[Adioz's Diary] Let's have Break up with My Porn(Buddy)

But I didn’t tried anything not even edging.

When I am having pain my testicles, I can’t touch any testicles… & I am having problem in sitting & sleeping too.
As in my past I tried multiple times fapping in a day… may be this is the reason :point_up_2:
But not now NoFapping.

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No I get it. I was just referring to the process for blue balls main reason ​being the edging. In your case , it might be something else, if the problem continues you should consult a doctor.

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Day 4 completed,

(please don’t think wrong about me i am not that much bad guy it’s all because of this addiction)

Today morning while I am going by bus, I am sitting quietly thinking about when I will reach my destination and Suddenly one girl boarded she was standing in front of me… I always see many girls on my way to office, after along time something weird I noticed about that girl, feel awkward to tell her, as a boy tell any girl-thing she will think something else. So I thought let’s ignore but when everyone is start noticing same thing I feel so embarrassed. I got up from my seat & stand in front of her, so nobody else will see by bad mindset but I am feeling an urge that time… & Started collecting my old memories (thought against NoFap) about my ex. It’s just increasing & increasing by every single minute. So I changed my posture facing towards other men’s. After few minutes she left. Then I feel okay…! I don’t know why I was thinking so bad that time… upto what extent I reach :persevere:… where I feel ashamed about myself. :sob: I know this is all because of that addiction of porn.
I promise myself I will not think anything wrong about any girl.
When I hear all the news about in my city girl ganrape & burnt alive, I feel so much anger like I should do the encounter of the guys who did… But when my thinking is like this then how can I suggest someone to be good to every girl.
Feeling so bad about myself:pensive:

Went to service center & repaired my bike, then back to office.

Here I am not able to concentrate on my work. I feel so bad about myself. Anyhow I have to do work, I came here to work not for doing time pass.

Today’s day:-
little happy because I pushed myself where I feel bored & now I started enjoying that work.
Little stressed because of my family, all responsibilities on me… I have to take care of everything.

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Hey guys @MRmoussa2002 @koylakhadan @Warriors_Journey @ShivHanu how you’re doing buddies… I think nobody noticed I came back again.

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What happened man?

Am not getting what happened and what you are trying to convey?

Is this not your diary?

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@Aragorn & @Special_Bird

Actually that’s my old diary I thought someone else copied my journal(as it is) & made his own diary with my name.
After clarifying with taher, he told me that’s only my old diary he created temporary anonymous id to it.
I am so angry how anyone can copy my whole journal same as it is & pasting it to his diary.

Now I am okay … Everything sorted out.

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Peace Peace Peace

:grin: :grin: :grin:

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My sharing code is: uce8d1 @Aragorn

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Thanks.

I added you…

:grinning: :grinning:

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Ah glad that is sorted out then, I added you as well!

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Day 5 completed
I have learnt many things from my favorite companions… few are here :point_down: I will add this to my journal for better tomorrow.

  1. write down the experiences or your visions that you saved from not fapping. --> @tuku

  2. when you journal to also write down urges and what they are saying? Try to get to the root of them, even while you are experiencing them. It will help you to stay conscious of what is causing you to relapse and how you can work through it.
    –> @Special_Bird

  3. learnt from @Forerunner

  • Come up with 5 strong reasons why you want to quit - 5 ways that the addiction has negatively impacted your life.
  • Come up with 5 strong reasons why you want to be free and clean - 5 ways your life will improve as a result of quitting that would not be possible otherwise.
  • Use your 5 strong positive reasons to come up with a short but powerful vision statement of what your life will look like without PMO.
  1. It is very important for us to celebrate each small wins in this journey. Many a time we feel clueless and demotivated because nobody won’t be appreciating us for what we are doing. --> @Aragorn
  1. Making a commitment to myself & gift the NoFap streak to our next Birthday. Great idea of @Martial_Beast

I appreciate that I found you guys, you guys are supporting in every situation… Hats off to you guys. (Sorry if I missed someone)

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I wish you a great streak brother…:blush:
Hopefully the last one you ever have to count!

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It’s the first time in my life i see someone quoting me.

Am in heaven now…

:grinning::grinning::grinning:

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Glad you found my strategy helpful brother! It means a lot to me that I am one of your favorite companions :pray:

Keep fighting man, you can make this streak your last💪

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Day 6 17hrs Completed,
Today I was busy in helping others…
Whenever I have off from office… I always think to stay at home & sleep more :smile: but today I feel so tired, frustrated and have fear… that what if that happened to me… How I will manage?
Lastly I came back to home when I completed my task.
(But In between task I feel(thoughts be)like __why I am doing this?? they can find way to help themselves, & pushing me back to home, is it necessary to help them?_)…I don’t know why my mind says all negative thoughts to me… But I didn’t listen & stay there unless it is completed.

I have realised that how this porn effected my life… Previously (a long time ago) when I didn’t saw porn, whenever I see something romantic I feel something inside me but now it’s like my heart is made up of rock. It doesn’t feel anything now.

  • Overall day was amazing…! Feel happy now.

I don’t know why feel nervousness about my current streak today…I feels like I will relapse soon.

Hope for the better day than today.

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These are the devil’s trap. Doubts creates barriers. Believe in yourself and you can achieve it. Say this to yourself you are stronger than your urge, the urge is nothing but a choice . You got this buddy

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It’s not like an urge, it’s just like thought which says that you came this far definitely you will fall. I didn’t listen & ignored it. Now day 7 completed.
Thanks for your support @tuku :heart_eyes:

Today’s thought;-
"When you know what you want, and want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it"
-Jim Rohn

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5 strong reasons that the addiction has negatively impacted your life:-

  1. low self confidence
  2. Low memory (kind of short term memory)
  3. Procrastinating every work.
  4. Having sexual thought at wrong time.
  5. Can’t concentrate & focus.

Few strong reasons why I want to be free and clean:-

  1. Not stable on my promise… Whatever I promise to myself, mostly I can’t make it possible… I want this time I promise myself that I will do NoFap & make my life better.
  2. Not emotionally available I feel like I am not that much emotionally available to my partner how much I should be… I always have fear inside me about this fapping thing which make some distance between us.
  3. Don’t want to lie to myself if I am bad I will accept but don’t want to lie about any wrong habit I put in my routine.
    I want to change as early as possible. I will accept my flaws and I will start working on it.
  4. Dont want to procastinate already I procrastinated many important things in my life which is very important everyone’s life. Actually procrastinating is like becoming my habit now. In every work I am not doing on time, making some excuses.
    It ruining my life drastically. Feel so bad if I look back what I have done.

Few strong positive reasons, short but powerful vision statement:-
I want that my relationship goes perfect, and I want to remember Everything which is on priority list(now I should note down to remember… I don’t want that, I want to remember mentally), as I can’t concentrate on my work (90% times) I want to be creative more like others, my mind won’t generate ideas currently… I want every single time I will think about my work &
I want to do something great in my feild so that my parents will proud of me(currently they feel like I made wrong choice by taking this job… I want to prove them).
Don’t want to procastinate any work and I want my mind full of positive thoughts rather than sexual thoughts(which is not necessary in public place).I want to be energetic every time mentally & physically.

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Day 7 18hrs completed

Best day of my life… I don’t what I did so that my whole day became the happiest day ever… Feeling happy from my soul.

I get up & started rewire app open the forum read few people journal & their new ideas to create now competition. I helped my friend (companion) by clearifying his doubt regarding this journey.
Then went to office by bus today(while going by bike I feel tired in the morning because of this traffic & pollution, eyes feels burning because of smoke… I thought bus is better option for me) didn’t thought about what I will do in bus… After boarding bus. I sat on seat & I started feeling bored… I put some music on my phone with earphones. 50% helped me. So I thought I should do something. I opened by bag I found my favorite Book :smiley: … I feel so happy that bymistaken I kept this in my bag which helped me today. So I started reading this :blue_book: 2-3pages I read earlier but this time I go through the underlined main points… Then continued where I left earlier… When I am reading this I feel like I am the author & expressing my feelings that much deeper I went in the book. Sometimes I laugh, & then I look around and realise that I am in bus, sit quietly. I have read few pages & when my look forward my stop is about to come. I kept that book in bag. From my bus stop to my office I just listen the music even in that I feel something positive. I feel like I develop self confidence today … I didn’t thought any single negative things in my way to office. In office I read this book after I ate lunch I have some time to restart my work so I read this book little… then I went from cafeteria to work floor. I was confused about one of my problem… I discussed with one friend (whom I am not talking much) but she helped me… More than I expected.
I always have bad record in talking to girls, the more I become friendly the early our friendship ends. so I never talk to girls much.
My friend share one video which gave me boost and I started doing work by enjoying what I am doing.
Really feel so much happy after clearifying my doubt.
Then I lost in the book again when I was coming back to my home(as my bus stop is about to come that time only I realize that it’s time to keep book in bag). This book gives me positive energy whole day & even I still can feel it.
I think I feel great because I didn’t wasted a single minute.

Today’s thought:-(from the book)
"There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do"

When you change the way you think, you change the way you feel. When you change the way you feel, you change the way you act, when you change the way you act, you change your life. It’s all starts by changing the way you… ?

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Day 8 4hrs completed,

I do not understand how you wake up so soon? I always try to wake up early but I always get up at 8am and go to office in a hurry.(Sunday’s 9:00am)
There is always a habit in my mind but I can’t get up early so I can’t complete what I think …
I have to start a cycling Habit, because when I sit in the office for a long time my one leg fall asleep.Maybe my legs are still weak.

Can anyone suggest me how to wake up early?

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