@anon67854825 Thanks man. Thatās definitely something I want to work on - treating and looking after myself.
I really enjoy reading - I could do more reading for fun instead of educational. I like to dance and listen to good music but I hardly do that. I really like cake Iāve been worried about going back to old junk food habits but a treat now and again wouldnāt hurt.
Iāll think more about this. Itās a different mindset to what I had in the past; I did things more out of habit than because I enjoyed them, so I spent loads of time watching senseless TV and playing video games which I didnāt even care about completing.
I love cake too. Cake is awesome, Thanks be to God, truly
Thank you for creating the person who delights in making a good cake, so that we can delight in the creation and say āwow, this is good cakeāā¦ ānom nom nomā
I love Maria Callas the great Opera singer.
She brings tears to my eyes, I very rarely listen to her because I never want to tire of her beauty.
If I could choose a fragrance for you itād be Versace Man - because its wise, mature, gentle, confident, yet humbly light.
Sweet masculinity, made for Great Kings.
I love Versace The Dreamer, because it is exactly that if you want to know what Lucid dreams smell like, itās definitely that one.
@anon67854825 Yes, thank GOD for cake and those who prepare it!
I think part of my journey should include some healthy exploration into other activities as well - I donāt know much about opera or fragrances, but Iām interested in finding out more.
More changes are needed. I grew into the person capable of passing 90 days, now I must grow into the one who can pass a year. Two years. Five years.
One day at a time. Thank GOD Iām still standing. Iāve had to swallow some harsh truths. Iām grateful for my friends and companions. One friend has suggested that I stop using YouTube. Manā¦itās barely been a day and thatās seriously difficult. YouTube has been a staple food since 2009. But Iām here to recover fully.
It is never worth it @Forerunner. If I could take back every relapse Iāve ever done, i would. Then that would mean I would be my full self. But if I were to be relapsing everyday again Iād want to die honestly. Porn isnāt good no matter how you look at it. Stay strong brother.
@tuku Thatās what itās there for! Always feel free to share your urges in the group - itās international so someone will likely be online to help you.
@Sacred Thank you, bro. It really isnāt worth it. Life is so much richer without it in our lives. I donāt want to come close to it again. Iām taking steps every day to make sure that doesnāt happen. I canāt even bear to think of all the years wasted in PMO, but looking towards the future gives me great hope. The future can be beautiful by GODās Grace.
Though my mood is much better than it was in the PMO days, I can feel it has gone down since those videos on YouTube. I could feel the effects of the chaser effect hitting me today; stronger urges and the desire to backslide. Lust is not something I can afford to entertain in my life. There has been much joy, love and peace in my life recently, and I donāt want to go back to feeling miserable and hating my existence.
Iāve done some contemplation and realised that many of my past relapses started on YouTube. I would gradually increase to more explicit material until my streak didnāt feel clean anymore, and Iād then go back to the usual websites. Itās good to be learning how to deal with this aspect of my recovery.
Iāve started another version of my Power over Pornography course. Itās 8-10 hours spread out over the next 21 days, but itās more than worth it to help me get back on track. I also want to follow the advice Iāve been given and find more healthy ways to relax and enjoy myself. Also, I want to write down how Iām feeling and investigate that as I did at the start of my streak.
Iām thankful for the journey. I might have fallen back to zero on the path I was on before.
I secured a new job today - much better than my current one. Thank GOD for new beginnings!
Iāve been listening to Fight The New Drugās new podcast Consider Before Consuming. Stories from world-class psychologists to famous professional athletes who struggled with the addiction to ex-actresses in the industry have only added to my resolve to continue on this journey.
It is the same course material as in the book. The main differences are that itās in video format, and that it is more intensive - the whole course is covered in 21 days instead of 42, so you are working on it every day or every second day. It is busy, but I needed to bring more commitment to my journey.
If you are following the book, you will learn the lessons needed. The book is what helped me get past 90 days with GODās Help, along with support and advice from my friends and companions.
I listened this Lamar Podcast. He was saying that he started jerking off to porn at 14 yrs of age plus he had sex & cocaine addictions.
I am confused about one thing ā¦ How the hell he was able to win 2 titles in NBA. From where did he get this energy to play basketball at international level. Was it due to drugs !
Iāve been worried about going back to old junk food habits but a treat now and again wouldnāt hurt.
