after the first fap did not feel the guilt…but then went on a binge and felt bad
It was same old story of me taking things lightly and not being motivated…topics shifted from the usual things on mobile phone to the porn and then it happened.
During the past 8 days…I was able to more closely notice my emotions…I was very angry in the morning for a silly reason and it haunted me till afternoon…so definitely affective control is also a problem in me…
I will now again have to go that cycle…sad…but I am motivated…because relapse is part of recovery
after this relapse two more learning points… I ll add
it is a problem treat it…it is high time
not every experience in life u should have.
never be alone in the house.
mobile to be used in living room
self discipline and plan
Every morning and affirm yourself that I will leave ot
be firm and very firm
when you are having a negative emotion take a pause.( do u mindfulness, watch comedy vids, listen to song etc.)
Bro… staying alone and having a phone… are not the reason for a relapse… atleast for me… because from past 14 days i am alone in my room and play games on my phone.
In my opinion… in order to RISE UP… we must kill ourself psychologically.
from yesterday the urges had mounted to an another level…They were very intense in the afternoon…my thoughts were taken away and overcomes by the urges… was not able to think rationally and was irritable…getting boners.
I had end up relapsing…sorry my friends and esp companion I let u down…
God please give me strength to fight back this cycle of addiction
I don’t, as in my previous relapses I am not feeling guilty but a little relieved of the mad thoughts which were going
Learning from the relapse…is that I should have taken time out did something else.( meditation, running etc.)
…