My bad… I just fucked up my streak.
It was my first try with NO FAP. 39 days isn’t so bad for a first try…
It was just masturbation, without porn.
This relapse started yesterday when I discovered a ball on my left testicle! I got very afraid! I thought it could be cancer or a tumour. I thought it could be because of semen retention. Today, I checked my testicle to see if this ball was still there. It didn’t… Then I checked my erection quality… I started to masturbate to get an erection… And I relapse stupidly! In a few minutes. It was like a frenzy.
Now I’ve to take responsibility for this stupid experience and I’ve to learn lessons.
New rule to succeed with this 90-days challenge: NEVER NEVER NEVER TOUCH MY DICK! Exceptions to piss and to take a shower.
I’m a little bit disappointed, but I know this journey is not an easy one. I realized how bad effects had masturbation on my sexuality. It’s a “MUST” to reboot my brain and my penis sensations!
My life isn’t easy for this moment. I’m still looking for a job. I’m struggling with finances. And my relationship with my girlfriend is horrible! I have lost almost 20lbs.
I feel like I’m lost in this universe. It’s why I’ve to take a new very important habit: praying!
Without God, I’ll not succeed. I’ll not create the life that I deserve.