[Ambition's Diary] First post post relapse

Hi Guys,

This is more of a letter to myself rather than an open outreach to everyone. But I hope it works both ways. I have always maintained that masturbation is harmful. Wasted a good 2-3 years in actually taking that plunge, mainly because I had a lot of free time at hand.

Started on this sometime end of last year. Went in with enthusiasm, first streak ended at 5 days. Early January I realised that the way to beat this motherfucking habit is to keep myself busy. Went on a good streak of 60 days without incident. The benefits, the promised land I could see it all. I was convinced, and then this Covid-19 pandemic came and broke the system.

Anyway, I started getting a good amount of free time with nothing to do. so I went back to polishing my shaft as they say. No streak (it is pathetic to call it a streak) lasted more than a week. Broke every Friday night or Saturday morning. But over the weeks I have noticed a process to find and see those urges coming.

I think I can avoid it by

  1. Avoiding SOME (3) apps completely. (I don’t know if there is an app that lets me not download/ restrict downloading those apps
  2. Exercising regularly. Taxing my body
  3. Spending 2 hrs. daily in doing something goal oriented
  4. Reading
  5. Writing a post/Quote out here. I hope to outrun the quotes before ending my streak
  6. Meditation to tie it all up. This is something I have not tried, because I think my mind is a bit untrained for this. However, I am going to give this a try

So why this long post…

For accountability
For comradarie
Because we are History’s middle children and our great war/our depression is demons inside us
demons fed by constant sugar bombs in our food
demons fueedd by sexual content easily at our finger tips!

We are in this together
The developers

Now the shameless plug:
I will also be doing some accountability exercises on twitter and will need your feedback and additive comments out there.
So follow me @AmbitionClarity [You’ll see a bulb on the profile pic. You will also notice, I don’t sell anything to my 27 brothers and sisters out there.] So hit me up.


You can use BlockerX to block any keyword, website or app on your phone. It will not let you open the apps that you specify, and it will block your screen and close the app when a blocked word is displayed on the screen. Sometimes it’s a bit sensitive, because no spaces are required for a word to be blocked, but it works well generally.

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