Today I finally forgave myself for relapsing. That was the longest I’ve ever gone clean since I first found P when I was 11. No edging, no peeking…progress was made, and lessons were learnt which I can take with me. I can learn from that failure and use that knowledge to free myself of the desire to PMO. And I can be happy that I didn’t binge. I’ve come a long way since the time I could barely manage 48 hours.
I’m grateful to have friends to discuss this with, both on and offline. It’s so encouraging to know I’m not alone. And to see people that have made it to 90 days and beyond reminds me that it’s possible.
Today I finished reading The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems caused by Pornography. Very insightful book written by therapists who help clients everyday with this addiction. One important thing for me to bear in mind is that this is a lifelong battle, but it gets easier with every success. It was so refreshing to read stories of people who have been free for years without as much as an unclean Google search. They say when urges come to them, they brush the urges away in seconds. They live lives that are so much better that they had before, that they don’t entertain the thought of going back. I pray I reach that level with time.
Thank GOD for another day.