After relapsing on 46 days in 2019, thank GOD I'm now 50 days PMO-free! Here's how I did it

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@TheWillToLive Thank you my friend!

Yes, it is difficult to identify the root cause behind the addiction. I only discovered mine about 2 months ago after 13 years of addiction - step 1 of my new strategy. I ended up writing down about 7 pages - I knew I’d found the answers when it brought tears to my eyes. I’ll share in my day 90 post for anyone interested, but the main problem was very poor self-esteem and self-image, coupled with religious regret as a result of starting PMO in the first place. I believed I was a sinner and that I deserved to suffer, so that justified PMO relapsing continually since I felt trapped in that self-image.

I’m Muslim brother, but I have great respect for the Christian faith. I’m currently reading through the Bible for the second time.

I’ve found that GOD does give me strength to overcome the really challenging urges, but they are never removed from me. As I see it, He has already given everyone of us the freedom of will to decide what we choose to do in any given situation. It’s up to us how we act. No temptation is so strong that we must submit to it, and we are not given anything in life we cannot bear. Sometimes our experiences are tremendously terrible, so that is a testament to just how much we can handle! We’re much stronger than we think we are.

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Thanks for sharing your story.

Sorry, I thought you’re a Christian judging from some of the verses here and there. I was raised a Christian, now not religious anymore but I respect all religions. As they hold similar fundamental truths.

“I believed I was a sinner and that I deserved to suffer, so that justified PMO relapsing continually since I felt trapped in that self-image.” I had a similar period of time years ago. Some (toxic) religious indoctrinations can damage people’s self esteem.

From what I understand from Buddhist teachings, no human beings were born to suffer. They just get sent to planet Earth and get exposed to life. Life itself is suffering, haha. As a result, (WE) all suffer - if that makes sense :stuck_out_tongue:

Respect, brother.

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I agree, we’re not supposed to suffer here in absolute misery. That line of thinking reminds me of Jordan Peterson’s speeches on suffering.

In terms of addiction, this is why it’s so important to break free. There’s far too much trouble out there in the world without us creating more for ourselves through self-destructive habits.

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I want to see your 90 day post.

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Coming soon brother! Step by step, day by day I will get there. I have come too far now to look back. If The God wills, I will share that post about 5 weeks from now.

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@Forerunner

Keep going bro you are motivating me after those 22 days, 56 days is a huge step.
May GOD help you, in my opinion you deserve it.
You have already created your own formula on how to be more great.
Do you think that you can hold on until the end of the year Lol?.

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@anon80614957 Thank you brother - I am honoured to be a source of inspiration. Many people on this site have gone much further than I have, and that truly is motivating and provides us all with hope. With time, I will reach that level by GOD’s Grace.

None of us deserves to suffer. If we sincerely want to break free of this, everyone can and should be free. I am praying for my companions daily to break free and live the fulfilling lives we desire. May GOD help us out of this darkness and into the light.

Absolutely, my friend. This formula is the result of sound advice, other people’s success stories and strategies, books like Power over Pornography and Six Pillars of Self-Esteem and some personal reflection and realization. Someone who follows the formula completely, I believe they will succeed, 100%. Not only does it help someone break free from the cycle of relapsing and get past the first 4 weeks - the toughest in my opinion - but the built-in practice and review keep away overconfidence which brings people down from high streaks after passing 90 days or more.

So yes, GOD willing, I will have 201 days on my counter by year’s end. That is completely possible. If, GOD Forbid, I were to relapse, it would be a result of being overconfident and no longer following the formula. But I choose to do this for the rest of my life if that’s what it takes. It takes less than 30 minutes a week for me to maintain this strategy, whereas in the past I spent an average of 7 hours daily in PMO - and even more time on the weekends. I have gained more than 2 days’ worth of time each week! No reason why I can’t dedicate 30 minutes a week from that time gained to maintaining my bright future for the next 75 years!

But the goal is reached one day at a time. I choose to be clean today, so I can be clean tomorrow.

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Thank GOD, I’ve reached 201 days now! :grin:

@Adioz Keep learning and adapting your strategy brother, you can definitely break free for good!

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@Forerunner, or should i say Joshue:

I remember when i’ve asked you if you could avoid this addiction until the end of 2019 and you said yes…well you actually did that, and that’s so amazing. Actions speak louder than words. Keep going brother, i believe that at the end we are all going to make it. Respect.

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@anon80614957 Absolutely my friend, we can all make it out of this! Keep fighting the good fight!

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Can we fight porn and masturbation in the same time?
Is it better to stop porn first and then start fight masturbation?
Personally, i don’t know the exact answer but i think that i should start by quiting porn completely. Then it will be way easier for me to overcome the addiction to masturbation.
What do you think?

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@auroraborealisss In my experience, I’ve seen few people who are able to continue masturbation without being triggered to go back to pornography. For most of us, our brains will say, “Well, if I’m going to relapse, I may as well go for the full experience.” Since we’re looking to be free of both, and we’re intentionally breaking our boundaries, it’s a small jump to go from masturbation only to PMO again.

I would always advise someone to cut out both completely, at the same time. With the right tools in place, you can definitely do it.

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Yeah you’re right. I also have another question. How do you manage to overcome the urge to PMO after having sexual dreams. These dreams were the most difficult obstacle that made me relapse for several times. I used to masturbate to overcome them,but as you just said ,masturbation has driven me back to PMO

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@auroraborealisss Yeah, I’ve actually had a few dreams like that myself recently.

What has helped me is raising my awareness of how much the addiction has ruined my life. After waking up from those dreams, I start remembering all the terrible things that would happen to me if I chose to go back to PMO, and I think of how much better my life is without it. Focusing on those thoughts means that the lingering urges caused by the dreams fade away.

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Thanks bro
We will certainly win this battle.

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Nice Thankyou for the tips.

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Actually my aim is for 30days (H.S-15+)… Could you give me some advice how I can reach 30days?
I read your diary. I have some queries:-

fasting every single day until nightfall (no food or water during daylight hours)

Is it necessary to do fasting till the day I get the nightfall? Because I never had this nightfall in my whole life.
When exactly I get this nightfall? I mean how many days(approx) after that I will get the nightfall? Or nightfall - is it recovery sign?

no social media or WhatsApp, no gaming, no songs - only instrumentals,
I don’t have any social media (except whatsapp currently others I have deleted or suspended temporarily)
but is it necessary quit this gaming? (I play game when I get bored)
even I do same & I love listening instrumentals… :heart_eyes:

After falling from my highest ever streak in January, I spiralled into a continuous series of relapses. More than 100 times

How you get back on track when you fall again and again?
Didn’t you feel demotivated,sad,uninspired to do it again?

Learn something entirely new about yourself and untangle the fog that PMO has placed on your self-awareness.
Great advice :ok_hand:

PMO is not the root of all your current problems. It may even have started that way, but now it is a symptom of them.
What do you mean by these line written above ?

the times you neglected your work or your exercises, the wasted time on video games and movies and browsing Instagram, the pain you caused to family and friends, all of it.

I am very fond of movies, but currently I am not watching any movies. But yeah I started watching TV series (crime, mystery, SciFi) not at all romantic tv series. Should I have to stop it now? Or I can see, it’s not problematic?
Mobile games I play when I get bored… don’t have social media (except whatsapp with very less friends) as I described above in the post.

That was the old you in the past. You cannot ever change what he did. You can choose to be the new man you are at the present moment and work each day to have a beautiful future.
Really Motivational I will add this to my diary…

Fully believe that you deserve to live this life and that with the help of the Almighty, you will accomplish it this time.
Here I am totally opposite, Whatever you wrote above :point_up_2:

There are no more thoughts like 'Just one extra day and I’ll start fresh tomorrow!
I will not think as you said :point_up_2:

Make it a habit to remove lustful thoughts from your mind instantly. The woman passing by in the street, your classmates and work colleagues, previous crushes and girlfriends, that music video, flashbacks of P imagery, all of them have to go

These all are my problem to go back to P videos… How I can solve this? Its very hard for me to divert my mind from that thought and it pushed me to do so.

one list of all the reasons why you don’t want to go back to PMO or break your lifetime streak, and the second list of all the reasons why you want to continue being free and what your new life will look like.

I will write this soon.

Sorry if I wrote anything wrong, kindly forgive me.
Kindly suggest me how I make through 30days. Firstly I will try this to follow it.

Thanks for this lovely post. :clap:t2:

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Congratulations buddy♥️
Something similar happened with me. After installing this app, I reached my highest streak i.e. 11 days.

But somehow I did masturbation and fall in the trap again. After those 11 days, I did 6-7 times in just 3 days. Yesterday I did commitment to myself again, like I did those 11 days ago.

I WON’T FALL this time :muscle:

Btw, the felt very energetic in those 11 days​:heart_eyes:, That feeling was WONDERFUL!! :heart:

I’m back on the right track again :grinning:

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Wow! What a joy for your joy and success. Congratulations on your determination. Glad you have a trophy in your hands that inspires me to reach far beyond the horizon too. I am very happy for you.

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Bismillah and Well, here we go…
Thanks for the motivation brother.
May Allah reward you for that

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