I have just lost my 19 days… almost 20 days streak. Oh God, It was a good try but help me overcome this.
Reason: The same 3 reasons- Stress, Lack of self control and Boredom.
Remedy measures: The same measures but I need to be disciplined at implimenting them. Just a little more push, a little more self-control and I would have come out clean.
I really hope this was the last pmo.
For 21 days:
1.No Social media
2.No Youtube ( except for educational purposes)
3.Just get deeply involved in my work ( perhaps this is also an escape but a healthy one).
Atleast for 21 days. I can do it and I must do it.
I can feel you bro… its a good sign… now you will rise up…
We all have to die in our minds to finaly realise our goals.
Its time for some discipline.
Prepare some daily tasks and keep yourself motivated.
Keep on trying again & again.
TODAY I TAKE THE VOW OF CELIBACY FOR ONE YEAR.
I WON’T FAIL THIS TIME!!
My Ideal- Lord Krishna who took extreme penance and celibacy for 6 years from his 16th to 22nd year.
Day 30: I have become an Archduke .
It’s only the beginning!
Will get busy with my goals and works and other forms of healthy entertainment and recreation, and will update every now and then when I would feel it necessary.
Day 36- Today I have broken my record of 35 days which was achieved 2 years back in 2016 around the month of august. I can do it!!!
I quit smoking and drinking as well as weeds which I used to take with my friends. But this was the biggest menace which I could never get rid off. But today I think I have grown as a person and am so happy for this day. That satanic and vile thing really needed to get away from my life. I will never ever go back to that debilitating drug. It cost me my health, energy, power, strength, oppurtunities, friends and what not…all for momentary perverted pleasure and escape. Just like smoking cigarettes and weeds which I won’t touch again in this life, pmo is a thing of my ugly past. I will never touch these poisons again. It’s just a common sense decision. Moreover, as a self- healing and self-purification process, I have taken the vow of celibacy for one year i.e. till the end of this year. God bless me!!
Because I couldn’t cope with the flatline. Oh man, it was so terrible. I didn’t feel great during this 39 days unlike during my other good streak days.
I would always feel drained and tired and I would sleep a lot. It was just so terrible. Lastly, I just gave up and took to pmo as a coping mechanism, for pleasure, for relieving the accumulated stress, to feel alive again This was the main reason.
But I am glad I made to Day 39 atleast. I will not give up and will overcome this this time.
My vow of celibacy for one year would be accomplished this time.
Day 3- This morning there were terrible pain all over my body and energy level is as well terribly low. I guess it’s the effect of my last relapse. It always is. For Day 1 or even day 2 I would feel calm and just kind of content and then from Day 3, the relapse starts showing it’s true effects on my body and spirit. Hallelujah, I will always keep this in mind during my urge to relapse during a possible flatline in the days to come.
I will break this cycle with absolute ruthlessness this time. Not looking back.