5. How did I fall into hell? (Vacation after 9th class; summer 2012; age = 14)
As mentioned in episode 3, even in class 9th, I did not know how children are born; I did not know the meaning of cond^m; I did not know even the slightest thing about s^x. Then came a chapter on reproductive organs in the biology textbook. I think it is okay to teach those things at that age but what they teach is not at all complete and they do not include the harmful effects of bad habits which can begin after some students do something due to curiosity. Suddenly, my friends started talking about s^x related topics. Most of them knew everything from an early age but I was exposed to such talks only in class 9th. One of the students even tried to explain to me the procedure of m in a chemistry lab. I could not understand how an organ which is used to pee, emit a white thick substance. I heard it but did not try it for long. Then, gradually I was exposed to the songs of singers like honey Singh and to the it^m songs in Bollywood and sensual documentaries on the discovery channel and what not. I could clearly understand that I get attracted to the opposite gender. It was adolescence period.
One day, a cousin of my father came to our house along with his friends. Children are attracted to phones. So, I took his second generation phone into my study room to play games. I did not know what was going to happen. I could not find any game except snake game and sudoku etc. Then, I decided to browse the memory card on that phone. Damn! I found many images of bea^^^^ul g^rls on that phone. After watching the different features of their bodies, something started to happen within me. I wanted more and more. I did not know about s^^ual intercourse. All I knew was that I am getting a strange and strong pleasure by watching those images. But somehow, I knew that such things can be watched only when one is room-alone. So, I locked the door and started drinking those images through my eyes. I became very intoxicated. I decided to transfer those photos to a spare phone (Nokia 2730 classic) which was lying in our home and was used by me for various academic and gaming purposes. I successfully transferred all the photos to my (spare) phone using Bluetooth and I could not wait for bedtime. Then at bedtime, I again wanted to get that pleasure which I never got before that day. I was room alone and my parents and brothers were sleeping in another room. It was around 10 pm. I started watching the images and kept watching until my body began to shake and I could not speak and breath properly and was almost unconscious due to extreme dopamine hits. After one hour, I orgasmed and something came out of my organ. I orgasmed just by watching and without using hands. The orgasm was quite long and it was so strong for me to handle that I could not stop screaming and I was shaking like a caterpillar. I did not understand what to do: to cry or to laugh. This was my first ever orgasm. Then, things settled and my parents asked what happened. I said that nothing happened. This was my fall-down and the beginning of my addiction. It began with soft p and as you will see later, it ended with soft p six years later. I kept relapsing in this way after every two or three days. Guys, relapsing is one of the worst things which can happen to a human being.
I request you not to flag this post as this is what many people wanted to know and I don’t think that it is a trigger. I think it is hilarious.
- Adolescents should not be taught just biology of reproduction. The knowledge of nofap, the importance of nofap, harmful effects of PMO, etc are much more important and interesting.
- Teenagers should be given right and “complete” knowledge before they become curious and start exploring in unhealthy ways.
- There should be a graded subject on nofap in school syllabus.
- You must carefully cut down all sources of bad songs and movies so that your innocent child does not get exposed to those things easily.
- Do not let your child use someone else’s phone and keep your own phone clean. Be a fapstronaut yourself.
- Feed in the mind of your child that pixels are an illusion. Your child should always recall that pixels are not real.
- Do not keep a spare phone in the home which is better than a 1G phone. If your child needs a phone for travelling, talking etc, give her or him a 1G phone. Educate her or him so that he or she does not compare that phone with those of others. Give your child a personal smartphone after class 12th only. Along with that smartphone, give the necessary teachings.
See you tomorrow!