from pmo addiction.

This is very risky behaviour. Right now this might not seem that big a deal, but the further you get along the journey the tougher it will be for you to resist the temptation. Any time you see something racy, immediately block it with your hands, and close the video/image/web page while you do that.

Also, it all starts with these racy videos, then you get cocky and donā€™t stop yourself from watching any sexual scene you accidentally come across in movies/ tv shows/ the internet. You start fantasizing in your head about sexual scenarios.
You keep getting more and more overconfident and then on a fateful day you convince yourself from taking just one peek of some semi nude/nude photosā€¦
I donā€™t think I need to tell you the rest.

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You are correct brother @Kaizen
No more racy vidoes for me. I will teach my brain to control the dopamine urge. :muscle:

Day 14

Second goal complete!! :grinning: :muscle: :fire:

Next goal is 21 days

Flame on
SDG

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Bro im back ! Lets Continue :grinning::love_you_gesture:

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Great to see you going to 21 day @debellator :smiley:

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Letā€™s go brother @nofapstar123 ! You have not relapsed. Our challenge is still on :muscle:

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Thanks brother @udaCisie your encouragement always helps :slight_smile:

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My battle with escapsim

This is not the first times Iā€™m fighting escapism. Personally, Iā€™ve had a lot of experience with it. Iā€™ve even written an article on it (which wasnā€™t published, sadly). But Iā€™m struggling with it even now.

Escapsim refers to using various means to distract you from your current situation.

Escapsim now

Especially in covid times, thatā€™s very easy to do, since it get boring very fast, just staying at home. The most common forms of escapsim are romance(movies/novels/sites), videogames and the general internet. Pornography is another means of escapsim, though not many are aware.

The world now openly promotes escapsim. For example, there are so many sites where you can ā€˜liveā€™ virtual lives online. They literally have escapsim written all over them.

So many people resort to escapsim because they naively belive that avoiding their problems will make them disappear. As someone who reads and writes a lot, the biggest struggle for me is escapsim via books. Thatā€™s why I donā€™t allow myself to read too much fiction, because Iā€™m fighting it as it is.

Fight it!

Ways to fight escapsim are to work directly at whatever task youā€™re one (no postponing), go meet some other people and do anything that reminds you that this is the real world.

Getting a dog would be nice too. I mean, I was texting a friend yesterday and she was telling me that her dog grew so fast and it kept interrupting her when she was doing random stuff. Having an active ball of energy and playfulness should help (Iā€™m also a big dog lover but thatā€™s a side note :joy: )

Many people go around with their head in the clouds in their own imaginary worlds where they are superheroes, but donā€™t care that they are acheiving nothing here.

Fight escapsim. Pornography is one of its biggest vices. People have imaginary relationships online and neglect real ones.

Conclusion lol

To be honest, Iā€™m basically venting about how Iā€™m falling to escapsim right now. Itā€™s hard. And annoying. But I wonā€™t give in. Iā€™m fighting.

And neither should you.

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@debellator Bruh we both are going strong!!! Good to see you in green zonešŸ˜€

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You too man! @nofapstar123 Dont quit! Letā€™s do this 21 days and further more !! :facepunch:

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@debellator Can You tell us about the benefits brother !
since Your exams are going on and mine are about to come.
How did Nofap helped you in studies ?

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Yes brother!

General benefits I am seeing are:

  1. I am SCARY confident. I am outgoing. Being mostly an introvert for so long, this feels great! I talk to people more, and am more welcoming, and generally just really feeling good about it.
  2. Huge energy. Not really tired anymore. I can do with less sleep and study more.
  3. Voice cracks- apparently my voice has decided to deepen again. Itā€™s annoying now, since my voice already cracked couple of years ago :joy:
  4. My eyes. Noticeable glow. Looks awesome!
  5. More focus and concentration. My exam results have also come up.
  6. Feel good about things. More confidence in general. Feel like I can do better in exams and this confidence helps a lot.
  7. Less workout, more muscle building. Excess testosterone helps.

Only things are,

  1. Iā€™m still fighting the dopaminr low. Becuase of this I am not able to be 100% productive. Meep doing alternative sources of dopamine, but urges are reducing with time as my brain gets used to it.
  2. More aggressive due to testosterone. Idk when this will wear off.

Thatā€™s about it, @rewire_user other benefits and problems are there too, but these are also there.

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Same feelings im having bro! Especially eye glow! :grinning:

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:slight_smile: thatā€™s great!

I guess I didnā€™t have it till now maybe because of peeking. This time I have no peeking and only fantasized like 3 times so far. Dedicating counts bro :muscle: :facepunch:

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Amazing brother ! @Ash_Matt
Focus and concentration is what I need,
Thanks for sharing
It Inspired me to go through it, to do best in my upcoming exams.
because Confidence matter a lot during exams.

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Very true brother. You can do it :facepunch:
All the best! Happy to help :+1:

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