“Being a Christian isn’t easy, as many mainstream Christians think it is, which just baffles me”.
More than 10 years I’ve been fighting secretly. Knowing the only way out is to ask for help. Who said it is easy? Tell someone to help you and stop hiding behind a phone screen. You will never get out by yourself. If not, stop using God’s name in vain, he doesn’t tempt, he doesn’t cause you to sin, you’re doing it yourself.
You know if you plan to antagonize me, guilt trip me, and shame, go on ahead. More things to add to my list of self hatred. I’m not running low any time soon. So by all means. Keep it up. Shame me. Judge me. Mock me. Since you seem to take the platform of righteousness, go on ahead. Do it.
And secondly, what’s wrong with a female companion? Was there problem with Adam having an Eve? Would prefer if all men cut off all connection with women? Im going to be honest with you bro, we’re all sexual creatures. And whether you believe it or not, that’s the way God intended it. And like I said, whether we fornicate or not, that’s not your business. God gave us freedom to choose our paths in life. If I can’t masturbate, I may as well practice making connections with women. Or would you shame me for that? Would your rather I be a shut in? Not talking to women and have insecurities about myself and make me incontinent of myself? And if you think that I’m not prepared to have a girlfriend, jokes on you. I don’t have one to begin with. And I’ll never get one. That’s what I mean by cursed. God cursed me from ever connecting with women. That’s why I have low self esteem and hate myself. So once again, go ahead. Shame me since you seem to know so much about me already, based on my speech.
As for the advice: I heard everyone’s advice and I have put them to practice in the past. But there’s a problem. The advice always fail. Once again: cursed never to succeed. Shame me some more. Make me feel more like sh*t. I’ll atleast have more negative motivation to punish myself to breakable limits. And no these words are not coming from God, they are coming from you. You are not God. And neither am i. I’m the further away from being gravely, divine or blessed. And just so you know, I’ve never been purified gracefully. Everyday, I’m purified by fire that can never be extinguished. So please, don’t try and say that I’m damned. You sound like a crazy southern baptist.
And what do you mean by encounter? And don’t try to declare the holy spirit do anything for me her already busy enough helping those who are less fortunate enough who actually need help. Not a hollow man like me.
And I cannot break free of routines because nothing new happens. There are no wars to fight. No dragons to slay. No demons or beasts to hunt. I live in a boring life where everyday is the same. No change. Nothing. Again, cursed to live a cyclical life; repeating the same failures over and over again.
And me? Justify my self on God? Are you out of your mind!? There is no justification for me! I a ****ing sinner!!! There never was any justification for me! I’m guilty of everything! Everything is my fault! Again, shame me! Mock me! Tell me that I’m a loser, a heathen. Tell me that I don’t deserve God’s grace. That I should be purified with more fire. And when the hell did I say for God to tell me to watch porn!? WHEN DID I SAY THAT!? And what room are you talking about!? I don’t have a room, I DON’T EVEN HAVE A HOUSE!!! I live in a kitchen with two other occupants! I have no privacy to myself!
But go on agead. Shame me some more. You seem to know so much about me already.
And I have accepted God in my heart already so i havr no idea what you’re talking about when saying “we accept” not “God accepts for us.”
Feeling sorry for myself? Rofl. That’s funny. I think you’re missing the point. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I hate myself. There’s kind of a difference. And I cannot rise. How can I possibly rise? And even if I DO, guess what? I’m destined to fall again. I’m always meant to remain on the ground, like the wretch I am. I’m cursed to be that way.
Courageous without week? Yeah, no. That’s not going to happen. I’m already a coward. There’s nothing good about me. I’m not strong, not confident, and, like I said, a poor excuse of a Christian. Once again, shame me since you seem to know so much about me. I can always use more self-hating affirmations for negative motivation. And choice has nothing to do with it. I WILL fail no matter what.
Me acting like a Pharisee? Rofl. No, my friend, you’re. I’m not like a Pharisee. I’m worse. And I’m going to answer the way Socrates once did. “I know nothing.” I’m a loser. Do I sound like I know it all? In fact, if I really did know the answer to everything, do you think I’d be here, trying to challenge myself? Struggling, burning, hurting? You think that’s something a wise, happy person does? No. I’m not wise. I’m an idiot. A failing idiot. That’s why I’m here.
Also, my ears are always open to God. He just doesn’t say anyrhing. I’m wide awake in a nightmare.
But hey, you know what, what do I know. I’m just a failing idiot who happens to be a Pharisee and you’re the better Christian. So by all means, shame me, guilt trip me. Make me feel like a piece of garbage that’s meant to be thrown away and nothing else. I don’t mind. I do not deny what I am. I’m a terrible excuse for a Christian. And if I’m going to be used as a paradigm of shaming, go ahead. Like I said, I’m always looking for more negative affirmations to hate myself even more and punish myself some more
Why would I ask for someone to help if I’m just going to be dragging them down to the point of them hating me? And I’m not hiding behind a phone screen. Everyday I’m going out trying to meet new people just yo get out of my comfort zone. Oh, and guess what, every one thinks I’m wierd and immediately hate and alienate me. Guess imthat means I’m a failure at socializing. Again cursed. And no one is ****ing surprised. And also, you think it makes me proud to use God’s name in vain? You think I enjoy doing So? You think that by doing that it makes me feel better? You seriously Think that I think that he tempts, and causes me to sin? Seriously, how stupid do you think I am? How juvenile do you think I am to blame God is doing this to me? I’m the one that’s sinning, that’s making the mistakes, that’s screwing up all the time. Not God. So I don’t know where you get the notion of God doing all this to me.
But you know what, just go on ahead and shame me. I am a sinner after all. And a loser. So go on ahead. Tell me I can’t be blessed by grace, but purified by fire. Go on ahead. It’s the only thing a wretch like me deserves.
Listen, i love you and care about you. I’m not judging you for self loathing because i know how it goes. But i’d like to be there for you either way. Add me, you won’t drag me down because i will help you. You just gotta have hope that you can be helped because in all reality you can.
Add me 9c971a
You can be blessed by grace, so you are misunderstanding me. I’m looking for a way to wake you up. You say you’re cursed to a cycle? Who cursed you to that cycle of failure, because God created us all, and he calls us warriors, violent fighters taking what the enemy stole from us by force. By his blood we were healed and saved. He breaks every chain. If you say you will never rise up, are you truly trusting God ? If you trusted God you would know that he WANTS you to be free. That’s the sole purpose of him sending his son. And if you say he didn’t die for you because you are a failure. Remember two verses. One, that he came for not only for the Jew,but also the gentle, like someone mentioned before. And two, Paul said he is the least of all humanity, yet God saved him and look at all the great things he did. Someone as low as him. Look in the bible, every great leader had a problem. Moses couldn’t speak confidently, Jacob deceived, Abraham used to doubt, David committed a sexual sin,Thomas doubted, Paul killed Christians, yet they were all powerful people in God. Even rahab was saved and she was another sexual sinner. So no, my point is not to mock or to make me feel righteous, I’m 23 years old and used to be bonded since getting into middle school. 10+ years in the same thing. I’m saying you cann get out and that God Wants you to get out. But you’re rejecting everything we say. Why do you reject God’s promise for You?
What state do you live in? If you live in NJ, I can introduce you to people that will really help you, and you can hang with us. We go paintballing, bowling, to the movies, etc. We don’t judge, we all have our pasts. They were there when I came out with my sin, they saw me go on to the altar this Friday. You know how embarrassing that was, for 10+ people of my own youth group, the own young adults and teens that come over my house to hang out or that invite me to their homes for bonfires and etc, to know that I was and have been bonded for years? You know what they did when I went back to my seat, they said “you got this”. Come, join our group, we’ll demonstrate you. You got this
Stop it. I don’t deserve sympathy nor do I ask for sympathy. I’m the scum of the earth. Just like @leandr45 says. I do this alone. If I can’t connect with in anyone in real life, then I will love alone, fight, and for alone. If the world doesn’t want or need me, then I don’t need the world.
Sigh. I guess ill have to do this again. So here we go.
just because I CAN be blessed by grace, doesn’t mean I AM blessed by grace. Every day is like walking through an emotional furnace. Doesn’t feel blessed to me.
I know God has cursed me because he upset with me. I have sinned against him and he is punishing me for it. Because of this, no matter how hard I try, I will always fail at everything, whether it be at work, self-improvement, socializing with people, especially women I WILL always fail. He’s punishing me because I’m a sinner.
I am no warrior. I’m a coward. There is no great war to fivht. No dragon to slay, no demons or beasts to hunt, like I said before. There is no one to fight in this life, but myself. And believe me when I say this. If I actually had the ability to split myself and to fight myself, I would do the most brutal and unspeakable things to myself because of what I am. But let’s make one thing clear: I am no warrior. I’m just loser who works at a gym, handing towels.
I may be saved, but I’m not worth saving. I’m a lost cause. And no I’m not saying I don’t trust God. I’m saying that he’s showing me no sign of change or an alternative conclusion every time I FAIL. Like I said. Every days is yesterday, repeated. And already established that he gave us all freedom because he loved us so much. Yet for some reason, I am not free. I have no power within myself. Like I said, I am nothing.
Jew or Gentile, it doesn’t matter. I am not part of the picture. And as for Paul, God bless him and God res his soul, but I’m the least of all humanity. He atleast had some sort of divining intervention. I didn’t have any! I had nothing that would change my life for the better. Everything in my life is just getting worse and worse and boring and more boring. I will not be remembered like any of the prophets were in sacred text. Like I said, I am no one.
You really ought to mock me. Like I said, I don’t deserve sympathy. I’m a poor excuse of a christian. And I’m a lost cause.
and if God really wants me to get out, all he has to do is tell me how. But he hasn’t said anything and I’m low on patience, which is why I think I am a problem. Unless he actually says something, I’ll never be free. I’ll always be stuck in my own prison. I am my own demise.
I’m not rejecting any promises that God gave me. He just hasn’t said anything to me.
And I prefer not to say where I’m from. My presence and existence doesn’t matter. I’m a hollow man, after all. And no, if I’m going to do any outdoor activity with anyone, I prefer to be in a sort of Fight Club (I know I’m not supposed to talk about It, but I’m breaking the rules) or UFC enviornment. Too long have I tried to be patient t hoping for some change and it never happened I would prefer to dual someone hand-to-hand just to give and receive pain since that seems to be the only emotion I can feel. I also need it to punish myself. Workouts, running, yoga, meditation, and all the other stuff don’t cut it anymore. I need something gritty.
Also I’m 26. Pathetic, right. Yeah just goes to show you that I’m pathetic person still struggling with his life, even after earning his bachelor’s. Still relying on family, still not having a good job. Still single… that totally just gives me so much confidence in myself and in God. Unlike you, I don’t got this. I’m lost in this insane world.
Romans 8:18-21 - I consider that our present suffering are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
Romans 8:28-30 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those He predestined He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.
Galatians 3:13-14 - Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.” He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit.
Galatians 3:26-29 - So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.
Hey, young christian too - it would be great to connect, sharing code 702178
Amusing to hear you pass judgement on me to think I’m not a Christian. As if you have higher power or higher righteousness. But go ahead, guilt trip me, mock me, shame me. That’s all I need for more self-hate.
Also, i didn’t come for help. I only came to answer one simple question. That was all. But go ahead. Call me an outcast, call me a slave, call me the scum of the earth. It’s not like I haven’t called that before. Call me whatever you want. I have already accepted God, albeit, like I said before, I’m a pathetic excuse of a Christian. But go ahead. Shame me. Mock me. Slander me. Why should I have any sympathy from a would-be loving and carrying company. A perfect paradigm for humanity.
What do you want me to do with these verses?
Read them, meditate on them, think about them, read them in your Bible.
Hey everyone I’m from South America and i wanted to know, had a wet dream does count as a relapse?
Already have. Only makes me feel more like sh*t. Because I firmly believe that I’m just an imposter that’s well on his way to hell. So, yeah. Thanks for that. All the more reason to hate myself. Go on ahead and laugh at me. Call me a heathen that doesn’t deserve blessings.
No it does not. You can’t control what you dream, but there are thing you can do to help reduce the chance of having one.
The word says we will be judged by our fruits. Not to be a jerk or anything, but I think this guy is 1-trolling us, 2- Being used by God to teach us how to break the bondage of any person we meet, this guy being the hardest level lol 
or 3- He doesn’t want to change, but at the same time wants to change, and is having an internal spiritual battle that is confusing him in a higher level than anyone of us were. Those are the ones God uses to glorify himself in greately. I myself will pray to see which is the correct one
What kind of things can I do?
Catholic here 
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This is a good links. Hope it helps.