[24 M] Neo's Journey: I Am INVINCIBLE

This is my diary to track my Relapse data and analyse my pattern/mistakes. Also I track my daily routine tasks streak here.

Information about me:
Sharing code: 2wrhba
Country: :india:
Highest Streak: 39 days

My addiction: I have been doing MO from 17 years, I do not remember my first relapse but I clearly remember that when I was 7 or 8 year old, at that age… I do MO in washroom… P comes in my life at later stage…

My Aim of doing NF: In my opinion, NoFap is a lifestyle…

  • That lifestyle when we see girls with respect and also do not get aroused/triggered by just a romantic scene in a movie etc. …A Healthy Mind…or I want to call it…MENTALLY FIT.

  • That lifestyle in which we rise up in morning and feel a spark… zeal in us to chase our dreams…our goals…also we enjoy that thing…A DISCIPLINED LIFESTYLE.… DISCIPLINE IS MOST IMPORTANT THING TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL.

  • God made us with genitals only to reproduce offspring…just like any other living being (animal etc) does on the planet earth… but we human beings are having brain with immense powers… so we do Sex for pleasure (most of the times)… and to reproduce offspring (some times)…but till here… I feel it’s ok… but doing PMO…is fucking pathetic…awful… we misusing God’s gift and the wonderful thing is… only will be responsible for our condition…PMO AFFECT ONLY THAT PERSON…WHO DOES IT…HIS LIFE…HIS BRAIN…HIS CREATIVITY…HIS FUTURE…HIS RELATIONS…EVERYTHING…it is obvious…if we misuse something then we have to face repercussions too.

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My feelings: I am having some mix feelings…

  • Why this is so tough…

Ans: Because I am practicing it from 17 years… It has become… kind of permanent thing… This is going to be tough… Not easy… This is the real truth.

  • why I cannot do nofap…

Ans: No… I can do it… But the thing is… There is so many triggers around me… Or my brain see then as a trigger…becoz I am addicted… Everytime I underestimate some things and feel that I can handle this…due to this feeling… I do not call anyone for help…

  • why I cannot control myself… this is my body…my brain… everything should be in my control…

Ans: Everything is in my control… My body what I say to to it… When I fap…actually I am the one who decided to fap… The thing is… I choose wrong pill…it is going to be hard… it is not easy… This is the toughest part to make right choice at right time.

  • everyone is doing it easily… then why I can’t

Ans: EASILY… No… Anyone who do it… only he knows how much efforts he is putting… Everyone’s struggle is hard for them… Nothing comes easy.

  • Am I that much weak… loser…

Ans: No… I am not a loser… But the thing to focus here is… I am not a loser from my thoughts… But Yeah! I am a loser from my actions… These actions are of a loser… From these kind of actions I am not going to achieve my life goals.

  • Only thing I have to do is to follow my schedule but I fail to do it… I cannot keep that 1 simple thing in my mind.

Ans: I always procrastinate first… At the end … when time slips… I try to do remaining tasks… The thing is… This is my real identity… I am always like this … a procrastinator… who always want to relax… and do things at last minute… Just before the deadline.

  • Don’t you want to live the life of your dreams… don’t you want to achieve your goals which take you to your dreams…

Ans: I want to live it… I want to have it… but I don’t want to do hard work for it from inside… I know this not gonna work… I like to think about those dreams only…and if I continue the same pattern then I will only dream it my whole life and then die one day…


I remember 1 quote of eric thomas… If you want to succeed as bad as you want to breath then you will be successful

By practicing this addiction… I’ve developed a pattern…now I want to break that pattern… I am thinking…struggling… To stop it now… That’s how we all human beings are… First we damage things… knowingly… Unknowingly…then we try to cope up with those things… Try to improve those things…

Same thing we did to our nature… And now everyone trying to improve things… When someone dump garbage outside or burn some plastic… I feel disgusting… I feel like these people are illiterate…

But wait… I am doing the same thing to myself…I did it unknowingly and now I am trying to improve myself… think to break that pattern which I developed by doing this shit again and again… but worst thing is… even after knowing everything… still I am doing the same thing…I am ruining my body… My future self… My older age will be in pain due to this addiction…


Measures:

I have analysed my pattern… I identified 3 reasons…one of those is always there in every relapse:

  • My relapse position
  • GF thing
  • Stress
  • Happiness(new)
  • Sadness(new)

I have taken/decided some measures to avoid these things… Only thing left is to take action on them from now…

4 Likes

20/8/20
Day 0


No tasks done… studied 2 hours… feeling good


@neo_150 you have to decide… either you follow the same pattern and remain a loser… or you have to stand up and fight…hustle… and become a legend…

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21/8/20
Day 1


Morning:

Hi guys… I am here to tell all of you including me that today I am not going to relapse… You will see in evening that counter will be 1…

MO… ye ghatiya kaam…me nahi karne wala ab… ye meri zindagi mujhse cheen rha h… aaj to nahi… aaj me kuch karu ya na karu…but MO nahi karunga… muje urges feel hogi then I will ask for help…divert my mind and I will make a right choice …which lead to a healthy life.


:white_check_mark: study(3 hours)
:x: other tasks


Night:
Hi… So as I promised in morning… I did not relapsed today… Now I want to tell you and tell my brain that little friend down there… And I am going to sleep now…no fantasizing…no youtube…no phone…No relapse position…not anymore…

Yeah this thing… Relapse position…fuck I am not going to comfort myself in that position… Also that posture is not a healthy one…

You can check my counter… tomorrow’s morning… It will be showing 1… not 0 again… Never

#NoFapForever

7 Likes

22/8/20
Day 2


Morning: My NF streak is 1 now… when I will come in night to update then…It will be 2… I will ensure that today… no relapse position… nothing will change my determination today… NoFapForever


:x: wake up (waked up at 6:30AM)
:white_check_mark: Jogging( I did morning walk)
:white_check_mark: Study(3 hours)
:white_check_mark: NoYoutube
:x: other tasks


Night: after this… I will set alarm… turn of lights…and sleep… No more phone now… No relapse position… No fantasizing… no edging… no relapse…

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No feelings down anymore after you decied creating this , step by step you will kill your weakness part …
Go a head you have a millions challenges you didn’t see or enjoy it … don’t waste this discount of your free breath :sweat_smile::muscle:

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23/8/20
Day 3


Morning: I have made good start today…I am not going to ruin it by doing some filthy stuff… so NO RELAPSE POSITION…REMEMBER TO ASK FOR HELP… DON’T UNDERESTIMATE SMALL TRIGGERING CONTENT… DO NOT PROCRASTINATE…ONLY HUSTLE.


:x: Sleep on time(11:40/ 11:30 PM) … Day 0
:white_check_mark: Wake up(5:20/ 5:30 AM) … Day 1
:white_check_mark: Jogging(1.5 km…Did sprint running too) … Day 1
:white_check_mark: Pranayam … Day 1
:white_check_mark: Study(4/ 4 hrs) … Day 1
:white_check_mark: Motivation/information/NF (Motivational) … Day 1
:white_check_mark: English(Vocab YES, Practice YES, Learning NO) … Day 1
:x: Book Reading … Day 0
:white_check_mark: Yoga … Day 1
:white_check_mark: Exercise … Day 1
:white_check_mark: Meditation … Day 1
:white_check_mark: Visualization … Day 1
:x: Affirmation … Day 0
:white_check_mark: Mindful eating(Only Dinner) … Day 1
:white_check_mark: Practice mindful living … Day 1
:white_check_mark: No Youtube … Day 1
:x: Chess(Learning…NO, 1 Match…NO) … Day 0
:white_check_mark: Next day planning … Day 1


Feeling quite satisfied… Initially studies bored me but then I enjoyed it at last…today I was quite focused in my work… No time to feel urges… Still need to eliminate Procrastination in morning time.

"Success and rest don’t sleep together"

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Must watch this video…(hindi language) but still you can understand it through images he showed.

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24/8/20


Morning Affirmations:
I am a healthy person, who is focused to his life goals and loves to hustle for it… I am PMO free… Today I will complete my studies becoz I am a doer.

And Yeah I forget something…I HATE DOING PMO… Becoz it is filthy…disgusting…awful…pathetic…it make me sick…and make me feel like a loser…
No relapse position…embrace urges…No overconfidence…NO RELAPSE


First Priority Tasks
:x: Sleep on time
:white_check_mark: Wake up
:white_check_mark: Jogging
:white_check_mark: Pranayam
:white_check_mark: Study
:white_check_mark: Meditation
:white_check_mark: Next Day Planning

Second Priority Tasks
:x: Yoga
:x: Exercise
:x: Visualization
:white_check_mark: Affirmations
:white_check_mark: English

Third Priority Tasks
:x: Chess
:x: Book Reading
:x: Motivation/information/NF

Mandatory Tasks
:white_check_mark: Practice Mindful living
:white_check_mark: Mindful Eating
:x: No Youtube


My body is Paining… After dinner I felt Drowsy as hell… I have to fix my sleeping time… also I made these priorities becoz when I do exercise… I do it intensely and left with no energy to do any thing else…This thing also hampers my study(the important thing)…

4 Likes

25/8/20


Morning affirmations: I am working for my goals, God helped me always and still he is helping me…giving me new opportunities, Now I have to decide to do my best and grab those opportunities… I am doing the same… God is with me.

“BHAGWAN HUMARE LIYE KAAM NAHI KARTA HAI, BHAGWAN HUMARE SATH KAAM KARTA HAI…JAB HUM KAAM KARTE HAI TO WO BHI KAAM KRTA H… HUMKO ACHI DISHA DIKHATA HAI…”


Took a rest day today… also I had some work to do…


Night update: I am updating it today…Y’day Extreme urges hit at night… I was going with the flow… but as soon as I recognize I am in relapse position… I take measures… and said only 1 thing to myself…“If I go 1 more step further…and underestimate this… then I will end up in relapse…and regret…shameful…a loser.”

I relaxed only for 1 day…even not for whole day…only from evening to night… and I was almost there… I have to remind myself all the reasons daily… so that when I face this type of situation…my brain can reflect my Why… Why I am doing NoFap…

My mistake was…I break my rule…I followed that pattern again…

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Great thought…:smile:

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Relapsed… after 6 days…

Not in mood to write anything… just trying to think positive.

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1 Like

:dart: Mandatory Tasks
:white_check_mark: NF(1/3) … Day 1
:x: Practice Mindful Living … Day 0
:white_check_mark: Mindful Eating(1/2) … Day 1
:white_check_mark: No Junk Youtube … Day 1
:white_check_mark: No Relapse Position … Day 1
:white_check_mark: No Triggering Content … Day 1
:white_check_mark: No Dirty Talk … Day 1
:white_check_mark: Daily Task(M,W,B)- 2/3 … Day 1

:dart: First Priority Tasks
:x: Sleep on time (12 ) … Day 0
:white_check_mark: Wake Up(5:30 AM) … Day 1
:white_check_mark: Morning Walk (2 Km) … Day 1
:x: Pranayam … Day 0
:x: Study 1/4 … Day 0
:white_check_mark: Work (3 hours) … Day 1
:x: Meditation(M,E) 2/2 … Day 0
:x: English(L,V,P) 3/3 … Day 0
:white_check_mark: Next Day Planning … Day 1

:dart: Second Priority Tasks
:x: Yoga … Day 0
:x: Exercise … Day 0
:x: Visualization … Day 0
:x: Affirmations … Day 0

:dart: Third Priority Tasks
:x: Chess(L,P) 2/2 … Day 0
:x: Book Reading … Day 0
:x: Motivation/Information/NF/Reasons … Day 0


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:dart: Mandatory Tasks
:white_check_mark: NF(2/3) … Day 2
:x: Practice Mindful Living … Day 0
:x: Mindful Eating(0/2) … Day 0
:white_check_mark: No Junk Youtube … Day 2
:white_check_mark: No Relapse Position … Day 2
:white_check_mark: No Triggering Content … Day 2
:white_check_mark: No Dirty Talk … Day 2
:white_check_mark: Daily Task(M,W,B)- 2/3 … Day 2

:dart: First Priority Tasks
:white_check_mark: Sleep on time (11:30 ) … Day 1
:white_check_mark: Wake Up(5 AM) … Day 2
:white_check_mark: Jogging (2 Km) … Day 2
:white_check_mark: Pranayam … Day 1
:x: Study 2/4 … Day 0
:white_check_mark: Work (4 hours) … Day 2
:white_check_mark: meditation(M,E) 1/2 … Day 1
:white_check_mark: English(L,V,P) 1/3 … Day 1
:white_check_mark: Next Day Planning … Day 2

:dart: Second Priority Tasks
:x: Yoga … Day 0
:x: Exercise … Day 0
:x: Visualization … Day 0
:x: Affirmations … Day 0

:dart: Third Priority Tasks
:x: Chess(L,P) 2/2 … Day 0
:x: Book Reading … Day 0
:x: Motivation/Information/NF/Reasons … Day 0

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7/10/20

NF: Day 1
:x: Wake up
:x: Jogging
:x: Pranayam
:white_check_mark: Study (Not recorded)
:x: English (Learn- N; Practice- N)
:x: Exercise
:x: Yoga
:x: Meditation
:x: Visualisation
:white_check_mark: Tomorrow’s planning

1 Like

We’re together for a very new long streak!

For sure! We are not relapsing for 2020 anymore.

1 Like

8/10/20

:white_check_mark: NF (Day 2)
:x: Practice Mindful Living
:x: Mindful Eating
:x: No Junk Youtube
:white_check_mark: No Relapse Position
:x: No Triggering Content
:white_check_mark: No Dirty Talk
:x: Daily Task(M,W,B) : M- x

:white_check_mark: Sleep on time
:x: Wake up
:x: Jogging
:x: Pranayam
:white_check_mark: Study (Not recorded… 4-5hrs)
:x: English (Learn- N; Practice- N)
:x: Exercise
:x: Yoga
:x: Meditation
:x: Visualisation
:white_check_mark: Tomorrow’s planning

4 Likes

9/10/20

:x: NF (Day 0) - Relapsed Y’Day night
:x: Mindful Eating (L: Y, D: N )
:x: No Junk Youtube
:x: No Relapse Position
:x: No Triggering Content
:white_check_mark: No Dirty Talk
:x: Daily Task(M,W,B) : M- x; B-x

:x: Sleep on time
:x: Wake up
:x: Jogging
:x: Pranayam
:white_check_mark: Study/Study Related work (7 hrs )
:x: English (Learn- N; Practice- N)
:white_check_mark: Exercise(Walk)
:x: Yoga
:x: Meditation
:x: Visualisation/Affirmation
:white_check_mark: Tomorrow’s planning

Bro… Stand up and take challenges… We are in same Age Group
Plz Get out from chasing Effect… The Main Reason for Repeated failure is Mobile addiction
First you should fix it

2 Likes