Accepting that I watch porn

I feel like I have this secret with myself that is hiding under the sheets and just because I don’t let it out much is taking advantage of the secret and ultimately hurting me only so Yes I accept that I have a problem a bad problem that is Watching porn.

Why do I do it?
I do it out of a compulsive behaviour I have for 7 years now ie when I was 14 I started watching porn and masturbating. I get curious mostly about that scene that feels like love ie the girl is loving it and then I go to watch that particular scene.

What are the harmful effects did it have over me?

  1. I can complete the challenges I’ve set up for myself but currently I’m just being a man of intention with no action supporting it. And I want to be the guy who has both intention and actions to back it up.
  2. I have erectile dysfunction. I notice it ( so a backdrop, previously I used to watch porn everynight masturbate to it and then go to sleep I had this belief that porn helps me sleep but now I know that it’s bullshit people use that coz it’s such a heavy unhealthy dose of dopamine that body looses alot of energy and brain is fucked when that does is given, secondly just coz I used to waste 2 hrs of time glues to porn eyes used to get so tired that there was no other option. Since then uptill last month I had reduced the porn quota to 4 times a month but still there was this binge of 2-3 time when I used watch. Now it’s (4 times porn and 5 times masturbation) but I’ve made it that I don’t masturbate again after a relapse.
  3. It gave me more acne coz I was so much in mental fog that I didn’t take care of myself. My physique tho now better is very lean and my nutrition is fucked up. So in Physical status I’m somewhere in the middle and I don’t accept that I want to improve it to atleast 9 what would that be like? No acne spots atleast on face, better face hygiene that is facial routine. Daily exercise (6 days workout and 1 day 15000 steps and 100 pushup, 100 squats) Nutrition to be improved is to have a written down plan and follow it for 90 days.
  4. I have a lusty mind ie moral status is down too coz of thoughts of sex and talking to girls polluting it. Tho I don’t consider it bad coz I’m a guy but atleast I’d want to be the master of my sexual appetite and not have a swollen up one that makes me want it everyday.
  5. I’m in 5/10 in sticking to a plan and that’s got to improve.

What do I want?
I want to not look at porn for 90 days, Not masturbate for 40 days.
How will I do that?
All triggers I will delete now ie I’m already not on insta or Facebook what I’d like to do it reduce time on reddit.and delete all pictures from my phone tho I don’t have any😆

Time frame set is 90 days

What will I do insteay of watching porn or masturbating?

If I feel an urge in the afternoon I will do a 50 pushups,stretch exercise, and take a nap of 20 min.
If I feel an urge in the evening I’ll just go and exercise and then meditate and do wim hof (which is my general routine) tho I want to have a fixed routine of 50 pushups when ever the urge comes up.
If it’s at night same I will do 50 pushups 10*5 coz thatd take more time hah. Then stretch and go to sleep

I have a routine where my phone shuts off at 8:30 so no problem

Every night I will read my why from my copy and in the evening after all done I will post here about how my day went and what did I do when the urge came up.
I have alot of energy and I will cultivate that mindset

4 Likes

Currently I have these problems. :point_up_2:

Help me

1 Like

are you OK friend? it’s gonna be okay

If I analyse I am pretty fucked up.
My body getting weaker day by day.
My short term memory loss
I can’t do multi tasking.
My diet gone poor day by day.

If I let my thoughts out of my head then I don’t wanna live but small part of my body still want to struggle.

1 Like

what is your age son?

See brother adidas I’ve been through this too just keep on going don’t give much heed to the relapse but develop accountability that’s what I’ve learned. Ik it feels shitty but remember you always have a choice.

2 Likes

Sept 26 2020
Today was kind of hectic I cleaned my laptop and deleted unnecessary files that were clogging up my disk.
Took up a few challenge with myself ie

  1. Getting up at 6:30 am everyday no matter what.(sleep at 10:30)
  2. No fap 90 days as said above( will put up a refined plan tomorrow.) (It includes accountability ie posting here and on nofap more, setting up my morning routine with focusing on my mental health and face mask, and having a nap every after noon at 2:20 for 20 min and then in the evening loudly reciting my goal and what my intention is for the 90 days and why am I doibg those ie what is my core values that are reflected by taking up this challenge.)
  3. To read 22 books this year ie by Jan (it will help me to gain more insight into what can be improved and how. And I enjoy books too

I had a few lustful thoughts today in the evening went for a drink with my best friend. I’ve noticed that while planning for life,life passes from our grip so I will live more.

My age is about to 28yr (next month 28yr completes)
@Marcio why you asked my age?

@Ritesh_k99 thnq for your advice. Fella

1 Like

In our culture, we don’t advise people older than ourselves. Young people learn from old people, that’s how it is in Brazil. I just wanted to know our friend’s age. Only that. A strong hug my kind friend

3 Likes

I am 21 years old sir

1 Like

Brother if you’d like we can talk over it. Add me up and text
inf11p

1 Like