[35 M] Foggyeye's journal

Hi all,
This is going to be my main journal here
Sharing my struggle, successes and failures

Starting now after my 3rd relapse on wed 11/4/2020
May this be the last day wasted of my life
I’m 35m, still living with my parents
Been through some stuff
Had some good and bad times

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3rd relapse today
I was watching a movie on the laptop while laying trying to chill and relax which of coarse never really happens ending up relapsing as so many times before and making my very first entry here…

Being stressed about some stuff I had to do
Probably postpone them for later on

Being here again and again
Funny hope strange life can be…
I’ve next thought I’d call myself seen addict… Ever but… Here I’m…

Feeling kinda dizzy…
Probably avoiding human contact for the rest of the day

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Omg 35? Don’t ever relapse save it, you need it for your future… Also which country are you from?
Never ever relapse bro…

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Treat no fap seriously. Change your life for the better.

Thanks man
Though this not a question I feel comfortable sharing

35 - 25 - 65 - 15… Does it matter? Who cares?

Welcome on board! You are here to betterment, and we are here to support you :muscle:

See you at the top!

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Today my head feels like exploding after yesterday’s 3 relapses
I think Dilemmas on purchasing stuff around my everyday life are used as an tool subconsciously to keep the addiction cycle going…
I’m not really buying anything I’m just doing a really long research and the meantime I find myself relapsing.
Usually on the same spots… Day after day

I was supposed to meet some people for work today…
I was telling myself that I should not your love so I can have a clear mind and successful but in the end as it turns out I’m even worse situation as far as concerns brain fog…

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Back with my parents in my low 30s, too. Just wanted to say you’re not alone. Be strong. Sexual energy and libido are power. They are forces. They propel you forward. Without them, you’re empty. Stripped of all magic.

I bought an app that completely locks my phone down. Got rid of ALL internet access but for phone. Not even a personal pc.

Be vigilant, be well, be angry. Be angry with yourself. Hate yourself. Dont forget, dont let go. You must fight every second of every day. If you forget, you slip back into habit. Never forget. Always fight.

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How do you fell now?

3 days clean and I’ve just had my first mood swing once again
Remembering all the shit that’s happened in my life resulting to a false cycle
One step again with less fog…
Found a quite place… Let it all out
Tomorrow is another day

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It will pass and day after day you will be feel stronger.