[25M] Forerunner's Diary - Ascension to Greatness [0-150+]

It’s so painful to start the climb again from the bottom of the mountain.

I reached higher than I ever have before, I know I can go much further - I can go all the way to the top.

Always remember, going back down is never worth it. Don’t even look down. PMO is a death wish.

I’ll find my motivation once more to get back to discipline, exercise, cold showers, accomplishing things daily. For today, I’m thankful that I’ve chosen to start again.

Thank you GOD.

Day 0.

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All the best my friend. Just keep going.
You don’t fail as long as you don’t give up.

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Be strong, be free! Never let urge overcome you :wink:

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@Aragorn @Hubinho

Thank you brothers - I won’t let this setback defeat me.

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Today, the pain of relapsing brought tears to my eyes. I can really feel the difference between the benefits I experienced before and how I am now.

I met a beautiful, intelligent woman yesterday. I was so awkward, I couldn’t maintain eye contact, my jokes were strange…it was a mess. I still had enough confidence to start a conversation, but I could see that I was seriously lacking compared to a few weeks ago. I don’t want to be in that position again - how will I ever meet someone if I can’t even talk to her?

Life is much better when we’re engaged in meaningful activities. I don’t want to spend much longer not being productive. I want to make a plan of how I’m going to spend my time. I’ve learned the hard way that I can’t just pass time and wait for 90 days to come around.

Thank GOD for another day.

Day 1.

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It’s okay to relapse, I also masturbated 9 days ago. The thing is, you are gonna come down to the mountain many times that’s inevitable. So till you reach the top, just enjoy the whole journey. Best of luck, you will succeed my friend​:bouquet::slight_smile::+1:

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@Oggyboi08 Thank you, my friend. I was speaking to my friends today and they told me I need to be less hard on myself.

One quote was to “love myself as I would my best friend.” If my best friend relapsed - he actually did not too long ago - I wouldn’t beat down on him or shame him, but I’d encourage him to learn from his mistakes and come back stronger again.

It’s possible. We can do this. It’s not over until we win.

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Today I finally forgave myself for relapsing. That was the longest I’ve ever gone clean since I first found P when I was 11. No edging, no peeking…progress was made, and lessons were learnt which I can take with me. I can learn from that failure and use that knowledge to free myself of the desire to PMO. And I can be happy that I didn’t binge. I’ve come a long way since the time I could barely manage 48 hours.

I’m grateful to have friends to discuss this with, both on and offline. It’s so encouraging to know I’m not alone. And to see people that have made it to 90 days and beyond reminds me that it’s possible.

Today I finished reading The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems caused by Pornography. Very insightful book written by therapists who help clients everyday with this addiction. One important thing for me to bear in mind is that this is a lifelong battle, but it gets easier with every success. It was so refreshing to read stories of people who have been free for years without as much as an unclean Google search. They say when urges come to them, they brush the urges away in seconds. They live lives that are so much better that they had before, that they don’t entertain the thought of going back. I pray I reach that level with time.

Thank GOD for another day.

Day 2.

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Been following you dude, don’t worry you will be alright soon!
Cheers :slight_smile:

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@nomorewank Grateful for the support friend.

Cheers! :smiley:

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todo es por el bienestar de uno yo descubri la M desde los 14 años dede entonces no e parado :frowning:tengo 27 años y ya es suficiente para mejorar mi vida… voy en el dia 5 todo esto es poco a poco gracias por haber personas como yo que quieran terminar con PMO

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@MacMorrow We’ve both had a problem with PMO for 13 years. :sweat_smile: Yes, like you said, the important thing is that we are working to stop it now. Every day, we improve a little and better our lives. The rest of our lives can be so much better once we overcome this addiction. And we’re in the right place to fight this with this community.

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asi es esto lo mas importante es querer frenar mi codigo de amigo es 6pl9c

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@MacMorrow Absolutely, the first step is wanting to change.

I tried to add your sharing code (6pl9c) but it didn’t work. Is that correct?

My sharing code is (eoivgi).

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es 6pl19c
y disculpa si em falto agregar el numero 1

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@MacMorrow Got it. I’ve added you now.

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Today was better. My mood is improving.

I started making plans to get back on track, and I worked on one of my projects - a podcast I’m producing.

Slow and steady progress.

Thank GOD for another day.

Day 3.

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Right, it’s much easier if you see your goals and things you want to do. Streak is growing, so keep going :wink:

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@Hubinho Definitely man! Goals provide more of a reason to keep moving forward. I’ll keep going, thank you!

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Another day down. I’ve noticed that my work from last time isn’t completely gone - it’s easier to get back on track. My confidence is slowly returning. I met quite a few new people today and I think I did alright.

I was able to laugh and enjoy life again today.

Thank GOD for another day.

Day 4.

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