[28]Adioz Diary

@Tagore
I am doing workouts even though I relapsed that day(I know that’s wrong scientifically) just to stay consistent.
Wrote gratitude journal. Cold shower every single day morning I take.

I can’t wake up early because my body asking for more rest for recovery. Either for workout or after relapse.

I am starting today the book Reading and night journaling habit.

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very true :point_up:
Mindfulness I have to work on.

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Mission 2

Q. Write down reasons why you keep going back to porn and masturbation :crown:

Ans.

  1. Not Learning from Last mistake. Not Disciplined
  2. Keep thinking about Triggers I encountered today. Not distracting myself in the beginning.
  3. Alone in my private room. Got freedom to do anything especially that time I think negative things, getting depressed which brings sad emotions and I feel very bad about myself.
  4. Not doing any mindful habits properly. (Meditation and book reading)
  5. Keep on edging(wither mentally or physically) everyday.
  6. Using digital device after 11:30pm (highly dangerous/risky) for me especially when I am at home.
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3days completed :smiley:

It’s feels like I am having little extra energy inside me which unknowingly makes me happy.
If I could maintain same streak like this today and forthcoming days…
Then I am damn sure I will be very determined towards making my life better in every field. (bad habit I will quit it definitely)
Since day 1 I didn’t edge, didn’t watch any dirty pics and soft [email protected]*! Videos.
I started reading book in night. Staying hydrated and I am doing meditation(breathing exercise) alternative days. Workout (pushups) started yday.
Hoping today will pass as I did today.

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Nice man :fire:, keep going, you can do this.

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Nice nice, it’s good that you are putting efforts into leaving this trap. Hard work pays off.

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You are doing this again😑. Sleeeppp

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@Dean_Ambrose
Yday my mobile got blocked while using rewire so, I couldn’t logged out. And you might be thinking that time I was using phone.

Anyhow I completed day 4 with little bit struggle.

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I have problem (risky/dangerous) after 12am to 3am
What is the problem brother ?

Day 5 Completed…

Benefits of completion of Day 5

  1. Had morning Wood(it means I got hike in my sexual energy)
  2. Mental clearity (30-40% mental clearity I got)
  3. Emotionally involving with the circumstances. (Previously I was like numb emotionally only sadness and depression there, now I feel happiness too)
  4. Energy little increased(I can do more tasks than the day after relapse)
  5. Focus increased than usual.
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Day 6 :white_check_mark: Completed

Tbh I started getting thoughts of s*" and I can feel the energy(testosterone boosted sensation) inside me.
I started feeling bored when I sit anywhere(outside in public place) at least for 10minutes. Needs to Improve…
I started reading book which I left incomplete.
and bought new one which I will read.

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You can do it. Keep yourself busy, personally I keep myself busy with the important work that needs to be done regarding work or personal life.

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Lesson I’ve to learn from my last Relapse: :point_down:

  1. Sleeping before 12am is must(No compromise).
  2. Mobile - i must block(by keep me out app) before 11:45pm.(No Unblocking by restarting mobile)
  3. Don’t sleep in tight clothes.
  4. No touching pvt. parts (especially in night) without any solid purpose(like pee). Not even when I have Morning woods.
  5. Edging must be “BIGG NO” in this journey.

"BIGG NO :x: for :point_down:

  • PMO- No edging/No just one Peek
  • Objectifying - within 5sec distract yourself.
  • Watching erotic content(intentionally)
  • S*xting (NO conversation which will increase your inner urge/trigger you)
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I found it helpful for becoming more mindful. :person_in_lotus_position:

So I am sharing it here in my diary

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I feel it’s helpful for me. So, I shared it here.

@ERNOL 's valuable Words_ :point_down:

Since it can be hard to be productive on bad day( feeling down, demotivated etc)
On those days i adopt “non zero day policy".

A zero day is when you don’t do the tasks you’ve set. (Therefore, unproductive day).

A “non zero day policy” is when you do your tasks even if the amount is small. Point here is to at least do the task. For example,

On a normal day, someone set his goal to exercise 30 minutes.
On bad day, even if he doesn’t want he decides to do 15 minutes exercise. (Therefore making it non zero day)
I consider “non zero day” to be productive day. Since he is still making progress/doing the task, never stopping.

It has 2 benefit: :point_down:

Your progress does not stop. It may have slowed down. But you are progressing. Progress builds up and makes achievement.
protect yourself from unproductivity. This technique ensures unproductivity has no way to make an entrance in your life even when you are vulnerable.

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Day 5 Completed :white_check_mark:

One thing I want to remind myself about today’s day… :point_down:

Today was very very very Busy day for me.
Just Imagine if I was relapsing every single day like earlier.
Then I would be fired, out of the company.
Why company hire us?.. to do their work,… if I don’t have energy to do any work, then I am useless to them. right?
So, :smiley: :man_dancing:

Every single time I should be grateful–> for “Food”, I am eating, “Water”, I am drinking. “Health Body”, which helps me to do any work

By relapsing I am just throwing my energy out of my body and calling diseases to attack me(because my immunity power might get low)

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Day 4 completed
Badge: Settler
New badge about to unlock :closed_lock_with_key:

Now a days it’s easier to pass 3days, previously I stuck in relapse cycle of 2days. But I don’t deny that 1st day after relapse, I must be better careful, if I relapse then I will go back to previous cycle of relapse.
From last 3days I was experiencing some heat sensation down there. Which feels like I am having an urge. Sometimes I got confused.
But I won’t fap.and I won’t give up easily… I try to beat my old record of staying clean.

Kindly support me as much as you can.

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I think when you are having urges, say to yourself and convince yourself that you have already done last pmo/peeking/edging session of your life and there is no going back now.

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I just kept this to realize before I fall under any situation which will trigger me to reset my counter.

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