[Adioz's Diary] Let's have Break up with your Porn(Buddy)

Sharing code - uce8d1

Current streak - 0 days (recently started)
Highest streak - 0 days(didn’t count before)
Age - 25
Gender - M
Location - Don’t Know

Hey Everyone,
I know I came back after a long time, but we all need some time to distract our mind whoever gets addicted.

So I came back to do a competition with myself

I know I can do this alone too… but why I need this forum? Because it gives me inspiration to get going…
Believe me I tried other sites too… like same forum but none of them is like this forum. I didn’t feel comfortable there.

This time I came up with new idea…

I am the only one who is accountable to myself… This look insane but that’s true… I will go for competition created by me & only for me.
& I will tell the reason why I relapsed ?
Soon I will start the Competition…

Hope for the best… Till that time.

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Day 1 completed (after joining this forum)
Super amazing day I have enjoyed alot,

now you think ,How?? Here it is…

I tried something which I use to do in my childhood, because I am alone I should make myself busy(but I should enjoy the moment) for not overthinking about bad experiences.
I did exercise (which is already in my schedule) can’t skip.
I tried new dish to eat… It is really bad but experience is superb still laughing on my mistake…
Now last thing office work which I usually do in night.

After joining here I feel like(forum) I am at home I have my brother my best friend, irritating friend… Etc all are at one place. Can’t explain in words how much I am happy from my heart.

Hope I will do better tommorow than today.

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Welcome back to the forum or as you described, a family, we’re all happy to have you. :slight_smile:

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@Taher this time I won’t go unless any major problem happened here or else I will complete my journey till last.
Actually because of this forum I became more disciplined,focused & confident than I last time visited. Thanks to this forum(my family) my friends & my brothers.
Now I can go for any streaks not more than 365days.

I like the way you greet everyone when they joined this forum.

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Day 2 completed
Savere asi apne dostaan naal ghumnde gediyaan mardè hán( from morning I am having fun with my friends) done breakfast with them & suddenly we planned to go for swimming, we went to indoor swimming pool (I don’t know how to swim but tried, actually we all should try something new Everytime when we have opportunity) I did so much fun in swimming pool with my friends and then we back to home in the middle of the route, we feel hungry then again we went to restaurant, there we ate too much that we sleep(it’s just a small nap) there only… & Later waiter came wake us all. Then we moved to home in home we saw movie together. In the evening they all went. I was alone at home. Suddenly after couple of hours I feel cravings or you can say urge to watch porn. Later I thought I should divert my mind to something which might work so I went in kitchen making again some delicious dish to eat in dinner. Even after that cooking I feel same… :disappointed:Lastly I thought which is the best thing which I like about myself, I found the answer and I put the song on speaker with loud voice & dancing… Till I get exhausted… Finally after getting tired I ate dinner & went to sleep… !!

I thought I should write from my deep of my heart so I wrote everything what’re I did. Atleast at the time of sad days I can read these journal… & Be happy.

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Day 3 completed,
Clean day
Did exercise & learn new skill online.

Hope I will be able to better today.

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Day 4 Completed…
I am not excited much because I have done this so many times… Actually I am waiting for that monster urge which will come little late but when it comes, I should prepare myself that I won’t focus on that thought… Which leads me in wrong direction…
It’s not like I haven’t face this monster urge… I did… But everybody knows that our mind cycle forces us if anything is not going as per last routine… It plays tricky game with us… If you fall in trap then you guarded down in front of PMO… If not then you’ve to tackle that in a manner that we can replace that habit with something interesting then you can go forward… !

I have tried this without this forum I did for long time but when I fall I can’t lift myself up… So I joined here… I saw many people who were there with me last time when I left, they are keep going(struggling) without any single excuse then why I should make one? So I decided to join back to forum… This time I won’t leave unless I quit totally from my mind…
When I saw video clip Forerunner … I feel goosebumps & feel so inspired & decided this time I won’t give up…!

Overall day is Normal, less stressed, & Victory over PMO today.

Hope for the best tommorow.

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Day 5 completed,

Change required
1)Waking up late(needs to change the sleeping time)
2)Being so lazy(because I am not consistent in exercise)
3)Not doing book reading (Unread book from a long time…)
4)Procrastinating(avoid this habit, I ignore every serious conversation, by saying we will see when it happens)
5) I am too moody & aggressive (needs to change)

I think I am the only one who is having this problem, if I sleep before 11pm then I will get up on time otherwise after that then I won’t get sleep whole night… Most of the time(90%) I am having trouble in sleeping…!

I will try to sleep now…
Today’s day :- busy, stressful, & No PMO.

Hope tommorow will be better than today.

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Day-6 completed
Today’s day is like:-
Less socialize, too much travelling, tiredness, lazy, irritated, short tempered… wasted whole day.

Hope this kind of day won’t come again

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Day 7 and 14hrs passed
I feel so tensed, one of my friend having sucidal thought, I did counselling… Finally there is less chances that he might give in…
But what about my family? Day before y’day some incident happened… everyone is blaming each other that because of you that happened… Nobody is trying understand that we can solve this problem with calmness & by talking politely to each other… I am like mediator who must listen this every conversation… & They sometimes angry on me why I am not solving this problem…?
It’s like hell my brain is not working at all… All thoughts are about what they are fighting, their conversations. My mind is too disturbed.need to calm my mind.
Even I haven’t done my office work too… Taken leave today…!

Day 7 Completed(1 week)
Today’s day is like :- stressful, irritating, emotional,
Stopped doing exercise in the middle… I have to start that again…
At the end of the day I feel happy that what I thought I started today new habit (Reading book). I hope, I will be consistent till I complete this book.

Today’s thought : The small changes today will eventually add up to big results Tommorow

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Great job on making it to a week man!

Sorry to hear about your friend and family situation, sounds very stressful. I hope the incident you mentioned wasn’t too bad.

Exercise can seriously help to destress if you have the time, I definitely recommend getting back into that as you said you wanted to. Especially running. Long runs can be so relaxing once you get into them.

Stay strong man, I hope all of this works out in the end for you.

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"Thank you Guys for your support"
In my family it’s all okay, & about my friend he got big loss in business… Now he have to sell his company to someone who can run effectively. & He have to pay the debts… His life totally worse.
But we learn from our mistake… He definitely won’t do the mistake he have done recently.

Day 8 Completed
Today’s day is like :- Optimistic, busy in office work, made Big Changes in my schedule,
Last time I read few pages of book I like to read.

Today’s Thought:- First Rule of Life;
"If you never go after what you want, You never have it."

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Oh jeez, yeah that does sound pretty bad for your friend. But hopefully he can get back up from it eventually and next time know how to avoid that pitfall. But I’m glad to hear it is all ok with your family.

Keep fighting man!

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Day 9 Completed
Everyone might be thinking how I am doing without a single complain about Urges…
Actually I noted down the Cue which triggers me or make me horny or feel Urges… I am avoiding that by making strict tight schedule which makes me busy all the time don’t have time to overthink about inappropriate habit…

I’ve started two new habit recently I know it’s really hard in the beginning to be consistent but as we go on doing the same thing again & again then our mind will develop a habit, after a some days we will recognize by on particular time I have to do this habit… & We should make that habit which we enjoy doing everyday. One habit is making me +ve(positive) every single day in any circumstances & other is for gaining Knowledge…!

Today’s day be like:
Little Confusing in the beginning, Happy environment, seriously in the middle of the day, tired while coming from office…

One thing I have learnt today is
if you do something wrong, think it’s consequences earlier… so that, you can deal with your Superior politely.

I made one mistake today:
One letter came to our office & I sent that back by saying that we don’t know this person, after that I got to know that our newly appointmented Senior name is written on that letter. Oh my god… It’s like now he gonna kill me. But luckily my colleague knows his contact info, call him then he delivered that letter to us. That colleague is God for me today he saved me by all that harsh word, he would say if he got to know about my mistake.

Hope Tmrw will be better day

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Day 1 completed,
Y’day I am totally feel depressed, I am asking myself why I did M? Yeah, I didn’t saw P but watching bikini girls video song @4:30am is super stupidity & It’s equal to P. I don’t know what to say but when I am out of this forum, just few months ago I am like I can do anything, and now :disappointed: what I am doing to myself… Can I become what I was before??
Whenever I am doubting myself I start reading book(Who says you can’t? You do) which I started recently… But after wasting 9day streak(looks like 90days to me) now I feel like “Man I have to start again” :disappointed:… I

I will start again but this time I will not stay awake for long time in night. I am damn sure I won’t do in day time because of my schedule. I should add this too in my schedule that at what time I should sleep.

Today’s Thought:-
"There are powers inside of you which, if you discover and use, would make you everything you ever dreamed or imagine you could become."

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Don’t get down on yourself man, you made a mistake, but that’s part of learning. Relapse doesn’t mean failure, it just means there is more to discover.

I think that is a good idea to start journaling at night and to get to bed early. Those things will help a lot if that is your usual relapse time.

Get back up and keep fighting brother! We are here for you :slightly_smiling_face:

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If you don’t feel asleep at night, try to walk or do some exercise in the evening. It will make you very sleepy. And I recommend replacing your smartphone with a book or something before going to bed. Earlier I used to use my phone while sleeping, and it always used to trigger me. And the blue rays are also bad for eyes due to which I have poor eyesight now. But we still have time right. Change your habits.:blush:

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Hey @tuku as you said I should replace my phone habit to reading book… You’re right but that’s not problem.
Actually as per my schedule I should sleep before 11pm but that time I am totally lost in that book(till 4:30am) & I don’t know the time … (I mostly use less phone in the night)
to check time, I lifted my phone(which I always keep in distance from my bed)
when I am using my phone then I do browse different different things. Later I saw one video song there that urge triggers me & I thought that time, I can resist it… But I failed.

(I don’t have any social media accounts too I already deleted long time ago because I was using phone more & wasting so much time.)

Actual problem is I thought I figure out what triggers me but I discovered new cue… Which I didn’t face before… 99.9% I never watch video songs… But don’t know why I did this time… Anyways this won’t repeat again I promise.

Great idea @Special_Bird I will try that whenever I feel tempted or an urge… I will write down here in this thread. Thanks anyway

That’s the biggest problem I have currently.

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Day 2d 16hrs Completed,
Whole day went in sleeping, didn’t sleep y’day night(went in someone’s wedding) came back home in morning 10am then busy in doing household work. Then outside work which I have to do. & Later sleep @ 2pm till 7pm… Today i didn’t followed my schedule wasted lot of time. & Taken leave from office too. :slightly_frowning_face:

I’ve decided I will do the same as before.
My goals be like… 3days, 7days, 15days, 30days, 60days, 90days… Etc
& I will reward myself after accomplishing each goal… !

Hope my day will be better than today.

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3 Days 16hrs completed,
Less excite about work today in office, taken too many breaks,
Even I have done less work… After completing working hours when I am coming back to home, my bike suddenly stopped in the middle of the road. Thank God that nearby is known area(once upon a time I use to live there ) I park my vehicle to known friends house & went home by bus. tomorrow I will see to it.

Currently I have blue balls(getting pain in testicles) don’t know what to do… Bearing a pain now… Sometimes I am having high & low pain. Already tried ice on testicles.
Can anybody suggest me what to do??

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