I relapsed so many times, I am married 38, I think PMO is making me worse. I can’t hold erection when I am having sex with my wife. So I think I got death grip, and it makes my penis less sensitive.
So by doing this journal, I can gain control of my life.
I am LDA (later discovery adoptee). Just found out I was adopted, so it’s triggering my PMO habit. Lonely feeling, abandoned feeling, make me relapse many times. Dopamine burst make me calm but it’s bad for my mental health and I am having low motivation in life.
So this is the day#1OF NOFAP
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Good luck brother! You have strong motivation, you can beat this addiction. Keep updating your diary here. You can’t fail us. Even if you’ll have no replies, here’s always someone who read your diary and believe in you. Think day by day. Don’t think about 100 days stereak. Think only about today. You can’t relapse today.
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Day #2 relapse
Not quiting, I know I can do it
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Keep fighting! If you relapse it doesn’t mean you lost the war, only a battle. You made a mistake somewhere. Repair that mistake and fight again! Important is to not give up!
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Thanks bro for the encouragement
Thanks for the encouragement
Day #3 NoFap
Started using appblocker on my Android phone
To block chrome, VPN, other apps.
Moved my PC near my living room.
If I have urge to masturbate I will do push ups and pull ups, I think it works for me.
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Day#4 relapsed again😩
My bad, I was sick and had to be in bed and had nothing to do to make me busy.
Clue for my masturbation habit is boredom, and being alone in the room.
Day #5 NoFap
But my wife asked me to have sex, but I was not ready, because I need to reset/rewire my brain.
Day #6 NoFap 
successfully completed with no urges, I kept my mind busy.
#focusonmygoal
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It’s been a while I haven’t updated.
I didn’t have any relapse.
I had reset my brain and sex with wife is great.
My penis has become more sensitive. PIED or death grip had gone.
Ejaculation and orgasm feels awesome. I can do multiple orgasm. Feels like newly wed.
I think I want to keep nofap as healthy lifestyle.
And the great thing is I came to a point that I don’t need ■■■■ like I used to.