Adidas dairy: The Road to Conquer All Fears [28M]

To be honest
I tried this Nofap many times…
But always failed… Because I never see myself that great as much people are here…
I always think…is it possible that one day I will be living addiction free life?
But there is lot of insecurity, fears, negativity inside me which suppresses my positive voices and always I can hear is “No”…

Yeah I am very lazy guy… Who spent most of the time in internet to get the entertainment…
And that… “most of the time”–> fucked up my life…

Honestly I’ve nothing to be proud on myself.
So I thought if I could make at least one good habit then I can say I am proud that I did something for myself before I gonna die…

Rest which was my dreams :sleeping::thought_balloon: which is really unrealistic to me now.
Never know how my life will be in future, if I see present life or
Even I don’t know that… am I capable to achieve all those dreams which I thought long time ago… ?

Overall if I say in short it’s that simple…

I am pretty fucked up and dont have much courage to stand up again

So, kindly give your help and support… That give me little push through.

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You have problems, what is the solution ?

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Work on your lifestyle gradually and consistently.

After few months, you should not believe that it’s you who wrote those words.

Change is the only constant thing.

Keep improving for your own good.

Regards
JumpingBuddha

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Day 1 passed


I am pretty happy today as I achieved my today’s small target.

Urges- :green_circle:

Sleep at 1am

Urges - Indicators
.
Slight urges :green_circle:
Little urges :yellow_circle:
High urges :orange_circle:
Strong :red_circle:

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You are capable of big things. Its just that fire inside you has been gone off…

And you talking about dreams?
Dreams only come teue when we work for it.

And for that… stop thinking about future. (About how and what are you going to become)
Live in the present. Your decision taken in the present moment, your hardwork done in the present moment or your timewastage done in the present moment defines your future

So live in the present and live your life upto the mark in the very present moment. Because once gone… that present moment will never come and the things you did in that gone present moment will shape your day and your future.

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As per my counter it’s 2Days passed clean.
But I don’t know why I had boner in the morning… I didn’t thought about anything wrong nor I had bad dream.

This didn’t stopped here.
My mind craves for dopamine every single minute After that, I feel like it’s asking me like a child
Buy me a chocolate… I am Hungry. :yum:
My mind keep diverting me but I forced my mind to concentrate at one place.
And I got successful too…

I know it sounds weird but
Now my mind asking me why I am not relapsing?
What actually I am missing?

I am just keeping quite let him ask… Again and again.


Everything went fine till the end of the day
Urges- :green_circle:
Feel tired after work. So going to sleep now.

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3Days passed… Clean.

last night Another bad dream. Full of dopamine.
Now I can see how damaged my brain is…
It’s just full of that thoughts :thinking::thought_balloon: and when I don’t want to think, … it’s diverting me towards it.
Actually I am not what actually my mind thinks…
I am not going to do it. And I didn’t touched myself.

Anyways I started waking up 1-2hr earlier than usual.
I will try to catch my target in habits soon.

And one more thing which I missed…
My immunity gets low after my last relapse, Body heat was gone and the cold was unbearable. Easily get sick :face_with_thermometer:

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Of course !
After relapse you lose some essential vitamin and minerals from your body brother.
Which weakens your body and your immune system, which can lead to hair loss, weight loss and getting cold easily.

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According to an experiment conducted,
Dr. Steven told us about the nutritional value of 1 tablespoon semen :
• 2 pieces of New York Stakes
• 10 eggs
• 6 oranges
• 2 lemons
• Zinc

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What’s the “New York Stakes” Btw? @rewire_user

Btw I know we loose protein, zinc, fats & vitamins(don’t know exactly which).

So if we want to increase testestrone then we should take zinc & protein more… & regular diet+water

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Even I don’t know that bro :sweat_smile::rofl:

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Day 0
I relapsed last night. urges :red_circle:
I waited for long time to think which is right and which is wrong but somehow my clever neurons convinced me that it’s better to relapse without watching any explicit video content.
And I did.
So, after I relapsed I didn’t feel tiredness and loose of energy.
Even after waking up I am almost normal.
No sign of any weakness.

Don’t know why exactly I am feeling like that?

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Dont get caught in chaser , otherwise u will notice decrease in your energy .

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I think yday I came around 11:30pm, just washed my face and freshen up. And then had call conversation with one of my colleague. And then when I sat for dinner I saw it’s around 12:30am… And still we are on call.
I ate dinner and went to sleep around 1:15-20am I think, (no phone use… Just went to sleep after lying on bed… So no more urges yday)
Today I wake up at 11:22am…
I feel like I should change the habit of waking up early…
I am becoming lazy day by day.
And I think soon my shift will change so it will help me to wake up early as well as I can add some habits (which I am not doing at all)
May be I am too afraid to start one habit.
Today when I wake up we don’t have electricity at home so I missed my breakfast. I always use to take banana shake in the morning. Which is good for health.
Just had brunch… Few hours ago.
Everything is pending as I wake up late…

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Dude @Adidas2201 we are all struggling together I am completing day 3 today without a single urge… join me we will do together.

Also strictly avoid phone laptop after 10 or 11 it will drastically help and read something till your eyes go tired to sleep this will surely help as it alters the thought process and no question of urges as mind has no distractions. This is the best habit.This is the best solution for urges at night.

And yeah obviously read productive stuff and not something that will tingle the urges, fantasies and imagination :rofl:

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I think I already explained above @chelex
that I came home after 11:30pm I think y’day (it’s ususal time to come home from work around 11:30pm or 12am)

Sadly I would say that I relapsed… twice
I thought to sleep early but at the time of dinner I was watching some movie…
Kind of romantic(13+ age movie)… No scenes there…
So after watching half movie I induge in other activities… And suddenly my mind started fantasizing… It’s like I was day dreaming with open eyes/hallucination… All that is imagination.
And once I lost connection… I feel hard down there.
I tried to bring it down so that I sleep early. When I was lying on bed, I was not getting sleep… So I thought I should continue same movie… But now I was checking the suggestions… Urges getting higher and higher…
I thought I just peek and sleep so that whatever my mind asking he get it one sided. But when I was peeking I by mistaken I forgot that I was edging. And suddenly relapsed.
Once I relapsed… After few minutes my mind asked me for another shot. And it give me reason too that it’s not bad as I already relapsed what’s wrong in doing once more.
And I know it’s bad but I feel like i am hypnotised…!

To be honest, I was missing my office work today… I didn’t went because I have home related work. Wasted whole day outside or in verbal fights with parents & siblings.
Now I am remembering all those advices you guys gave me. Sorry I will start again.

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@Adidas2201 Don’t Lose Hope brother, You are a lot stronger then you think. Keep yourself busy thats the keep and be determined and If there is a slightest chance that you are free then start reading the book “the easy peasy hackbook by allen carc”.
Don’t sit Idle brother
Stay strong.
Next Year we are all gonna get freed from this addiction
We are all together in this brother.

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I thought to read this book but anyhow I will use my mobile to read all these books.

If I use my mobile after 12am then it’s definitely a relapse.
I knew this but I did same mistake again.

I don’t know why I am doing same mistake again and again. :disappointed::persevere:

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Learn from yours Nd others mistakes.

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