Adioz Diary(The Lost Battle)

Same thing happened last night. I saw series and I saw something which couldn’t get out of my mind. Till morning I am getting pop ups in my head about that series. Couldn’t resist and I relapsed in afternoon.

What should I do… didn’t get it?

When I was on day 2 & above I need not to think what should I do becoz I had mental clarity. Only thing is I wasn’t aware that how dangerous are my triggers. I want to reach more than 3days. I have to make target and try not to watch any scene which made me relapse on that day or another.

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I am thinking to Change dairy name because it seems like not matching with my actions. If I compare myself with lord Buddha. Then I have 0 patience, no controlling power, not thinking before speaking… Etc.

Thinking which name should be suitable for my diary.

kindly don’t reply on my diary if anyone is not serious about it. No jokes here.
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I have done many mistakes today which might leads me to failure of my progress. currently I am not able to handle it properly but once I will on clean days I might can handle it.

Yesterday one thought :thinking: :thought_balloon: came in my mind that why I am overthinking so much about some things which I can’t control right now.
So, it’s better to present in the moment and
think what actually needs to do today(as per priority) rather than thinking about what will happen/ed tomorrow and yesterday.

We must have two choice either we should do or not.
“Do or Die” :point_left: same way… No middle way/shortcut available.

For everything comes in our mind we should evaluate but answer must be only one :point_down:

“Yes, I will do it. OR
No, I can’t (if you can’t then leave it, Do something else)” .

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So, yesterday I did it… Workout :white_check_mark:
I thought that I haven’t done workout from month
so I think I really needed right now to do the workout…

But later that lazy Adioz✌️ thought that I can’t,
I haven’t done from long time, don’t know whether I have that much energy or not…
I almost gave up that I won’t do workout today.
But suddenly someone name came in my mind who gave me “courage to head up and do anything… Don’t give up. escape because of excuses is not possible” this is what my friend said to me.
That’s just small statement for some people but for me it’s lot more than anything. Supporting friend is all I wanted.
So, at the End I thought it’s Yes or No, I have two choice…
I chose Yes to do Workout, instantly… I felt confidence to do workout.

Yeah I know…! that Maintaining same motivation for working out for days, months and years(consistency) that’s all matters.

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I have completed 3 days :person_cartwheeling:

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May be I think “I found reason to stop it completely”.

  • If I still relapse that means I was wrong.
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Day before yesterday was Very special day of my life. I can’t reveal that secret now but I can say later. I was very happy :grin: that some of my colleagues noticed it…!!
From that day I felt that I should do something for myself.
I thought to do workout but still I am lazy like everytime. And even I have decreased my appetite again.

Anyway if anyone can suggest me how to stop being lazy and reduce procrastinating tasks. I would be very grateful to get your suggestions.