I’m again on day 1 of my own extended rules of nofap. My first try failed spectacularly… I might have been too confident after my 14 day streak. But I begin to realize, that controlling the urges is only one part of my journey. The other part is that my mind is wired around looking at social media, porn etc because I have done it for years and years. My brain is filled with all the dopamine that comes with this and does not want me to give that up.
The longer I try nopfap and the more I read in this forum (which is a great ispiration btw), the more similarities I find to the buddhist way.
Although buddhism isn’t very common in europe, I am a buddhist for about three years. I have studied a lot and have regular courses. But bringing those principles practically into my life has always been a bit of an issue for me.
I do know and understand what I should do to feel better, grow and move towards enlightenment. But actually doing it is uncomfortable.
It may sound like I haven’t changed at all these last years. That’s totally not true. But a change of myself on a fundamental level is required to move further. And I think to conquer one of the most fundamental and energetic needs of any living being- the sexual need- and redirecting it in a useful way will help me accomplish that.
That’s essentially why I am here.
I restarted yesterday by visualizing my goal and my rules and I was able to grow my determination to do this. It was in a way like talking to myself- to all the different parts and needs and urges within my mind and debating a common ground.
I will use the rules as stated in my first post. The most difficult one will be social media since I used that all the time. The most addictive part about it is, that some content is only available for a short time, espacially the stories on instagram. They use that to force us to visit it every day, or better multiple times a day. My mind is not ready yet to let that go… Therefore I’ll allow myself to use it up to twice a day but only briefly. It’s not ideal but it might help me to not trying to find ways around my own rules
Allright, that was quite a long text. But writing out my thoughts is what a diary is about…
My companioncode btw is vx09ne
Feel free to add me and to write me if you like or need a friendly word. If someone is interested in further talking about buddhism that would be great. I’m espacially really interested if there are differences in our european understanding of the dharma and those of other regions.