[24 M] Ujwal's Diary

It’s Day 1, 20hrs and 48 minutes

From my side, it’s taken a lot of courage to admit that I had a problem with porn and masturbation. This has led me to go on the no Fap journey.

My reasons on joining this journey include:

  1. Porn induced erectile dysfunction
  2. Anger
  3. Stress
  4. Weakness
  5. Lack of motivation

Writing a journal is a first for me during my no Fap journey, which I believe will help me in the long run.

My longest steak has been 10 days and I am aiming to hit the 90 day mark. I know it’s going to be tough, but with the grace of God, I hope to accomplish my target.

I will try to make a habit of regularly making journal entries

Let’s do it.

In case anyone wants to follow me
Here’s my sharing code : 38eo3c


So it’s Day 2

So, I was being bombarded with thoughts of indulging in PMO, but was able to block those thoughts successfully for now

Looking forward to day 3. Hopefully I can keep my self distracted from PMO by working out and doing some useful work

Got to maintain my streak on a day to day basis. Hopefully tomorrow is a good day

It’s Day 3

It was really hard to block the urges to watch porn. It kept diverting my mind from morning to evening, but was successfully able to block then out.

Hopefully my battles against these sexual urges can make me stronger. Looking forward to day 4

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Day 4

Due to regular sessions in the gym, I feel a lot stronger mentally and physically. But still those urges persist.

There are present due to my lack of sleep and the morning wood that I receive while waking up.

Having morning wood is a good sign, which means that my brain is rewiring and I am on the path to recovery. I also need to control myself into not watching porn whenever I get morning wood

Only thing I need to work on is getting more sleep and changing my lifestyle habits.

Hopefully day 5 will be a good day for me.

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Well…I relapsed

This is the most horrible I’ve felt in quite some time. My mental strength wasn’t there and I let the devil conquer me through sexual urges.

I also prayed to God regarding this and today was different. I literally begged God to help me find the light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully he helps me. I believe I’m capable of overcoming my PMO cycle. There is always hope

Just for reminding, the different emotions I felt after relapsing:

a. Guilt
b. Remorseful
c. Ashamed
d. Disgusted
e. Angry

From tomorrow a new streak starts and I believe I will conquer my demons.


use your anger and take a step outside of yourself to see what is happening to you in the moment. This memory is going to be a great foundation for you.

@draggerd That’s true. Such kind of a memory will act as a foundation in my quest to overcome PMO.

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Day 1 (4/7/2021)

Day 1 over and done with. Happy to say that I did not encounter any sexual urges. Looking forward to day 2

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You can do it. We all are looking up to you .

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@LAMA Thanks buddy for the encouragement, which keeps me going

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Day 2 (5/7/2021)

It’s been a pretty good day so far. No sexual urges, was able to perform well at work and also was able to get a good workout done at the gym. Hopefully day 3 will be good for me as well

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Day 3 (6/7/2021)

It’s been a pretty good day so far. No sexual urges, got a lot of work done

Now my mindset has changed from looking at sexual images to trying to abstain from them

Looking forward to day 4

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Day 4 (7/7/21)

It’s been a pretty good day so far. Happy to report that I did not have any sexual urges today, but was feeling tired after a lot of office work

Overall it has been a good day. Looking forward to day 5

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Day 5 (8/7/21)

5 days completed successfully. A small step in a long journey. Hopefully this is the start of good things to come.

Happy to report that I encountered no sexual urges, due to me being active for almost the whole day.

Looking forward to day 6.


Day 6 (9/7/21)

So far day 6 has been pretty good. Spent some hours in the morning at the gym, then proceeded to get on with my office work. That took most of the day, so I am exhausted and feel sleepy.

Good thing is that I did not get any sexual urges.

Certainly looking forward to day 7 and hopefully it is a fun weekend

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Day 7 (10/7/21)

Since most of my relapses have occurred on the weekends, today has been a welcome experience, where I spent the whole day just relaxing and not worrying about anything in the world.

Did not receive any sexual urges, which is a good thing. Looking forward to tomorrow.

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Day 8 (11/7/21)

Pretty good day so far. The whole day went into helping my dad with some house work. Good thing I was occupied with it, rather than my mind wandering off somewhere.

Also wanted to make a note of the sexual dream that I had while taking a nap in the evening. I deliberately did not dream about it, guess it was my subconscious mind, but other than that no sexual urges

Hopefully day 9 will be good for me

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Day 9 (12/7/21)

Day 9 not yet over but almost about to end. Pretty good day so far, even though I did not go to the gym.
Stayed up watching the Euro 2021 final, but I should say it was a very good match and Italy deserved to win. But what caught my attention was my willingness to stay up late in the night to watch a match.
I usually did not do that when I was involved in PMO, due to a lack of enthusiasm and laziness. Thinking about this thought brought me a lot of joy.

Anyways, despite looking at pictures of women on newspapers, from which bad thoughts arose, I was able to block them off.

Looking forward to day 10

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Day 10 (14/7/21)

After a very long time, I have gotten to the 10 day mark in my streak. Very happy about it. It is a small and a successful step in a long journey.

Also wanted to report that I experienced nightfall in the middle of the night and a very strong morning wood when I woke up, all signs suggesting that my brain is rewiring properly. Also happy to report that I experienced no sexual urges today.

Looking forward to day 11 as it is going to be very important.

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Day 11 (14/7/21)

Today was an eventful day, where after I gave a job interview, I was really stressed. In order to relieve myself from that stress, I ended up watching a lot of YouTube, through which I saw some videos which would make me sexually aroused. Thankfully, I was able to close those videos in the nick of time, realising that I am in this no Fap journey for the long haul.

Today was the day I felt some sexual urges, perhaps the start of my withdrawal symptoms period. Hopefully I can get through this period successfully.