[24] Richard's Journey 📝

Hi guys

My name is Richard, I’m 24 years old and have been addicted to PMO since I was 13. Well, as many of you guys, porn have just caused problems to my life. It started in a friend’s house. He was older so he was already watching porn that time. He showed it to me an since then I haven’t stop. My nights since I was young was faping. I’m not so social, don’t have many friends, feel like I’m depressed and with anxiety. I was never good with girls since I was young, my scape to rejection was porn. My first girlfriend (and the girl who I had my first time) I met last year. She was just everything a guy can ever dream of. We were just perfect together. After I met her it was like my life was going in a different direction and I didn’t even think about PMO. After 4 months together we kind of started a long distance because of her uni. Because of my anxiety and neednes I kind of suffocated her and she started pulling away from me. I visited her few weeks later and things were going great again but I felt that she was not the same anymore. I know I had a participation on that but instead of act like a man and since things I started pleasing her more and more until I found out that she was cheating on me. It destroied my life and I broke up. She begged for a chance and after I gave it to her she broke up with me. She then said that she felt like I was not there for her when she needed and everything I want when we are together is sex. I tried to show her how much I love her and how I’m willing to change but was too late. She is gone and I know that my addiction has a huge participation on that. I didnt tell her about it. Now that I’m alone again I feel even worse than before. I go to work, do the job and come back. Don’t have motivation to do anything. Don’t have friends to talk to and what has been motivating me to keep it up is this all the the people on this forum. I decided to share my life with you guys trough this dairy and will fight to get over this porn addiction. I’m currently on 14 days streak but every day is a war. The loneliness is killing me and I have so many thoughts that I need to put it out somehow. I appreciate all your support and let’s fight against this shit together :muscle: