Adioz (🔵 Blue Buddha's Diary)

I am starting this New Diary by hoping that I will change my life… the way I wanted ! Cope up all my fears and become new me. I understand what all it takes…

This addiction made me worse in last 3years. Yeah I accept that I was in and out from the community… But mostly I am trying to get out of this bog.
I will do whatever I must do…

I don’t wanna lie to myself… But lying becoming my habit. I want to accept myself as I am then only I can love myself unconditionally.

If anyone want to add any advice… You’re most welcome. :pray:
It’s like I am starting my journey once again.

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First few days are always hard. Distract yourself with other dopamine sources when you feel like watching p*, like good music or a good movie or a good show.
You can exercise, meditate, take deep breaths, take a walk, anything but search for p*. In a few days that craving will get minimised and easy to control.

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That is common, but if you hold on for few days like 2 weeks or so, the cravings decrease. The urges come once in a while but easier to handle than during first few days.
But you should always have the reason for doing no fap written down somewhere. Do this now, write why you are on no fap or why you started. I knew that but didn’t write it that’s why I failed last time probably.
Now a days when I feel like giving up I look at the written down lines and they fuel me up.

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I am not a pro in handling my device usage but you can use digital detox app to lock yourself out of your device. You can also choose important apps in it that you want to use during the detox.
I actually don’t like that app that much, as it is somehow technology, so we’ll be using technology to get rid of technology :joy:, but yeah there’s no harm in trying.

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You’ve got all the resources to quit this buddy. Start brainwashing all those scenes. It will be hard in the starting but it can be done. Whenever a picture appears in your mind rather than removing it try to make it blurry. Slowly It’ll fade away.

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Just imagine the picture as you’d normally do, but make it blurry, like you’re seeing the thing through a translucent glass window

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There’s plethora of books, videos, articles that people suggested here. There personal experiences and tips and tricks. Give me sometime I’ll find the best one’s then I’ll get back to you.

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Mission 1 :-

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I am working for that…

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Be disciplined bro. That is the key. If you wake up at 5, do meditation at a certain time, exercise, take cold shower, study, do work, write gratitude journal etc then you can escape a lot of urges easily. Also be mindful when the urges arise. Look at Buddha; no one can make him angry or sad. Why? Because he is insanely Mindful all the time. Look at the urge, observe it, see what it’s doing, be curious, don’t try to fight back. If you fight back by saying “no I won’t ffap. I have this goal, that goal” then you will fail 100%
Don’t argue with mind. Mindfulness, meditation, yoga etc are very important

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@Tagore
I am doing workouts even though I relapsed that day(I know that’s wrong scientifically) just to stay consistent.
Wrote gratitude journal. Cold shower every single day morning I take.

I can’t wake up early because my body asking for more rest for recovery. Either for workout or after relapse.

I am starting today the book Reading and night journaling habit.

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Mission 2

Q. Write down reasons why you keep going back to porn and masturbation :crown:

Ans.

  1. Not Learning from Last mistake. Not Disciplined
  2. Keep thinking about Triggers I encountered today. Not distracting myself in the beginning.
  3. Alone in my private room. Got freedom to do anything especially that time I think negative things, getting depressed which brings sad emotions and I feel very bad about myself.
  4. Not doing any mindful habits properly. (Meditation and book reading)
  5. Keep on edging(wither mentally or physically) everyday.
  6. Using digital device after 11:30pm (highly dangerous/risky) for me especially when I am at home.
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3days completed :smiley:

It’s feels like I am having little extra energy inside me which unknowingly makes me happy.
If I could maintain same streak like this today and forthcoming days…
Then I am damn sure I will be very determined towards making my life better in every field. (bad habit I will quit it definitely)
Since day 1 I didn’t edge, didn’t watch any dirty pics and soft [email protected]*! Videos.
I started reading book in night. Staying hydrated and I am doing meditation(breathing exercise) alternative days. Workout (pushups) started yday.
Hoping today will pass as I did today.

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Nice man :fire:, keep going, you can do this.

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Nice nice, it’s good that you are putting efforts into leaving this trap. Hard work pays off.

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You are doing this again😑. Sleeeppp

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@Dean_Ambrose
Yday my mobile got blocked while using rewire so, I couldn’t logged out. And you might be thinking that time I was using phone.

Anyhow I completed day 4 with little bit struggle.

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I have problem (risky/dangerous) after 12am to 3am
What is the problem brother ?

Day 5 Completed…

Benefits of completion of Day 5

  1. Had morning Wood(it means I got hike in my sexual energy)
  2. Mental clearity (30-40% mental clearity I got)
  3. Emotionally involving with the circumstances. (Previously I was like numb emotionally only sadness and depression there, now I feel happiness too)
  4. Energy little increased(I can do more tasks than the day after relapse)
  5. Focus increased than usual.
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Day 6 :white_check_mark: Completed

Tbh I started getting thoughts of s*" and I can feel the energy(testosterone boosted sensation) inside me.
I started feeling bored when I sit anywhere(outside in public place) at least for 10minutes. Needs to Improve…
I started reading book which I left incomplete.
and bought new one which I will read.

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