Day 1
I experienced a very strange and scary feeling today. deep sadness, deep anxiety, deep horror, deep regret. It was a mixture of bad feelings that I would never be able to describe.
I don’t really know if this a withdrawal symptoms. But I think this a result when you try to dive really deep in this dark world looking for extreme extreme extreme pleasure and dopamine.
I am writing this because I don’t want to forget this feeling. Rewiring is hard, it is super hard, but it is 1000 times better than experiencing this dark feelings. I hope I can remember that forever.
I have made many horrible things to my self because of this addiction. this addiction affected my health so badly. I have two diseases currently at the age of 28, and I am 100% sure it is a result of this bad habit.
But I need to forgive my self. We are human, we tend to make mistakes, right?
Ahmed “my self”, I forgive you, I really do, and I am actually very proud of you. you are not a bad person. you were trapped into this world when you were a teenager. You are not responsible for your addiction, but you are definitely responsible for your recovery and rewiring.
Come on man. You have a beautiful life waiting for you, let’s do it.