ADIOZ DIARY: The First step towards enlightenment

To be honest
I tried this Nofap many times…
But always failed… Because I never see myself that great as much people are here…
I always think…is it possible that one day I will be living addiction free life?
But there is lot of insecurity, fears, negativity inside me which suppresses my positive voices and always I can hear is “No”…

Yeah I am very lazy guy… Who spent most of the time in internet to get the entertainment…
And that… “most of the time”–> fucked up my life…

Honestly I’ve nothing to be proud on myself.
So I thought if I could make at least one good habit then I can say I am proud that I did something for myself before I gonna die…

Rest which was my dreams :sleeping::thought_balloon: which is really unrealistic to me now.
Never know how my life will be in future, if I see present life or
Even I don’t know that… am I capable to achieve all those dreams which I thought long time ago… ?

Overall if I say in short it’s that simple…

I am pretty fucked up and dont have much courage to stand up again

So, kindly give your help and support… That give me little push through.

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3days completed.
Yup there were so many triggers on the way but at the end of the day… what we do, that matters alot.!!

I always have an habit of relapsing in the night so, I spent most of the time in forum
Becuz if my mind get distracted & I will never think about relapse. It help only to some extent.
Advices and support of companions means alot here. Otherwise I would’ve never taken that step which I taken y’day.
Even I can’t even move on from toxic relationship. Where there is no self-respect of me and she don’t trust me that I am saying truth. I was always trying to prove my point.
It’s better not to waste time in proving yourself right one… who wanna understand you, they’ll do anyhow.

Thanks for some companions who helped me from destroying my own image/self-respect.

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Brother I suggest you to start watching anime at night !
Start by watching deathnote, I am pretty sure it will definitely interest you and You can sleep while watching it !
Anime’s are really interesting and blows your mind away !
I am pretty sure It will distract you !
Wish You best of Luck !
My situation was the same as You, I used to relapse most of the time at night when I felt alone !
I didn’t slept one whole night while watching anime and slept 2-3 hour in the morning and the next night I slept very early and then I waked up early, So that I can go to bed early !
Then it became my habit !
You can do it too brother !
It’s really tough, But do it smartly and You can easily do it
download all the episodes at once so that you won’t have to stop !
There of plenty of options to watch if you don’t prefer anime (still I would highly recommend it) like Harry potter, Game of Thrones.
Other options for anime ~ Attack on titans and Hunter x hunter (You can find everything on telegram)
Tackle it smartly brother in the initial days distract your mind !
And Once you achieve a higher streak, It will be a lot easier for you to have self control !

One more thing don’t remind yourself of nofap !
Eventually you are thinking of not watching it and unconsciously you are saying to your mind to watch it !
Just forget about it !
Be happy and Be Busy That’s the Key !
Good Luck Brother !
:fire:

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Small confession:-

There was a time I use to be on top level as per my mentality.(I experienced it personally)
But this consistency and determination where I lacked. I always fall into this sexual thoughts which mind gives because of this addiction.
After lot of relapses, At the end I thought I should leave this community and thought I will never come back. But that time this community gave me new identity as motivator and lots of love which I can’t find anywhere. Which pulls me back.
I thought if I stays hidden nobody will recognize me. And once I get backup I will reveal who am I.
I was wrong this is not right way to fight with this addiction.
Fall is just part of journey. We are not failing. Once we fall we know where we went wrong and if we learn from it. No body can stop us
to succeed

So here it is :point_down:

I am “Adioz → with new ID → adidas2201(came with my real name)”

I left the community last year in September.

If I have done anything wrong. I sincerely apologize.

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Amazing, Now Prove Yourself !

:fire: :muscle: Become the Best Version of Yourself we are all together in this !

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[29th March 2021]
Today I gave my best in office and even got pat on my back <— once I achieved my target.
My Superior also got impressed as I am newbie to office and i’ve done what experienced guys do…
I was happy for almost half of the day on my today’s achievement.

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Be busy brother !
Chill out with your family or friends.
Don’t be alone when such urges arise, You have come very far brother from relapsing everyday !
Don’t go back to it !
It really hell !
Stay motivated have a big smile on your face !
I want you to breathe deeply !
And Say I can do it !
:fire: :muscle:

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Sometimes I feel bad when I am trying to show the light :bulb: to people, who are doing same mistake I have done in my past… And people don’t care at all.
They keep on blaming me that I am wrong. As I am older than them I keep myself calm and just convince myself that they won’t understand unless they experience same situation in their life.

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Hi dear @Adioz_aka_Adidas ,

Hope you are doing great. I have just one thing to say-
Feel proud of what you are. Try to find positivity in small things. Keep improving. Keep inspiring…

All the best
JumpingBuddha

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Today I wake up at 3:20am
I was listening music while sleeping and suddenly electricity gone… So I wake up early without alarm.

I am Grateful for :-
music I listen :musical_note: ;
:headphones:Headphones I use;
Devices :iphone: I use to listen music

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Relapse Point system starts today…

-1 for every relapse

let’s see how much points I will collect till the end of this month.
Starting from today

Total for today= -2 points (twice relapsed)

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Today was great day for me even I sleep late but I wake up @ 6am.
Did meditation.
Write :writing_hand: affirmation/gratitude
Read a book for 30min(i am little slow in reading btw need to improve)
Nofap (:white_check_mark: no relapse =+1)

I am hoping that these habits will develop for long term
Lets see how things will go later…

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Keep going bro. Get your life together; we are all accountable to each other. Together anything is possible. Don’t leave the forum this time. Complete atleast 90-180 days and then leave the forum.
This accountability is what keeps us afloat.
Slay the deamon once and for all.
Thousands have done it before us. If we can go through a little amount of pain, suffering and hardship of flatline, withdrawals etc we can conquer the deamon.
Give your 100%

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Thanks for your support @Tagore bro…
I won’t leave unless I will stop this habit…
Now I have strong reason why I need to stop this…

Thanks to all companions who made me realise… What’s more important in our life.

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As I am waking up early (2 or 3hrs before), I feel like I didn’t taken enough sleep as I use to do… Feeling lazy.
When I sit for a minute(I don’t wanna get up again) I think this relapses have taken all the energy from my body and my body taking time to restore it.

Sometimes my body says take rest whereas other people of my age hustling without even taking a rest for a moment.
Mood swings are hell…Happiness, sadness(feel like crying) aggressiveness, But I controlled myself anyhow…
Over-thinking about why this is happening to me…

Anyhow I am not stopping myself by doing any habit.
I have to do it in any cost. Either it’s night or day thats what I think.

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Just hold on brother,
It’s tough during the initial days to focus on something due to lack of energy.
You just wait till day - 7,
Energy will run in your veins, Tremendous amount of energy that you can utilize in doing work or you can waste to relapse.
That’s also a reason why most people relapse around day-7 they don’t use that energy.
Just keep it slow steady in the start !
Once your mind is aligned!
You will have control over everything !
Just don’t give up till then !
:fire::handshake::muscle:

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I understand that brother that’s why I am holding on myself… Thinking that Good days are on the way…
Just need patience.

Thanks for your helping hand :raised_hand: brother

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@rewire_user
Okay just stay with me little more…
I will show you my streak above 7days with being productive. Using that energy at correct place.

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Sometimes when I try yo be happy something holding me back… I feel like being happy is not for me…

Sorry for being emotional…
I thought I should write this down… so, I did

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you doing good ,brother…

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