From my side, it’s taken a lot of courage to admit that I had a problem with porn and masturbation. This has led me to go on the no Fap journey.
My reasons on joining this journey include:
Porn induced erectile dysfunction
Anger
Stress
Weakness
Lack of motivation
Writing a journal is a first for me during my no Fap journey, which I believe will help me in the long run.
My longest steak has been 10 days and I am aiming to hit the 90 day mark. I know it’s going to be tough, but with the grace of God, I hope to accomplish my target.
I will try to make a habit of regularly making journal entries
Let’s do it.
In case anyone wants to follow me
Here’s my sharing code : 38eo3c
Due to regular sessions in the gym, I feel a lot stronger mentally and physically. But still those urges persist.
There are present due to my lack of sleep and the morning wood that I receive while waking up.
Having morning wood is a good sign, which means that my brain is rewiring and I am on the path to recovery. I also need to control myself into not watching porn whenever I get morning wood
Only thing I need to work on is getting more sleep and changing my lifestyle habits.
This is the most horrible I’ve felt in quite some time. My mental strength wasn’t there and I let the devil conquer me through sexual urges.
I also prayed to God regarding this and today was different. I literally begged God to help me find the light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully he helps me. I believe I’m capable of overcoming my PMO cycle. There is always hope
Just for reminding, the different emotions I felt after relapsing:
a. Guilt
b. Remorseful
c. Ashamed
d. Disgusted
e. Angry
From tomorrow a new streak starts and I believe I will conquer my demons.
use your anger and take a step outside of yourself to see what is happening to you in the moment. This memory is going to be a great foundation for you.
It’s been a pretty good day so far. No sexual urges, was able to perform well at work and also was able to get a good workout done at the gym. Hopefully day 3 will be good for me as well
So far day 6 has been pretty good. Spent some hours in the morning at the gym, then proceeded to get on with my office work. That took most of the day, so I am exhausted and feel sleepy.
Good thing is that I did not get any sexual urges.
Certainly looking forward to day 7 and hopefully it is a fun weekend
Since most of my relapses have occurred on the weekends, today has been a welcome experience, where I spent the whole day just relaxing and not worrying about anything in the world.
Did not receive any sexual urges, which is a good thing. Looking forward to tomorrow.
Pretty good day so far. The whole day went into helping my dad with some house work. Good thing I was occupied with it, rather than my mind wandering off somewhere.
Also wanted to make a note of the sexual dream that I had while taking a nap in the evening. I deliberately did not dream about it, guess it was my subconscious mind, but other than that no sexual urges
Day 9 not yet over but almost about to end. Pretty good day so far, even though I did not go to the gym.
Stayed up watching the Euro 2021 final, but I should say it was a very good match and Italy deserved to win. But what caught my attention was my willingness to stay up late in the night to watch a match.
I usually did not do that when I was involved in PMO, due to a lack of enthusiasm and laziness. Thinking about this thought brought me a lot of joy.
Anyways, despite looking at pictures of women on newspapers, from which bad thoughts arose, I was able to block them off.
After a very long time, I have gotten to the 10 day mark in my streak. Very happy about it. It is a small and a successful step in a long journey.
Also wanted to report that I experienced nightfall in the middle of the night and a very strong morning wood when I woke up, all signs suggesting that my brain is rewiring properly. Also happy to report that I experienced no sexual urges today.
Looking forward to day 11 as it is going to be very important.
Today was an eventful day, where after I gave a job interview, I was really stressed. In order to relieve myself from that stress, I ended up watching a lot of YouTube, through which I saw some videos which would make me sexually aroused. Thankfully, I was able to close those videos in the nick of time, realising that I am in this no Fap journey for the long haul.
Today was the day I felt some sexual urges, perhaps the start of my withdrawal symptoms period. Hopefully I can get through this period successfully.