[26 M] Growing Up

Yes brother! :100::fire::white_check_mark:

1 Like

I shall update regularly on weekends from now on (meanwhile I’ve got a notepad which I write in daily so I’ll have content to share when weekend comes). Also I’ll refrain from lurking/commenting/etc on Rewire Forums until my words gather formidable weight/value and that will come when I reach 90 days. So, until then I’m limiting myself to this thread alone.

Presently on Day 3… identifying (and reminding oneself of) a relapse is important, this is what I consider one:
P - porn
E - edging
M - masturbating
O - orgasm
S - sex

Most of my efforts will be active e.g. having good overall fitness, studying, etc. I’ll also be documenting formation of good habits. Cheers all, until the weekend!!

I cleared 7 days and now I feel that my words once again, have some value so here are my reflections:

  • two days after my last post, I relapsed

  • excuses ranged from - (1) binging on Easy Peasy Audiobook that evoked strong feelings of negativity and hopelessness (that I wasnt prepared for), (2) wanting to do a killer 45min David Goggins guided workout on Saturday for which I took the entire week basically off my normal fitness plan to “rest”, (3) overthinking about the study program instead of studying, (4) lying about my life and my progress to others, to myself, (5) and I used Diwali to mark the beginning of a new streak.

  • Since beginning my new streak, I have (1) done the David Goggins 45min guided workout (every single rep except substituting 115 normal pushups with knee pushups to get through it haha), (2) recovered for the next 3 days with my baseline fitness activity, (3) invested in super healthy diet, (4) actually began studying, (5) listened to Feynman’s audiobook (tickles my mind in a way that it makes me remember and feel like myself before pmo and simply wonderful), (6) much more actually organized, clean, and efficient rather than simply organized chaos, (7) more transparent with what I am doing (with myself and my family) at any given time of the day, (8) much more composed discussing incendiary topics, (9) beginning to feel moments of fulfilment with how much I accomplished in a day, and in front of the accountability mirror, (10) actually have and enjoy spending my free time with family.

Challenges for week 2 (next post at day 14)

  • curb unnecessarily involved on forums and social media (telegram, discord, whatsapp)
  • cautiously finish Easy Peasy Audiobook
  • unhoard all the collected garbage by (i) deleting/trashing it, (ii) tackling it in the present moment, (iii) scheduling it for the near future - this next qeek marks the end of the shuffling era i.e. no more BS organizing, no more mindless inputs/outputs/downloads/uploads/timewasting and stealing time from the future
  • plan the day ahead on the night before
  • ultimately, run like a perpetual motion machine (PMM) in the right direction and keep track of the progress to report November 27th, 2020.

Thats all folks! Paaaaaarapapapapapapapa

1 Like

Time to get serious. I’ve got some deadlines to reach and I need stability in my routine. This is what I’ve been seeking ultimately and the history of this diary shows my various attempts/methods to achieve it. This is not just another one of those ways… this will be The Way as far as I can manage. Tweaking will occur but no major changes until mid January (at which point my classes resume and this will continue in a less rigid format).

  • Always have something to do or somewhere to be (even during free time)
  • No hard deadlines so all times are approximate to plus/minus 30min
  • All electronic-usage is recorded and banned in bedroom/bathroom/free-times
  • Finish all workouts before lunch, track diet and update health metrics
  • Plan the day ahead on the night before with major focus on studies/career

Legend
:white_check_mark: finished it; yes
:o:started but did NOT finish
:x: never started; no
:exclamation: needs attention

25 Nov 2020

:x: proper electronic usage y’day
:o: drafted today’s plan, last night
:white_check_mark: had sufficient sleep last night
:x: rise before sunrise 0613
:white_check_mark: track and achieve diet goals
:o: workout finished before lunch
:white_check_mark: diary report before sunset 1632
:o: read/notes PSC till page 100
:o: academic plan for Spring 2021

image

2 Likes

26 Nov 2020

2 :x: proper electronic usage y’day (I tend to fall asleep looking at stuff on my phone)
:x: drafted today’s plan, last night (I “knew” what had to be done but I didn’t record it)
:white_check_mark: had sufficient sleep last night
:white_check_mark: rise before sunrise 0614
:white_check_mark: track and achieve diet goals (exceptional day)
2 :o: workout finished before lunch (most of it was, but no cigar)
:exclamation: diary report before sunset 1632 (change time to right before sleep, forcing a small/efficient entry)
:o: read/notes PSC till page 100 (started very nicely pg. 37, needs a lot of work)
:x: academic plan for Spring 2021 (didn’t even touch it)

Extra: Internet Browsing, Social Media, YouTube speckled during the day

Feedback: Manage explosive bouts of anger by introducing pranayama/yogaasana tomorrow. Unite and synthesize (C4) disorganized chunks of “stuff” to minimize distractions (finish project until the end of November in 3 days).

image

2 Likes

27 Nov 2020

3 :x: proper electronic usage y’day (YT and SM distractions - slept distraction free though)
:o: drafted today’s plan, last night (I was too tired to do it entirely, but did the morning)
:white_check_mark: had sufficient sleep last night
:o: rise before sunrise 0615 (I did but I lay in bed on my phone, b/c it was too cold to get up)
:white_check_mark: track and achieve diet goals (exceptional day)
:white_check_mark: : workout finished before lunch (set a personal best record, great day)
:o: diary report before sleeping (~1700 and I’m shutting down my laptop after this post)
:o: read/notes PSC till page 100 (haven’t started to so far but I’ve got 4 hours to study left)
:exclamation: academic plan for Spring 2021 (it seems too ambitious and far away for now, I’ll do it at the end of December - save this for later)

Extra: SM/YT peppered in the afternoon and watched movies/cricket while cycling

Feedback: I didn’t introduce anger mgmt exercises and was very irritated today. I had outbursts even. My thoughts veered to negativity and were criminal even! I began the cleaning up mission so that, start of December, I have no excuses to do anything but work.

To Do: Add pranayama/yogaasana tomorrow

image

1 Like

I will be posting today’s report tomorrow - a couple of things got in the way.

Meanwhile I have thought up a game to play on Rewire Forums, I’ll post that tomorrow too.

28 Nov 2020

:white_check_mark: proper electronic usage y’day (busy cooking, shopping, studying)
:exclamation: drafted today’s plan, last night (I need to figure it out today i.e. Nov 29th)
:white_check_mark: had sufficient sleep last night (more than)
:o: rise before sunrise 0615 (yes but then I went back to sleep after 1 hour)
:white_check_mark: track and achieve diet goals (best day yet)
:o: workout finished before lunch (a great no. of cals burned, cycled even at 2300)
:x: diary report before sleeping (had a fight with my father and studied instead)
:o: read/notes PSC till page 100 (got nearly halfway done, so progress finally)

Extra: watched El Camino while I did stationary bike

Feedback: Huge fight with father and right then, I decided that one of my life’s goals is to crush his ego out of existence, and when he’s one blow away from being thoroughly defeated, pardon/forgive him - I’m done taking shit from him and anyone else for that matter (especially myself). Although I won’t exercise that mercy for others. Also I’ve concluded that I’m falling behind on my fitness plan so it needs changes that I’ll implement tomorrow, Monday!

image

1 Like

29 Nov 2020

:o: proper electronic usage y’day (studied quite a bit but also distracted with SM/YT)
:o: drafted today’s plan, last night (under construction, will be finished before sleeping)
:o: had sufficient sleep last night (habit of lying in bed after waking up, break it 'morrow)
:o: rise before sunrise 0615 (yes but then I went back to sleep after 1 hour)
:o: track and achieve diet goals (ate an entire avocado dammit XD)
:o: workout finished before lunch (declared rest day, did literally no exercise XD)
:white_check_mark: diary report before sleeping (sure but spent too much time on forums)
:o: clean up the workspace and schedule things to do in free time

Feedback: wasted a lot of time thinking about (i) depressing and stressful things that I can’t change all at once now and (ii) nonsense games to make on the forums here, finally decided not to make it haha, so slow day until now but before sleeping tonight, a new level of dedication is expected tomorrow to follow the routine set up - looking forward to it!

image

1 Like

30 Nov 2020

:exclamation: proper electronic usage y’day (yes mostly, but I did go on risque chatting)
:white_check_mark: drafted today’s plan, last night (pretty much knew exactly what to do)
:x: had sufficient sleep last night (a little more than usual, not healthy to sleep so much)
:o: rise before sunrise 0615 (yes but then I went back to bed cuz it was too cold, change!!!)
:white_check_mark: track and achieve diet goals (Im fasting for 36 hours, so all was well here, lots of tea)
:o: workout finished before lunch (declared rest day, did literally no exercise XD)
:white_check_mark: diary report before sleeping (sure but spent too much time on forums)
:white_check_mark: clean up the workspace and schedule things to do in free time

Feedback: spent a lot of time distracting myself from not eating and overthinking… however I needed to take a break so I managed somehow. The unbelievable rage is winning atm and my self-talk is bad, this must change! Otherwise, new month tomorrow, good time to start afresh on new habits!

image

1 Like

1 Dec 2020

Let’s be more specific and definitively dangerous with deadlines —
:x: no electronics in bed last night (even opted to chat with strangers — end)
:x: drafted today’s plan, last night (I knew what I wanted to do but no record-keeping)
:white_check_mark: had sufficient sleep last night (yes, precisely enough sleep)
:white_check_mark: rise before sunrise 0618 (finally I did it and it was great)
:white_check_mark: examining spiritual, mental and bodily changes (lot more zen/relaxed)
:white_check_mark: limit showers to 10min and end with a cold blast for 5sec
:white_check_mark: roughly examine hairfall during shower (getting slightly better)
:white_check_mark: track and achieve diet goals (broke fast and finished eating by sunset)
:white_check_mark: workout finished before lunch (hell yes and it felt great, better tmrw)
:white_check_mark: diary report before sunset (spent quite some time on forums)
:o: studying a minimum of 6 hours (Forest App SS pending tmrw’s report)

image

2 Likes

2 Dec 2020

Let’s be more specific and definitively dangerous with deadlines —
:white_check_mark: no electronics in bed last night (too tired for that, that’s the key - bed is for sleep)
:x: drafted today’s plan, last night (I woke up late hence couldn’t stick to it 100%)
:white_check_mark: had sufficient sleep last night (yes, precisely enough sleep again)
:x: rise before sunrise 0618 (I woke up around 0440, too early, then I slept till 0730)
:x: examining spiritual, mental and bodily changes (didn’t write anything down)
:white_check_mark: limit showers to 10min and end with a cold blast for 5sec (yes, was super busy)
:white_check_mark: roughly examine hairfall during shower (ehh, it’s the same as y’day)
:white_check_mark: track and achieve diet goals (finished eating by sunset, on a 16-8 fast)
:x: workout finished before lunch (I didn’t wake up on time to do it, so goes until night)
:x: diary report before sunset (spent some time on RCH but just enough for starting days)
:o: studying a minimum of 6 hours (I won’t post Forest until I’m doing only study-related)

image

1 Like