🌟 AnkitK's Past Life (Now 250+)

1. Preface

During my current streak, many people wanted to know how I overcame the addiction and how I rebooted. Here, people were able to see only my success. Now, I will tell you the story behind it. Before the reboot, there were many many failures. I have changed enormously in the last 6 years.

Note: I have tried to not to include any trigger. But some newbies may get triggered even by plain words like “I watched p”. I request readers not to flag any episode as it can ruin this diary. This is what people wanted to know about me. If anyone faces any problem, just leave the thread and pm me instead of spoiling my hard work for virtually no legitimate reason. Have a good time!

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Contents

  1. Preface
  2. Contents
  3. Childhood and early teenage life (class 3rd to class 9th)
  4. The sudden boost in intelligence: the benefits of the vital fluid (class 9th)
  5. How did I fall into hell? (Vacation after 9th class; summer 2012; age = 14)
  6. School life relapses (class 10th)
  7. School life relapses (class 11th)
  8. School life relapses (class 12th)
  9. Initial college life relapses (1st semester)
  10. The beginning of hardcore relapses (2nd sem)
  11. Mountaineering course (Vacation after 2nd sem)
  12. Relapses continued (3rd and 4th sem)
  13. A big shock: EYES OPENED, started resisting and of course, failing after small gaps; the fight began (Vacation after 4th sem)
  14. The reaction of fappers when I revealed my resolution to them (Vacation after 4th sem)
  15. The first book about celibacy which I read (Vacation after 4th sem)
  16. Introduction to Hatha yoga and prayers to Goddess Durga (Vacation after 4th sem)
  17. Some more relapses (5th sem)
  18. Changes in the type of food I eat (5th sem)
  19. Introduction to Gyan yoga and Kriya yoga (5th sem)
  20. Introduction to Bhakti yoga (5th sem)
  21. Some Inner engineering (Vacation after 5th sem)
  22. Severe relapse during sickness (6th sem)
  23. Association with devotees (Boom) (Vacation after 6th sem)
  24. Again started relapsing (7th sem)
  25. Further research and medication (7th sem)
  26. Introduction to Rewire companion app, Stop Fap 2 app and HabitBull app (Boom Boom) (7th sem)
  27. How much semen did I waste in those 6 valuable years? And blood? Any good news?
  28. Date of the last/final relapse and the Golden sem (8th)
  29. Nofap journey in the current streak (7th and 8th sem)
  30. Benefits experienced during and after the reboot (7th and 8th sem)
  31. My weaknesses
  32. Mistakes I did during the streak recently
  33. Why don’t I want a gf?
  34. So what is the plan for a relationship?
  35. New steps taken to improve quality of streak in general
  36. Level of determination
  37. My favourite videos list
  38. The complete story in one file: AnkitK’s Past Life
  39. Party before leaving the thread

See you tomorrow!

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Great you are sharing your story here. Some people can relate to. It can be a great motivation for the people who are still fighting.

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Was waiting for this from a very long time :smiley: And you finally did it bro :+1:

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3. Childhood and early teenage life (class 3rd to class 9th)

Childhood is the time when we are addicted only to laughing and playing. I was a good student and I was always in the top three in classes 3rd to 5th. Then, I changed my school and in my new school, I was an average student initially. Fortunately, I was never exposed to adult content and related talks etc in classes 6th, 7th and even class 8th and a large part of class 9th. Even in class 9th, I did not know how children are born; I did not know the meaning of cond^m; I did not know even the slightest thing about s^x.

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Lessons:

  • The later you get exposed, the better it is.
  • Stay away from bad association.

Stay tuned. See you tomorrow!

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4. The sudden boost in intelligence: the benefits of the vital fluid (class 9th)

In class 9th, suddenly I topped the class. Before that, I was not even in the top 5. Suddenly, my energy and intelligence increased by a huge amount. I remained the topper of my class till class 10th, after which I changed my school. There is no doubt that it was due to the fact that I was on nofap hard mode unknowingly. My body started producing the vital fluid and I was not wasting it. But it cannot go on like this in kali yuga. This world is full of triggers. As soon as you hit puberty, you are bound to fall after some time if you did not get the right guidance before that, which is not given to children nowadays. All the focus is on studies etc and children are allowed to be exposed to more or less anything on TV etc. I wanted to become an astronaut but ended up becoming a fapstonaut.

Lessons:

  • The vital fluid should be conserved for a long time to set everything good in life.
  • Children should be taught about nofap before they reach adolescence. It is the age of growth.
  • Children should be kept away from a TV. They can be given access to family protected internet instead of TV. On the internet, they can pass some time for entertainment more safely (if it is family protected and personalised and supervised).

See you tomorrow!

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5. How did I fall into hell? (Vacation after 9th class; summer 2012; age = 14)

As mentioned in episode 3, even in class 9th, I did not know how children are born; I did not know the meaning of cond^m; I did not know even the slightest thing about s^x. Then came a chapter on reproductive organs in the biology textbook. I think it is okay to teach those things at that age but what they teach is not at all complete and they do not include the harmful effects of bad habits which can begin after some students do something due to curiosity. Suddenly, my friends started talking about s^x related topics. Most of them knew everything from an early age but I was exposed to such talks only in class 9th. One of the students even tried to explain to me the procedure of m in a chemistry lab. I could not understand how an organ which is used to pee, emit a white thick substance. I heard it but did not try it for long. Then, gradually I was exposed to the songs of singers like honey Singh and to the it^m songs in Bollywood and sensual documentaries on the discovery channel and what not. I could clearly understand that I get attracted to the opposite gender. It was adolescence period.

One day, a cousin of my father came to our house along with his friends. Children are attracted to phones. So, I took his second generation phone into my study room to play games. I did not know what was going to happen. I could not find any game except snake game and sudoku etc. Then, I decided to browse the memory card on that phone. Damn! I found many images of bea^^^^ul g^rls on that phone. After watching the different features of their bodies, something started to happen within me. I wanted more and more. I did not know about s^^ual intercourse. All I knew was that I am getting a strange and strong pleasure by watching those images. But somehow, I knew that such things can be watched only when one is room-alone. So, I locked the door and started drinking those images through my eyes. I became very intoxicated. I decided to transfer those photos to a spare phone (Nokia 2730 classic) which was lying in our home and was used by me for various academic and gaming purposes. I successfully transferred all the photos to my (spare) phone using Bluetooth and I could not wait for bedtime. Then at bedtime, I again wanted to get that pleasure which I never got before that day. I was room alone and my parents and brothers were sleeping in another room. It was around 10 pm. I started watching the images and kept watching until my body began to shake and I could not speak and breath properly and was almost unconscious due to extreme dopamine hits. After one hour, I orgasmed and something came out of my organ. I orgasmed just by watching and without using hands. The orgasm was quite long and it was so strong for me to handle that I could not stop screaming and I was shaking like a caterpillar. I did not understand what to do: to cry or to laugh. This was my first ever orgasm. Then, things settled and my parents asked what happened. I said that nothing happened. This was my fall-down and the beginning of my addiction. It began with soft p and as you will see later, it ended with soft p six years later. I kept relapsing in this way after every two or three days. Guys, relapsing is one of the worst things which can happen to a human being.

I request you not to flag this post as this is what many people wanted to know and I don’t think that it is a trigger. I think it is hilarious.

Lessons:

  • Adolescents should not be taught just biology of reproduction. The knowledge of nofap, the importance of nofap, harmful effects of PMO, etc are much more important and interesting.
  • Teenagers should be given right and “complete” knowledge before they become curious and start exploring in unhealthy ways.
  • There should be a graded subject on nofap in school syllabus.
  • You must carefully cut down all sources of bad songs and movies so that your innocent child does not get exposed to those things easily.
  • Do not let your child use someone else’s phone and keep your own phone clean. Be a fapstronaut yourself.
  • Feed in the mind of your child that pixels are an illusion. Your child should always recall that pixels are not real.
  • Do not keep a spare phone in the home which is better than a 1G phone. If your child needs a phone for travelling, talking etc, give her or him a 1G phone. Educate her or him so that he or she does not compare that phone with those of others. Give your child a personal smartphone after class 12th only. Along with that smartphone, give the necessary teachings.

See you tomorrow!

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6. School life relapses (class 10th)

Along with images, I started relapsing using it^m songs videos, newspaper photos, some night tv shows etc. I also started m while watching, as instructed by an old classmate. By m, more white fluid came out. I also started relapsing by lying on my stomach and then rubbing my organ against a mattress. My energy levels dropped down. I relapsed after every two or three days. Sometimes, I rubbed my organ slowly by my hand and gradually increase the speed of rubbing while imagining that some beau^^^^l g^rls are rubbing it. I started coming in less than 10 minutes. I thought that I was fortunate that I knew a technique of experiencing intense pleasure. But actually, I was unfortunate and ignorant. I was ruining my body and mind. In spite of all this, I could maintain good academic grades and remained topper in classes 10th, 11th and 12th. Maybe, it was due to the remaining energy which I got by unintentional nofap from the age of 12 to 14. Such is the power of nofap.

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Lessons:

  • Do not let an idiot box (TV) ruin your descendants. There are smarter and safer ways to entertain and teach your children.
  • If your child shows symptoms of a fapper, become alert and teach him about nofap.

See you tomorrow!

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I could not upload anything yesterday because I was busy on the occasion of Holi and Gaur Purnima.

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7. School life relapses (class 11th)

After class 10th, I decided to prepare for the JEE Advanced exam. So, I changed my school and location. In the latter part of class 10th, I was preparing for the entrance exams of coaching institutes and NTSE exam. I was preparing day and night and I forgot fapping. I fapped only once a week, sometimes only once in two weeks. It was again an unintentional nofap and it boosted my energy and intelligence. I cleared the entrance exams with flying colours but failed to clear NTSE. Then, class 11th began. I started fapping with old frequency again and hence degraded my performance. But, I still remained topper, maybe because others were fapping more and knew more about such things (and they actually did). Most of the other students were not doing intermediate unintentional nofap like me. In class 11th, I used to relapse in the same ways in which I relapsed in class 10th. Due to fapping, sometimes I got depressed due to low concentration and focus. I did not know that the root cause of all my problems was this bad habit. I tried many things like The Secret, The Master Key System, concentration improving exercises and games but nothing worked, because I fapped.

Lessons:

  • When you have a long term goal in mind, you keep forgetting fapping and start working.
  • Nofap gives energy. It doesn’t matter whether you did it intentionally or unintentionally.
  • You just need to do nofap in today’s era, and you will be among toppers.
  • Fapping causes low concentration, foggy head, depression etc. If you want to be happy, first quit PMO. If you want to know something beyond this phenomenal world, first quit PMO.

See you tomorrow!

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8. School life relapses (class 12)

In class 12th, I liked some topics in JEE syllabus and hence there were some unintentional nofap streaks. At the same time, my knowledge about s^x had increased. I always wondered how a man and a woman play with each other when they are lusty and no one else is around. Somewhere, I heard the word ‘couple’. I never knew the meaning of that word in s^^ual context. One day, I typed ‘couple’ on google and saw some images. For the first time, I got some idea about how to do s^x. But, I was still confused and I still did not know the procedure. All I got to know was that couples cuddle each other and enjoy. So, I started imagining that while relapsing. In this way, class 12th passed. I was able to get admission in IIT Bombay. I could have done it easily if I had remained a celibate. But I did it after a long struggle and pain and I had to study for more hours to understand the things. Fapping is toxic.

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Lessons:

  • Do not give your child access to unprotected internet.
  • Make a friendship with your child so that he or she asks things from you rather than searching for everything on Google.
  • Teach good things to your child before he or she accumulates bad things from bad boyz and gals.
  • If you don’t fap, you can study easily and without significant stress.

See you tomorrow!

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One thing I noticed in your story . You are getting success with fapping . And I also masturbate by rubbing my organ against the mattress . I never fap in my life by hand .

I started fapping when I was in class 8th . And from class 8th to class 10th never missed a single day .

Kabhi kabhi lagta hai mera PURA bachapan aur aadhi Jawani only mutth marne mein Nikal gai . Nothing achieve always passed 3rd division .

By God grace ek life Mili usko bhi barbad karne mein koi kadar nahi chodi .

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Jo ho gaya so ho gaya, ab aage badho.

Raat gayi, baat gayi

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Life to aj or abhi hain… Abhi bhi Tu Gama Pehlwan ban sakta hain… Tu abhi jawan hain bhe…

Teri sexual energy ek saal mein tujhe itna kabil bana denge ki… Tu fir kabhi peeche mud kar nahi dekhenga…

Keep going… Congrats for your 25th days… Little by Little … Drop by Drop… Fills an ocean…

Abhi kain maukam baki hain… Ae mere dost… peeche jo ho gaya… bhul ja… sabk le… or apni galti mat dohra… Teri kasati bavsagar ke par hogi…
Man sithar ho jayenga … Sab kuch accha ho jayenga… jidangi mein agar dukh mile … visal dukh mile… To tujhe … apar aanand bhi milenge… Tu khali nahi jayenga is sansar mein…
Tu ye zindagi… Purre mazze se or apar shakti or aanand se jeyenga…
Meri pradhana tere sath hain…

Tu chalta rehna apne path par… Main tere peeche hi aa raha hun… Tujhe girne nahi dunga… Tujhe sahara dunge… Aage badte raho… God is with you… We are with you…

Always think positive…

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Yeh message toh मुर्दे में भी जान ला दे भाई । Thanks bhai aaj। ke din Ko PURA busy karunga । thanks bhai by core of my heart :heartbeat: .

Bhai jayda toh isse liye depress rehta hu ki Isle muje side effects 3 years pehle hi pata lag. After the . But fir bhi sudhar nahi paaya . Yaha aap pe logo ne aa Aakar kaha se kaha pauch Gaye .

Kher koi baat nahi aab ek bhi din Ko waste nahi karna karna hai . Yoga, exercise ,study se life Ko wapas Sundar banana hai .

Tu taiyar reh bhai Jeet Aapni hi hogi

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9. Initial college life relapses (1st semester)

I relapsed using the same old techniques. But there was a difference. The internet speed in the hostel was much more than that at home at that time. So, I relapsed to HD quality soft p more than I relapsed to images. Relapsing in this way deteriorated my academic performance a lot. My grades were not good. High internet speed and addicted mind is a deadly combination. It can kill you from within at a faster rate. In those days, my frequency of relapsing was more than three times a week because videos made a difference. I could see figures moving and hence I got more addicted.

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Lessons:

  • High-speed internet can be dangerous if you are a p addict.
  • Fapping affects grades badly.

See you tomorrow!

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@koylakhadan

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10. The beginning of hardcore relapses (2nd sem)

The soft p relapses continued and I never knew that I was ruining myself. In the second semester, things became even worse. I was introduced to actual p^^n videos. One day, Google was not working in hostel whereas the internal college websites were working. I wanted to search for some important thing. I asked my room partner what to do. He said that he is accessing google using a VPN extension on chrome. I didn’t get it at that time. He explained a bit and I got it. Then I was able to access google on that day.

Students openly talked about p videos in the hostel. So, I became curious and typed p on google. Some websites came. This was the first time I searched the hardcore actual shit. I clicked on the top search result. Of course, it was blocked by the college. I thought for some time and then I recalled that I have something called VPN and I decided to use it. It worked and I was welcomed in hell. I started watching videos. I was blown away. For the first time in my life, I saw naked g^rls (pixels). I was literally blown and I came after some minutes without even touching my organ. For the first time in my life, I got to know how s^x is done (of course real thing is still different and not just acting and drama). I noticed that the g^rls there were more h^t than those in songs and images and I got more addicted after that. After that day, I relapsed more by this method.

After watching those videos, I developed a desire to do it in real. But I got frustrated. I even searched for prosti^^tes on google. But I never went to any because it was extremely risky to life and respect. All I got was frustration and then pixels and then again frustration. One day, I made a homemade vagi^a according to the instructions of a video. I did m using that but I got frustrated again because I didn’t last even two minutes. I was expecting more pleasure. Then I had to watch p again to satisfy myself but as soon as it ended and I came, I got frustrated again. In this way, the vicious cycle continued and I became a certified p addict. In this way, the second semester got over and I got a little better grades than last time but still not good enough.

Lessons:

  • Never use any VPN except for academic purposes.
  • Hostel students will talk about p many times. Make your child immune to such talks by providing knowledge.
  • P ruins mind. It induces demoniac thoughts and desires into the mind.
  • An addict can never be satisfied.

See you tomorrow!

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11. Mountaineering course (Vacation after 2nd sem)

At the end of the second semester, one of my classmates came to me and asked me whether I was interested in going to Sonmarg, Kashmir to pursue a one-month mountaineering course. [He is the same person who later became a devotee and saved me.] I was interested and we both registered together. I submitted fees but he decided to give it later. Later, he could not go. He said that he had some financial problems.

The vacations started and I was ready for the adventure. A week before the course, I became sick. But as the course starting-date came closer, I recovered. On 30th June, I left for Kashmir. The course started on 1st June and it was so rigorous that I forgot all p videos and fapping. We used to run 4 km in the morning PT in the atmosphere where the air was much less dense and oxygen was less. The location was 9000 ft above sea level. Then, we did about 60 pushups. Then, we walked a lot on rocky slopes to get to the rock climbing spot where we practised climbing on a rock for hours. Then we returned to camp and it was compulsory to play some sports in the evening. There were many other activities like river crossing, knots learning, ice climbing etc. I forgot p completely. I did an unintentional 15-day nofap streak on hard mode, that too with intense physical training which was much more than normal gym training. I could see new bulky muscles on my body and my stamina increased 8 times. But, after 15 days, a fapper who saved p videos on his phone before coming, was watching p in the night. And he was lying next to me. I looked at it and I suddenly remembered that there is something called p. Then I got strong urges and I also started watching. I noticed that I did not come by just watching. My muscles became strong. So, I started massaging my organ and kept watching. I came after half an hour and the orgasm was intense. On the next day, I could notice the difficulty in training activities; I became weak and tired. I relapsed two times in total during training and once after training, by watching nu^e shows in the night on TV in a hotel in Srinagar. Even after that, after coming back home I could run 24 rounds of a ground of which just three rounds were enough for me before training. The mountaineering course was an important part of my life.

Lessons:

  • When you are too busy with life and adventure, you forget fapping.

See you tomorrow!

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First of all, i am not against you or your diary…i myself read your diary daily and gives like if i find some post good. I have also bookmarked one of your posts.
I am just reminding you of a mistake in this post…

In Last you gived a Lesson… But i find it in contrast with the above story… because you fapped while doing training.

So … You may edit the lesson part or … its your wish … just reminding you as a reader and a friend.