Day 30
walking distance increased… now i dont feel shame in who i am… i want to fly with my wings wide open in the sky.
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DAY 33 My Defeat
I breaked down in front of sexual thoughts. I yielded to their suggesstions. I put the words in search box and watched hot videos. Then i stoped. As i goes to bed for sleeping. The thoughts become more aggressive and it was very hard to shut their mouth. I again took to their suggesstions. Went to bathroom and watched more videos. Then masturbated and ejaculated. I relapsed 2 times after that. … a total of 3 orgasms.
Today at day 0 i am feeling the effects. My all energy is gone… a little bit of rewiring is left with me. Sleeping dose has been increased … again to 1/2 of the dose.
I am ready to fight again for my freedom
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Day 1 Only Wiring has left
Today i went outside for walking as it was in my routine. Thanks to the 32 days streak… i was normal outside… but i felt i have lost big power. I am not the half man i used to be before when i was on the streak. I was not enjoying … i was just pushing my dead body along the road. Now, i will keep my routine which i had build on the streak… and work my way back again… to move forward in life. The thrist for Hard Mode has ignited again. I am looking forward to achieving great heights of joy in my life.
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@Sahas why are you giving up in front of urges. If you’ve extreme urges then why you don’t tell about it to your partner, I think she surely help you and if you want to give up then why you don’t sex with your partner atleast it make more sense than this shit.
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She was not at home & she is not interested in my stories anymore because it has been 2 years… she has watched me fail again & again. So many promises broken. She thinks … i am forever doomed and can never get out of this addiction circle. Well ! I have to prove many people wrong including my mind.
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Well , in this situation you’ve to prove yourself bro and I know that oneday you and me will get out of this addiction because it’s just a dark night , a bright day is waiting for us…so don’t lose hope. We will get up and win this battle 
we’re warriors and warriors won’t give up until their death.
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Sahas, first of all, congratulations on making your personal best of 32 days on hard mode. Not all progress will be lost with this new streak. 
I will not dwell on the negatives; you know very well how much your life will be improved when PMO is behind you. That is why we are all here.
You have been a powerful voice of encouragement and support in this community. People have reached their highest ever streaks in groups you have created. We are watching and waiting eagerly for that day when we see Leonidas next to a huge 90-day reboot sign!
It’s time to give it everything you have. No excuses. Find the root cause that has kept bringing you back to PMO and remove it. Make a vision of your life of freedom and reflect on it daily. That name…Resurrection…Resurgent…It’s time to be reborn!
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Thanks @Forerunner for your support & motivation.
Yes, 32 days streak benefits me a lot. I had Rewired myself. From staying at home all days to daily going outside, i have changed a lot. Now, although i had 3 orgasms but i am going outside daily… the habits which i had built are with me.
I know what i have lost … and this understanding of loss is further motivating me to do hard mode for all my life. I have hit a jackpot during my streak… i have tasted powers of Brahmacharya/ hard mode. I want more & more now. I am ready to fight for my better life until death.
From now, sky is the limit… i am ready to fly.
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You are a piece of work!!!
Didnt get your idiom… can you say it … in simple words.
He means you are amazing (at sex)
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DAY 13
I am very happy. My social anxiety is almost gone. I am on brink of quiting sleeping drugs. Brain Fog significantly reduced. Dopamine healing.
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This is beautiful! Keep going strong brother! 
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DAY 14
Rewiring at fast rate. No tension in body.
I can feel myself breathing.
I feel love and negative emotions of other person.
I want my children to grow in atmosphere of love, peace & serenity.
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The Reward
Day 16
When i completed my all tasks… an eruption of euphoria happened. I got energy + euphoria. My dopamine are healing and i am truly Rewiring… Rebooting… and it has begun.
After doing hard work… you get your High… The Reward…From your natural source. … The best feeling in the world… better than orgasm.
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DAY 17
Flatline Balls popping
Today my confidence was low… anxiety was there but i accept it as a part of the process & healing. Some day you wont feel happy & confident … that day … accept yourself… do your work & tasks… this is life… ups & downs… but slowly & steady we move forward…
Flatlines are blessings in disguise… It is where the Healing beguns…
In flatlines… you have to continue your routines and work. Physical excercise helps in boosting your mood.
Ball Popping. This is a new experience. My balls vibrate and pop sometimes… like something is going on in the balls… whatever it is… i leave it to the body. I think its good for me… whatever is happenning. No need to worry. I am in hands of god now.
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How are you doing Resurgent?
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I am feeling Alive Again.
How are you, my friend ?
DAY 19
Their Eyes are Beautiful
How should i tell you that what is going on in my life… i am relaxed… i have peace & meditation… eyes contact is my new benefit. All of a sudden i am looking at eyes of every human which passes in front of me… it gives me some sort of comfort. I am reading their faces… their emotions… Some Eyes have that sharpness… some eyes are dull… some faces are happy… some are full of fear…
As i am moving outside daily… i am getting used to the crowd & traffic. My focus is on my tasks & i am getting good at everything… like some evolution is going on in me… or my seeds are becoming flowers… sexual transmutation… sounds good.
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DAY 22
Tears are Boon
Yesterday i had Flatline… and things got heavy on me… but i accept it. As usual i did my work although i was not feeling anything good but i welcomed it. In evening i workout as usual.
At night i become emotional and i cried. I said all those things which were bothering me… to my wife. Actualy the real story was … the previous night my wife was horny and she tried to stimulate me… but i just wanted to talk… i didnt like all this… i said to her … come to your senses. Like a child … i found her actions… dirty. She whispered in my ear… that she want sex tonight… its been long.
I told her… Yes… i am going to do it for you… but i got no interest in this act … I have understand one thing after all these years… Desires cant be fulfilled… they are always there… but in the process… we lose ourself… we lose the precious energy… which otherwise can be used to find The Truth… Biggest secrets of Life… to go beyond …
But still i insisted… i can do it for you.
All my struggle… All my powers will be in danger … I may fall back to where i had started…
This time may never come back again… This is my shot… i got the biggest oppurtunity of my life… i cant lose it now… Sorry…
She was clearly ashamed of herself … as she felt insulted… i clearly read her face… So we go back to sleep that night.
Yesterday night… i cried and i told her my feelings that her behaviour is not good towards me. She listened to me and console me… She told me that… Its okay… we can sacrifice it… for the greater good. She loves me afterall…
I noticed that after crying i felt light… my all stress melt away…and i slept good. i find tears are a boon to us… thats why kids cry when they feel stressed
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