Hi everyone,
I’m Neil, a 45 year old male and I’ve been struggling with porn/masturbation for decades.
I have developed a form of phimosis, and also have ED/impotence (only very rarely do I even get an erection).
It’s been very tough as over the years dating has been brutal as the woman feels she’s not sexy enough or that I’m just not into her, or once she finds out about my ED problem I’m on my own.
Now I shy away from relationships altogether as I don’t want the pain of more rejection when we’re getting intimate etc. (I was suffering from severe depression and currently still suffer from debilitating nightly panic attacks). I don’t have a girlfriend nor wife/kids etc. So if I don’t resolve this issue, I’m worried I’ll be on my own for the rest of my life.
I never realized the neurological damage years of porn has been causing.
I think the max I’ve gone without masturbating is 11 days (when I did a 10 day Vipassana retreat many years ago).
I try my best to stop but even sometimes TV shows can get me going and the urges come back and I get very upset with myself when I give in to them.
I’m hoping this community and the app can help me as its a daily battle. I truly want to free myself of porn addiction and all the havoc it’s wreaking on my dopamine receptors, and my life in general.
I’ve read some of the comments and they truly are inspiring, some of you have dramatically improved your life. I aim to be one of those people.
If anyone has any suggestions/tips/pdf’s/resources on how best to go about this (especially how not to relapse) I be keen to hear from you.
Also I’m not sure how the partnering thing works, but it would be great to meet and get and give support to others here. If anyone is keen to partner up, please reach out, I’d be more than happy to.
In the meantime, I wish all of you an amazing day/evening wherever in the world you may be.
Take care
Neil.