(32 M) Sdom´s Rewire Journey

I’m on my 10 day PMO clean. The urges are constantly, not specific situations but all day long. I think it’s all about this… learn how to live with this addiction and hope that with time it will turning off.

I see people and I picture them naked, does it happen to somebady ? Thats how porn have my mind completely turn on into a hyper sexualised mind.

It’s important to understand what sexuality it’s really about.

1 Like

Yesterday something great happened to me.

This week was a mess, I am not happy at all with my work. Especially yesterday that I was very frustrated with some tasks.

So, as I’m used to scape this situations, I decided to search erotic images in my phone. I know when I do this it end it on hardporn… it’s a common trigger. Anyway, I was looking on some girls almost nude or with artistic nudes… then, as always, appeared porn images in the banners. Also a porn web opens. And I said to my self: “you don’t want this, I like real sex and this is not”. Even those images seemed kind of disturbing this time and I thought “this is not the sex I want”. Then I said to myself: "Ok I am clearly stressed, but, is it PMO a good way to calm the stress ? Clearly not, actually, makes thing even more difficult. I know I can force my mind to see porn and in just about seconds I can be turn on. I’ve done that so many times in the past. Do I really want that?, and then feel like shit as always? ". So I closed the webpage and returned to my duties.

I’m on my 18 day. My biggest streak. I’m happy because I realized that to control my PMO addiction, first I have to be conscious about the stress moments and learn how to beat them.

I’ve been absent since May. No because I’m doing well precisely, actually I’ve been doing a lot of PMO.

I went on a holiday so I got distracted, and after that I’ve been watching porn almost once a week, that’s quite a lot for me. So now Im so fuckin tired of PMO, AND I REALLY NEED TO TAKE IT OUT OF MY HEAD.

How long do I need of abstinence so I can at forget ir and live free ?

With my wife we want to have a baby soon, and I definitely don’t want to start that journey with this addiction, at least not at this level. So I really want to start the fight again.

I remember in my first post I said:

  • Every day I will read something that help me to keep clean. there’s plenty of good material.
  • write my new feelings of this journey and meditate it about how I feel
  • star tracking the days and say thanks to me for everyday of success struggle

So I’m back in the game. I restarted the entire tracking in the app.

1 Like

My last post was on OCT 2019. Since then I have been doing PMO on average 1 time per week. I’ve been in this for 15 years, I’m desperate. I hope I can get over this addiction once and for all. I feel really bad for lying to my wife. It affects my sexual life. Now that I have a daughter, I am even more ashamed of my situation.

Here I go again. DAY 0