(24 M) Samaranjay's New Diary

Yes :100:, that’s how ang habit/ any addiction works.
There are three steps in execution of any habit.

  1. Cue: cue is any trigger maybe internal or external like hunger in case of habit of eating
  2. Response: it represents what decision we make regarding a habit
  3. Action: Represents the habit itself.

What we can do is to identify the cues of any habit, and if we are trying to build a habit we have to intentionally set cues for that habit so the response and action follows automatically.

So with regards to breaking a bad habit, we can identify the cues that lead to the execution of that habit and replace our response to those cues.
The more you practice replacing your response to those cues, better you’d get in dealing with that bad habit and instead doing something productive.

What I meant actually by the statement that I don’t know how to completely revert back to the initial state when we were never exposed to PMO, because even in long term the memories keep flashing :sweat_smile:, that’s why I said only way is to keep going as long as possible @the_resilient_one

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Day 3

  1. Study: 5 hrs
  2. :white_check_mark:Putting mobile phone on airplane mode around 11:15 pm last night
  3. :white_check_mark:Sleeping before/around 12am last night
  4. :white_check_mark:Gratefulness journal
  5. :white_check_mark:Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping last night
  6. :white_check_mark:Morning meditation: 10 min
  7. :white_check_mark:Workout: 55 min
  8. :white_check_mark:Prayer
  9. :white_check_mark:Affirmations, Visualisation
  10. :white_check_mark:Reading and contemplating the daily stoic
  11. :white_check_mark:Reading Bhagawad Gita
  12. :white_check_mark:Cold shower
  13. :white_check_mark:Evening meditation: 15 min
  14. :white_check_mark:No internet till dinner except for studies/important matters
  15. :white_check_mark:No Sugar
  16. :white_check_mark:Shutdown Ritual/planning for the next day
  17. :white_check_mark:Listening to easy peasy

In the morning during working out, after I did the dumbbell workout series I was thinking of skipping the cardio series because it was 20 min long lol, I started it, I was feeling that I’d stop at 10 minutes, but as I got into the rhythm it felt enjoyable and I completed it, I’d skip cardio tomorrow because I’ll be going to basketball court day after tomorrow.
I was feeling a little bit burned out in the evening so took some time to chill, played a little basketball shooting game with my sister in the courtyard and spent some time talking to family. Will continue the same routine tomorrow and already excited to go to basketball court on Sunday lol, but I want to work as hard a possible before I can go to play, will do that :fire::relieved::fire:.

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Day 0
Yes day zero again :smiling_face_with_tear:

  1. Study: 1 hour
  2. Putting mobile phone on airplane mode around 11:15 pm last night
  3. Sleeping before/around 12am last night
  4. :white_check_mark:Gratefulness journal
  5. :white_check_mark:Gayatri Mantra chanting
  6. :white_check_mark:Morning meditation: 10 min
  7. :white_check_mark:Workout: 35 min
  8. :white_check_mark:Prayer
  9. :white_check_mark:Affirmations, Visualisation
  10. :white_check_mark:Reading and contemplating the daily stoic
  11. :white_check_mark:Reading Bhagawad Gita
  12. :white_check_mark:Cold shower
  13. :white_check_mark:Evening meditation: 15 min
  14. :white_check_mark:No internet till dinner except for studies/important matters
  15. No Sugar: Had jalebi
  16. :white_check_mark:Shutdown Ritual/planning for the next day
  17. :white_check_mark:Listening to easy peasy

Well relapsed last night once again, this one didn’t affect me that much mentally because I have made a solid routine again, but it led to wastage of quite some time and because of which I wasn’t able to study much today, I thought I would but there were some reasons that I couldn’t.
Anyway, in the evening we did a long kirtan, almost 1.5 hours, because my father came home late from an appointment for a health checkup with a homeopathy doctor, so we all continued the kirtan till he was back.
About no fap I need to get a good long-term goal, Bhagawad Gita is helping me in that aspect, it says vividly it’s just Lust that makes a man act sinfully and sometimes even against their will, Lust is the main enemy of human beings and one has to overcome lust if one wants to grow on spiritual platform, I myself have tasted that pleasure during my recent 100+ streak, spiritual activities are still calming but on a good streak they just hit differently, a different level of enjoyment. That should be my aim now, to rise spiritually which isn’t possible until I conquer lust. And also main way to grow in spiritual aspect is to perform our prescribed duties perfectly, that I have been doing, I falter in that because of lustful tendencies only. So keep working, giving your best, conquer lust, always remember God and ultimately you will be growing spiritually.
Well I can’t profess anything which I don’t follow myself properly but I am striving for betterment and I’ll keep striving.

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Day 1

  1. Study: 3.5 hrs
  2. Putting mobile phone on airplane mode by 11:30 pm
  3. Sleeping before/around 12am last night: Around 1
  4. :white_check_mark:Gratefulness journal
  5. :white_check_mark:Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping last night
  6. :white_check_mark:Morning meditation: 10 min
  7. :white_check_mark:Workout: 40 min + 2 hrs basketball :relieved:
  8. :white_check_mark:Prayer
  9. :white_check_mark:Affirmations, Visualisation
  10. :white_check_mark:Reading and contemplating the daily stoic
  11. :white_check_mark:Reading Bhagawad Gita
  12. :white_check_mark:Cold shower
  13. :white_check_mark:No daytime nap
  14. :white_check_mark:Evening meditation: 15 min
  15. No internet till dinner except for studies/important matters: checked messages for 15-20 min in the morning but then I put my phone on detox till 9:45 pm
  16. No Sugar: Had some ‘rot’ it is a local sweet parantha made for religious purpose
  17. :white_check_mark:Shutdown Ritual/planning for the next day
  18. :white_check_mark:Listening to easy peasy

A good day today, my parents were home, we had paranthas for lunch, went to play in the evening, I was going towards the court running with my basketball, some people stopped me and asked if there’s a basketball court around, so yeah I took them with me to the court, they are from Delhi and are actually staying near my home itself, I also guided them about what’s good about this place (they are tourists), I might go to plag with them again in next 2-3 days. But a good day overall, good social interactions + good basketball games :relieved:. Anyway now I’ll chill for sometime before sleeping.

9 Likes

Day 2

  1. Study: 1 hr 44 min
  2. Putting mobile phone on airplane mode by 11:30 pm
  3. Sleeping before/around 12am last night
  4. :white_check_mark:Gratefulness journal
  5. :white_check_mark:Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping last night
  6. :white_check_mark:Morning meditation: 10 min
  7. :white_check_mark:Workout: 40 min
  8. :white_check_mark:Prayer
  9. :white_check_mark:Affirmations, Visualisation
  10. :white_check_mark:Reading and contemplating the daily stoic
  11. :white_check_mark:Reading Bhagawad Gita
  12. :white_check_mark:Cold shower
  13. No daytime nap: 35 min nap
  14. :white_check_mark:Evening meditation: 15 min
  15. :white_check_mark:No internet till dinner except for studies/important matters
  16. No Sugar
  17. :white_check_mark:Shutdown Ritual/planning for the next day
  18. :white_check_mark:Listening to easy peasy

There’s no electricity here since afternoon, I had to watch video lectures, basically almost all my interview preparation is online only and it was so hard without wifi, my personal net is very messy it barely works, I was feeling so damn helpless throughout the day, like I had the time but I couldn’t watch lectures :crying_cat_face:. Still there’s no electricity. It has gotten all dark and rainy I don’t know if it’ll return tomorrow as well so I planned some offline studies for tomorrow I’ll go for watching lectures only if electricity returns. Anyway I’ll sleep in a little while now.
Oh damnn and just now the electricity has returned :man_facepalming:, right after I gave up on studying, I am in no state to study now, will do it tomorrow.

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My habit list has gotten very long :sweat_smile:, I am planning to trim down a few habits which consume time atleast until my first June interview, so that I can focus more on studies.
I’ll have to think about it and choose carefully which habits I have to keep and which not.

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So I am gonna cut morning meditation, evening meditation goes to 10 min, and with Bhagwad Gita I’ll stick with strictly 1 verse per day. Rest all remains the same, oh and in workout I’ll just stick with weight training series and avoid cardio until my interview, I’ll also avoid going to basketball court until then, I might practice once in a while in courtyard. Let’s focus well on studies now in whatever time’s left.

7 Likes

Day 3

  1. Study: 3hrs 15 min
  2. Putting mobile phone on airplane mode by 11:30 pm
  3. Sleeping before/around 12am last night: Around 1, I need to take care of these two habits :sweat_smile:
  4. :white_check_mark:Gratefulness journal
  5. :white_check_mark:Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping last night
  6. :white_check_mark:Workout: 35 min
  7. :white_check_mark:Prayer
  8. :white_check_mark:Affirmations, Visualisation
  9. :white_check_mark:Reading and contemplating the daily stoic
  10. :white_check_mark:Reading Bhagawad Gita
  11. :white_check_mark:Cold shower
  12. No daytime nap: 18 min nap
  13. :white_check_mark:Evening meditation: 10 min
  14. No internet till dinner except for studies/important matters: Used for 20 minutes in morning, detoxed for rest of the time.
  15. No Sugar
  16. :white_check_mark:Shutdown Ritual/planning for the next day
  17. :white_check_mark:Listening to easy peasy

I was feeling quite lazy today despite taking good sleep :sweat_smile:, maybe it’s because of the recent relapses, also maybe because I did a lot of exercise and playing day before yesterday, I had to power through to get anything done today :sweat_smile:. Anyway I’ll chill for sometime now and sleep hopefully on time today.

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Bro, how much time did u sleep yesterday?

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cause i slept for 11hrs 53mins straight :joy: :joy:

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Oh damn :joy:. I slept for 8 hours.
I am planning to sleep without alarm today :joy:.
Even 8 hours aren’t sufficient for me, I have to go for alarmless sleep once in a while.
But I rarely cross 9-10 hours even when I sleep without alarm.

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I had my reasons fr that bro :joy:
I have migraine so when my head aches, im done for.
I had one of those hellish headaches and slept off at 8.30 itself :joy:
and woke up at 7.23

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Good good bro :joy::fire:


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18th May
Day 0 again :crying_cat_face:
Even after realising that it’s almost impossible to progress spiritually until someone remains entrapped by lust, I still caved in.
Apart from this I do have the sufficient knowledge to deal with this addiction, I just have to realise what’s been going wrong.
I had started seeing the ill effects of pmoing too recently, low drive to do things, low energy and still I chose to go for it, wth.
Anyway what’s done is done, I seriously need to work on this.

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The pmo trap is really a thing bro …

I’m also struggling like you to break it but again and again fall into the same pit …all knowing what happens after it but still we keep on falling

Don’t know how to break or will we ever be able to get out of it completely ? :no_mouth:

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So many people have done it bro. We can too. It’s completely possible, we just have to keep working towards getting rid of it.

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You are right bro!!!

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shit bro
are u alright?
Are u stressed about your interview???

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I have no idea.
Maybe I am, I shouldn’t be because it isn’t the end of the world even if I mess up this one. Preparation is ok ok, not bad, not great either. But I think my mind doesn’t wanna work hard now, I am pretty much burned out from studying the same things for so long, I think that’s why I’ve been shirking off in studies but then again interview is exactly in two weeks and not studying is not an option so that’s adding unnecessary pressure. And over that I have to travel to a whole new place, first time going through a flight, I am somewhat excited too and that’s how it should be but a part of me might be scared and doesn’t wanna face up to things, then to handle all this I need to be at my best and seeing myself mess up in no fap and all is creating an additional presssure.
It’s a vicious loop I am stuck in.
Universe is testing me, I have to be strong, now see that’s what I expect from myself and everyone does and that’s how it should be, but that might, just might, add to the pressure :sweat_smile:.
Thanks for asking though, I wasn’t expecting I’d write this long answer :joy:

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I too have been struggling, last week I was relapsing every 2 days, my last relapse was on Sunday, this week is actually a better week for me, no urges yet, but I still keep my guard up, I actually feel more in control than last week, currently Wednesday night, Ive been so busy that I haven’t had a chance to give in, I can feel myself starting to rebuild momentum again.

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