Aoshigreen's Diary [39M]

Hey bro, where were you, good to see you, missed u brothers alot…i was also in a very bad state of PMO… let’s now keep marching towards the beautiful journey of semen retention together with a never give up attitude bro.
Stay blessed. @Aoshigreen @Forerunner @Rebooter81 @Karan050 @Forodwaith @Gk-00

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Friday 18th March

Day 2 Daily login :+1:

I was unsuccessful with commitments today, but at least logging-in appeared on my conscience during sleep while I’m covid-positive, being slothful.

I’ve eaten well, rested a lot, did some things I regret doing-feel subconsciously bad about, I really wish I hadn’t done :pray:
But I used some time to play a few hymns on the piano, and keep upto some level of practice.
And I feel so much better from doing so.
Bashed out some tunes and also some slow precise learning, committing things to memory to be able to perform, while building up a repertoire.

I’ve got two tunes in Eb, that are committed to memory. Finlandia and Abide with Me.

A few in D, which can be brain freezingly similar (but I guess it’s to be expected in 4 part choral harmony)
My Song is Love Unknown,
Aurelia (O Jesus Christ remember)
And now Praise to the holiest and He who would Valiant be.

One in F - Es Ist Ein Rosen Sprüngen - which I haven’t played in a while.

The Beach Boys which I learnt from guitar memory- God Only knows and Caroline No,
I did learn Don’t Talk but haven’t revised it in a long time.

A rendition from memory of the romantic Cinema Paradiso main tune, and more importantly the less obvious autumnal tune which I prefer which I should really start learning from score.

And also Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence by Ryuichi Sakamoto well ingrained, a tune everybody loves.

There’s also a few Neil Young tunes, and an Anime tune I can enjoy playing. I know my way around, I could practice more scales and get more familiar with fingering in harmony, but also keep brushing up on what I know, and learning more hymn tunes from score.

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Saturday 19th March

Just checking in :+1:
I could’ve done better today, but made it through.
Thanks be to God :pray:

Hope you’re doing well bro @Rohitash

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Glad to see your message bro…am doing well by God’s grace.
Thanks for being there.
Pls take care and let’s keep moving ahead in this journey of semen retention.
God bless bro.

Check-in DAY 15
All good… Glory to God

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Sunday 20th March

Thank you bro @Rohitash :pray:
God bless you and keep you!

I’ve really struggled lately, and not made any efforts. Actions speak louder than words :zipper_mouth_face:

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Just keep moving in the name of God, positively bro…u can make it :+1::+1:

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Monday 21st March

Thanks bro @Rohitash
In God - Positively :innocent::+1:

Somehow made it through to now,
Thanks be to God :blush:

Just checking-in and keeping routine

Tuesday 22nd March

I made it through the day being able to sleep and wake with some peace of mind.

Thurs 24th March

It’s gone midnight and already tomorrow, Day 6.
Hope you are doing well @Rohitash

Thanks be to God for another day

I look forward to losing the peasant badge

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Yes all well bro… thanks for asking.
I have become very aloof and silent at my work place…i am unable to talk to anyone in my office. Feel scared and don’t have any topic for conversation…lot of self judgement and lack of confidence and lot of anxiety… I don’t know what to do…my life is getting and appearing very boring… though i am silent only because i lack confidence and don’t have anything to say, people feel am arrogant… don’t know what to do…even if i try to start conversation with someone, they start ignoring me…have become very needy of validation and approval of others… feeling extremely scared and dead for 8 hours in my office…these tension makes me more stressed and i end up in relapsing…pls help me bro, what to do.

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Thank you for sharing and asking for help bro, I will try my best.

If you are feeling judged by others, we should remember it is just we ourselves that feels judged. People may be misjudging or even not judging at all, but for the most part it seems like a question ourself is asking of us.

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Agree bro, and that’s how it looks like…just thinking how to get rid of this issue.

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Friday 25th March

I’m really glad to see you getting good advise from the community @Rohitash :+1:

I’m a little locked away with my problems at the moment - it’s definitely good to air them, and make some sense of them, but I’m struggling to :pray:

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Yes bro, rightly said it’s good to air the problems to our fellow brothers for advise.
Hope all well with you bro @anon67854825 just remember there is always a fulfilling reward at the end of the struggle, keep going and never give up bro…if any problem that u feel like sharing it, you can always count me in to share it, i have your back bro…God bless :+1::+1:

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Saturday 26th March

Thanks be to God :raised_hands:
I managed to tackle some issues head-on and feel much better for doing so.

Sometimes we have to die to truly live.

Sunday 27th March

I mo’d Friday morning and had been wrestling with porn the days before, with “Yes - No… Nah!” outcomes which is a reward in itself.
Clearly, viewing and teasing oneself is not rewarding, but rewiring from porn can be.

I finally went back to Mass on Saturday after having covid for a week, and not feeling gracious enough the week before - which is an err
“it is the sick who need a doctor”
I was able to have confession :+1:

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Hope u now doing good bro.

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Monday 29th March :+1:

Thanks be to God :pray:
@Rohitash thanks bro, hope you are too.

I’m absolutely knackered tonight :pray:

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Thanks be to God bro :pray:
Yes doing fine @Aoshigreen …take care

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Hi bro, can you pls suggest me as how to put the mind fixed on God instead of putting mind on materialistic things, putting mind on a beautiful girl at work place, putting mind on the outcome of the meetings or works or tasks and getting anxious about it, thinking all time and draining out energy… instead of all these it’s better to put the mind fixed on God, but the challenge for me is as how to do it…it keeps on wandering and anxious. I am always thinking but not taking action…any suggestions bro🙏

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