Alex's Diary [20M]

Hello everyone, I am new here and want to tell my story first.

I started masturbating when I was 10 years old (some may think thats not possible but it is and I’m really ashamed of it).

Its been 10 years of continuous masturbation varying from 8-10 times a day to once in a week but everytime after relapsing I wish I had died.

My longest streak was of 64 days when I got a girlfriend but relapsed when broke up. This 10 year habit has snatched every opportunity from me ruining my school life and relations with friends.

I am skinny, short (5’3), introvert, underconfident, frequent mood fluctuations, basically i just hate who I am. A girl on whom I had a crush for 2 years rejected me because of short height and that just killed me from inside. Sometimes I think this 10 year habit is the cause of all this and I deeply regret for not stopping earlier. My childhood friends started ignoring me when we all grew up because they are now perfect and I’m just an addict.

I recently learned about this app and started my journey but did that again the next day so now I’m here starting my diary so that I keep myself engaged in something . I don’t know how this will go but let’s hope for the best.

Quitting porn is not a big deal for me . Masturbation is the main problem . I don’t know everytime I decide of quitting, my hand automatically goes in my pants and then just boom im done.

Goals-
Quit masturbation
Become muscular and healthy
Have cleaner thoughts
Boost confidence
Increase height(height after 18 not possible but still ill be hopefully)
High self esteem

I will write down my thoughts and what all I go through everyday.

Just need your support.
Thanks

My code- 1pnr0q

7 Likes

I’ll always be here for you bro. If you ever feel urges or uncertain about what you’re feeling, you can always talk to me.

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Welcome bro… You have come to right place… we all are in this together. You are not alone… we all are trying to recover our everything.
We all are going to be successful.

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We are all with you man. Iam 20 years old as well, this is the right and only time for us to transform our life entirely and become our best version. You can do this!
Together everything becomes much easier. I suggest you to read the book ‘Cant hurt me’ by David goggins. It is about a man who touched rock bottom in life like us and then became the touchest man in the world, chief of US navy seal, broke world records etc through sheer hardwork, pushing limits and striving through pain by giving 100%
Currently Iam reading it and the it is drastically affecting my thought process and life. I highly recommend it. I want to thank my brother @edistoretto who suggested this great book to me.
Then you can also read
Extreme ownership by Jocko willink and Discipline Equals freedom bro @alex7670. These books are also suggested by @edistoretto
All the best for you in this journey man. Don’t hesitate to contact us if you need any help or support

4 Likes

Thanks for the support @Tagore @NoFapNoDepression @Sahas … we will surely win this battle!
And I will definitely read that book @Tagore

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Okay so today its 06/09/20
I’m making a list of things which I will be following from tomorrow and update everyday if I did it or not.

Wake up at 6:30
Meditation and affirmation
Read news
Study
Stay positive
Kill your urges if any
Workout
Hanging for height (crossed fingers)
Show gratitude
Drink more water
Healthy diet
Read some book
Eye exercise
NOFAP

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Today 07/09/20

I couldn’t follow the things I planned yesterday.
Not even a single thing. But I didn’t fap even if I was having urges . But I’m a bit stressed . I hope I fight it well