Today a lot of my focus went into studying, so did not really have a lot of free time, which is a good thing as I’m not wasting precious time.
Another revelation I wanted to make is that before I do any activity, I think to myself ‘will this lead me to a relapse’.
If the answer is yes, then I won’t do the activity. For instance, I started using this approach before watching any YouTube videos and it worked out fine.
Hopefully this approach works in the long run and hopefully tomorrow will be a good day.
I mostly spent a lot of my time by studying and a lot of sleeping, so not a lot of free time to do some other activities, but missed the gym session.
Will go tomorrow and hopefully get a good workout, which will help me sleep better. No sexual urges of any sort, which is expected at the initial stages of the streak, but also need to reduce my phone usage time.
Pretty good day to be honest. I spent most of my time studying and sleeping
Also shifted my focus to finding new jobs, which I wanted at the moment. So I’m looking to upskill myself, which will take more of my time but it will be good for me.
Felt a lot of urges and when I went on my laptop and phone to act on those urges, I became uninterested to wanting to watch porn. This was an unusual feeling and never really experienced it before. Thank God it happened, because of which I was able to find some loopholes in my laptop and phone through which I could have watched porn. But I was able to set blockers. I really see this as a divine intervention where it’s like god saying to me ‘Don’t watch that filthy stuff, think about your goal’. All I need to do right now is to forget about those blockers for a month or so, so that I forget how to remove them.
I really need to remind myself that watching porn gives me only minutes of satisfaction, but in the long run it will ruin my life.
If I have to succeed in this journey, I need to remember last time when I relapsed and how much I was hurt by it. But as time goes on, that realisation goes away and I tend to slip up, which I shouldn’t do.
Another thing I noticed is that in the rewire community, people are posting posts of ‘If you start now, by the end of the year, you will be 150 days into no Fap and without porn.’
This gives me a lot of motivation and hopefully by year’s end, I will be a better man.
Today not a of sexual urges were encountered, but I missed the gym session today. Need to go tomorrow.
Today I was occupied with some personal work which I’m glad it got done. For me it is better to go into a new day with a plan, like what I’m supposed to do in different times of the day. With that plan and by changing up my routine everyday, I’ll get a lot more work done and won’t think about porn and waste my time.
But man it was tough. I almost relapsed. Whenever an urge comes which I cannot control, then it feels like I’m possessed by someone. My actions are out of my control.
Thought that the blockers which I sent up in my phone and laptop were more than enough. Turns out I found out some more loopholes. Had to close them down.
Need to spend less time on my phone and more time on studying.
Thank God this weekend completed. I almost relapsed. Glad I did not do it.
I started reading more books related to no Fap and previous accounts of people who have gone on no Fap and been successful. I hope I can achieve what they have achieved, which gives me hope to do good on this journey.
Man I got lazy and weak and I let my guard down. Should not happen. For this I need to set up an offensive and defensive plan just to get out of the rut. I should try to introduce new things into my life, just to break the pattern which usually leads me to relapse.
I think, you shouldn’t think that way. I mean - quit it faster. It’s because thinking like this, you put yourself in a stressful situation. And this tension isn’t helping you. It puts another heavy burden on your shoulders. And what can you do? Sooner or later you relapse. And might be even sooner. I would suggest (if you can) don’t think to do it fast. For how long do you have this addiction? I’ve heard somewhere, that the process of quiting is twice as long. So better try to think, that it’s going to take some time. It’s going to take some energy, it requires consistency BUT you can do it. Easy and steadily. Little improvement everyday. You’ll succeed. All good and long lasting things require some time. But they are worth it. You’ll succeed! High Five!
@Dari Thank you for those encouraging words. Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on myself regarding this streak. But this usually happens when repeated failures occur.
Then I tend to feel bad for myself after i relapsed knowing that it will take me a long time to rebuild the streak. I just have to focus on the work and the different tools at my disposal to make this streak work.
Overall it was a good day. No sexual urges to report, which is not new during the initial stages of the streak. Just focused on my work and tried to get it completed.
But I have to find ways to remind myself of the pain I suffer after relapsing. Also today’s workout was so hard, just because I had relapsed yesterday.
Day 2 completed successfully. Did not experience any sexual urges.
Planning to read books about the harmful effects of pornography from tomorrow. I’ll try to educate myself regarding the pain and suffering I’ve caused myself over the years and hopefully will put me in the right direction.
